Chapter 11- I am Zayd...not Zain

For weeks I had two important things going on. My training on the race track and the study sessions with Zayd and our friends. It felt good having people around me who spent most of their time trying to uplift me. This compared to the types of people I use to deal with was a blessing alone. Today there was a special event at school, we got to see Zain and Zayd give us an exclusive show. As I walked into the crowd taking a seat on the opposite side of the crowd I caught a glimpse of the ladies I had once bragged to for having a VIP ticket. I still had one, for a completely distinct world though. Erica, Raees and Yusra joined me and passed over a few of their snacks. A lot of laughter went on before the boy's arrival was announced. The principal made a few of his bad jokes and the science crowd loved it.

After a dreadful silent moment, Zayd was the first to walk out and his first gesture of blowing kisses to the crowd made the entire crowd go wild. I laughed a little watching them jolt over someone they probably may never get to know on a personal level. Zain entered and his crowd bigger with more females filled the entire stadium with screams of joy …

My heart sank. He didn't look, wave, smile or wink in my direction at his arrival. Not that I wanted him to, it was the routine we had since he started racing, and that came flashing through my mind. In fact, his entire demeanour was more proud and confident. I buried my face with a can of soda trying not to show how much of me yearned to have him notice me. The race started and Zain had won the first of 3 rounds, the second was taken by Zayd and the last one was a draw.

I cheered during the silent break poking out my first to encourage him, he bowed his head humbly before placing his helmet back on. Back onto the track and unfortunately by an inch, he gave into the round allowing for Zain to take the win. Apart from me being happy for Zain, the other mourning Zayd's loss. We strolled down the raised pedestal and his friends left the area …no wonder he was always on his own whenever a race would end.

I rushed toward him with a bottle of water but Zain walked by and grabbed the bottle, glaring at the both of us.

"What do we call you two now?" He said taking a sip of the water, "Is this your rebound Qadira."

"We were never a couple," I said grabbing the bottle

"It's contaminated, don't touch it," Zayd said pushing it out of my hand

It splashed all over Zain. He grinned removing his shirt and glasses and the heavens and earth are my witnesses. I felt my cheeks heat up. Why though? I saw the boy naked almost every day of my life…he wiped his face smiled and took his leave. Zayd took my hand and mounted me onto his bike. Baffled by his actions I followed suit and we found our way off the track passed the crowds. I didn't comprehend the response to the situation but we ended up stopping at the school exit.

"Don't ever wait for me after a show…I`m a bitter person."

"Doesn't sound like the narrative in my head I met you after a show."

"While you were waiting for Zain…I`m not his replacement Qadira, so please choose a different way to show your concern, remorse, and love to me. I understand that you've been doing all of this for the guy for all his life but his gone now, and if you can't accept that and are trying to replace his narrative in your heart with me then I don't want to be your friend. So don't hand me water after a race or bring me snacks during class, and don't walk me home or fall asleep on my back while I ride you home. I'm Zayd…Qadira …Zayd!"

"I didn't realize that it made you feel that way."

"Well, it does."

"To be honest, Zayd. I don't really deserve you, but only time will tell where our relationship will end. I'll stop doing all of those and find a completely different narrative if it makes you feel better but I just want you to know that. The way I felt for Zain will never be the way that I feel for you. I believe that alone is self-explanatory."

"I hope it stays that way," He replied taking his backpack out of my arms.

I stood at the gate checking my bank account, I can't afford an Uber today. So I took a walk home that day and I really reflected, calling Raees. He mentioned that that's why they always leave him alone after a race, he often gets a little too vulnerable at the time and hates it when people see that side of him. He also mentioned that especially after he raced with Zain because it's been years since he's won to him. He mentioned nothing more. To me, however, it just looked like he used the cover-up of wanting to be alone as an excuse. If his frustration is linked not only to his loss but to the memories he gets of his relationship with Zain. Then the company, yes company is what he needed.

I had been walking for 15 minutes, arriving at a bus stop nearby. Zayd was waiting there.

"I know you don't have a ride home, here's my bus card," He said avoiding eye contact

"I want fried chicken …"

"Some other day…"

"Today please, my mother isn't home and I'm broke. So let's go today."

"He bit his lower lip sliding his helmet back on before pointing toward the back of his seat. I didn't touch him for the entire ride even if there were times when I almost slid off breaking my limbs. We arrived and he bought me the chicken, he had a burger as well

We sat under a bridge near a tunnel afterwards where he let out a huge sigh punching the ground.

"Why does he always win…"

"Why do you think he isn't worthy of winning?"

"I practice twice as much as he does…and still lose."

"He practices more than you do. He wakes up before everyone and is on the track from 4 am to 6, where he would start doing a few class revisions. Then he practices in between his tutorials and at least spends 4 hours a night rehearsing. The rest of his routine isn't important, my point, however, is that you barely do half of what he does."

"Sounds about right, but I have talent."

"HARD WORK, BEATS TALENT…"

"You sure do have a lot of arrows to shoot today, can't I pity myself a little?"

"You can, just..don`t blame other people for what isn't going right for you. Doing that may just make you worse at your bike or math skill."

"Guess chicken makes you wiser."

"Does it," I replied passing him the second bowl of my chicken…