Chapter 13- You don`t know me..

I told Yumna about Raees`s temporary leave. No one was surprised and stated that it was his typical routine now. I was baffled by their easy-going reactions. These people accepted fate for what it was and showed no struggle against it. They enjoyed moments for what they were, and unlike the science group, took life 1 step at a time embracing and encouraging any sort of failure. These are the people that a person would meet on the road in the future and be would be able to relate to.

"Qadira you did way too good for a transfer bro…" Zayd said giving me my history paper, Perfect score, so you are here to steal my crown," he announced

The class congratulated me and cheered for me to continue pushing forward, and to allow for their stream to always stay on top. Zayd had the same and Eric came in second. I had never felt so much contentment over a victory before. It was soothingly satisfactory. Zayd was proud and even bought us drinks later during lunchtime.

On our way back to class we bumped into Zain along the corridor.

"Heard you took the school by shock with your perfect score," he said with a smile

"I`m very certain that it isn't any of your business…"

"You may think that changing your stream makes us friends instead of competitive rivals, but you're wrong…I have to keep my head above you scums."

"Funny that your calling me the scum," I said pushing him

Zayd pulled me away pushing Zain to the side, "Defeat him with actions, not words," Yusra said.

"Wise words," Erica shadowed

If only they had allowed me to smash his face into a wall. I would have felt a lot better.

"Qadira, why are you still allowing him to get to you," Zayd asked breaking the tip of his pencil

"It's a sketch you need to use soft strokes," I replied taking the pencil, "My relationship with Zain, will never come to a conclusion but that doesn't mean he`s in my life, except being my competitor of course."

"You did it again…"

"What do you mean?"

"You evaded my question Qadira. I asked why he still gets to you."

"Because he's the only one who knows how to," I replied breaking the beak of my pencil now

"What do you mean?"

"He knows me well, too well. What makes me happy, sad or overly obsessive?

"Zain is basically the male version of me which is why we clash a lot."

"If he knows you so well why did he…"

"Backstab me?

"I may never know the reason if I don't ask, but one thing is certain…he might not know where he went wrong. It's good that I`m out of his life anyways, not like he had any time for me and I'm weary of him."

"I see, oh well.

"Maybe he doesn't know you as well as you think he does. I mean if he did, he wouldn't have done what he did."

"What do you mean…"

"You've painted the wrong image of him. You know very well what type of an individual he is and what his treatment towards you demonstrates, you're simply choosing to deny it. It's okay though, when you`re with me you`ll understand what a healthy relationship consists of."

"You mean friendship…"

"Of course."

A fake image. Could be true, but that would need to be investigated. Though I hated him my anger toward him reduced by the day. I am thinking a lot more clearly about the situation and what is it that specifically ticked me off. It still hurt though, his presence, the sound of his name and even his passing by without waving in my direction. I just need to adjust to the new…new everything I guess.

"What do you want Layla…" I asked rolling my eyes

"I came to see you…"

"Not in the mood honestly."

"Please just give him my phone number at least…"

"If you want to date Zain go the hell ahead. I am not helping, not stopping you not cheering for you but you know what I am trying to do?

"live my life."

"I knew you wouldn't help can`t believe that you still hung over him."

"We did not date for the last time!

"Besides don't you have a pageant to diet for…."

"Nice joke….you of all people telling me how to prepare when you can't even compete..."

"Your right, can I go now?"

The thing about modelling is that you may be the best today, but someday someone will be better.

"Whatever…"

I entered the class and carried on with my day as usual. Or at least that was what I planned on doing.

"Why do you act like you want to be here if clearly, your heart is yearning for science," Devin enquired tapping out of his online game

"It will always have a place in my heart. However, I had always loved it for the wrong reasons."

"Zain?"

"Yes, I did it for Zain. He had always been my shield and I always wanted to be that for other people. All I did however was become this power-crazy girl."

"So you're staring at their debate contest because?"

"Because they look good. I hope the best person wins, preparing for those are a hand full. Every student in there needs to win to gain peer validation. Without a victory, they merely become an invisible geek."

"That's deep," he replied turning to his tablet again

Academic validation. There is no such thing as validation in an ivy league school unless you shine brighter than everyone else and trust me, that alone breaks you every day. I may have been able to keep that light on me for as long as possible but the fuel behind it, lessened, day by day and I no longer had enough to keep me shining. Now I am merely an unpolished diamond.

"He won," Erica said handing me a coke, "If you competed you would`ve come second."

"That I already know," I replied opening the can

I took a sip swallowing the rest of my tears, one had accidentally fallen.

"You know Qadira, you don't always have to be the best. It's okay to take a break from that life. Let loose, smile. Be a teenager. The thing with you science kids is that you don't behave like your age and believe that mistakes are only meant for people like us but you're wrong. We all need to fall, we all need to fail and we all just need to step back sometimes and allow for nature to take its course. Stop forcing, regretting, and hurting. Look, now he`ll have his media coverage, go home, and continue to live his life without a single thought of you, and you deserve that peace as well."

"It's funny how you say that like it's as easy as one two three. I want you to remember that you`ve known me for a mere month. You have no idea what I have seen, who Zain actually is to me and all the suffering I`ve had to endure over the years.

"Yes, Erica. I deserve to be happy too, but I`m allowing for it to hit me now so that it doesn't affect me later…"

"Wise."

"What are you ladies talking about, both of you look like you're about to beat each other up," Zayd said grabbing the can from my hand

"I see the old me in Qadira…" Erica responded, " But she's headed in the correct direction."

"So you have told her that you have had a similar downfall," Zayd said

"Not really. We have different anticipations, she wants to rise to the top and I…I just want to live peacefully without remembering the past."

"I don't think you're ready enough to share," I replied agitated

Why was she acting like she knew exactly who I was or what I was feeling?

"Let's go Qadira they're exiting," Devin said gathering up his equipment

I tried tying my lace quickly but ended up stalling so Zayd picked me up running off with me hanging off his shoulder, like a bag of potatoes.