Chapter 35- is this a victory?

Chapter 35: Is This a Victory?

It's finally our senior year, and I haven't heard from Zamin or Zain. Zain disappeared from school, and his stats grew on the charts as the most wanted actor, forcing him to leave.

The last time I heard from him was New Year's Eve. He had planned something for us but got caught up at a party...

Last Year Before New Year's Eve

I stood outside my house watching the fireworks. Zain had never missed a New Year with our parents, but this year he got held up at work. He arrived thirty minutes before the countdown began. Both our mothers were caught up with their guests, and I found the crowd overwhelming, so I stood apart, trying to enjoy myself.

Zain eventually arrived on his motorcycle, dressed in black jeans and a black shirt with a silver chain.

I felt my cheeks heat up as I watched him walk toward me. He grabbed my hand and took me up to the rooftop. Both of us were completely silent, but as soon as we arrived, he turned to me, looking me in the eye.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like this... but I didn't have enough courage to tell you without being this way."

His breath reeked. Alcohol? He was drunk. I wasn't surprised, but I also didn't know how to react to him confessing.

He placed his hands in his pockets and looked at me again. "I'm leaving."

In just one breath, he not only shocked me but also confused me. "Don't say anything. I won't remember any of it tomorrow..."

"An even better reason to say it, then. What do you mean, you're leaving?"

"I'm leaving school... dropping out. Don't worry, though—I told them to give you the university award. You have to go back to science, though. It would be honoring me in many ways. I'd get to live my dreams through you..."

"I don't want it. You keep what you worked for."

He grabbed my wrist. "Please... my pride would never allow me to do this after years of working so hard. Please, Qadira... I need you to do me this favor. For old times' sake."

"Zain, I—"

"Qadira. We may never see each other again because of how different our worlds are, but I promise to come back for you. I'm dying at the thought of not being able to be with you."

"What are you saying? Can you please—"

Before I could finish my sentence, he shut me up by kissing me. "Some things don't have to make sense," he said as he pulled away.

I felt intoxicated by the way he was looking at me in that brief moment after kissing me, so I kissed him back. He didn't say anything after that, but he kissed me on the forehead and left. Part of me was happy he wouldn't remember anything. What had gotten into me? Why did I kiss him?

The countdown went off, and the only thing I saw was the bright sky turning many shades of the rainbow.

Zain... I hate what you do to me.

Present Day

That is why I was now standing in the office in my proper uniform. The principal accepted my apology and allowed me to become a science student again. A part of me will miss the arts, but what's the point of being there if I can't achieve my goal? Zain had indeed left his scholarship to me, and as head girl, I had the responsibility of honoring it.

I eventually got what I wanted, but this isn't how I wanted it to go. I wanted to rub my victory in his face. I wanted him to look at me at my most glorious moment and feel the heartache I had felt for years. But that idiot had won in a different way. Now, I wanted him beside me more than anything else.

"You still don't want to tell anyone anything?" Erica asked, taking a seat in front of me. "And what's with the serious face these days? Is everything okay?"

"I'm sorry... a lot has happened in such a short time that I don't know how to explain it to anyone," I replied, picking up my notebook. "I have to go."

I wasn't in the mood to be around anyone. I had just lost a loved one, and though he wasn't dead, he had basically asked me to think of it that way.

"Look, Zain's on TV again!" my mother yelled as I entered the house. "Another romance action film," she emphasized with longing in her eyes.

I silently walked past her in the television room. Sometimes, to heal, we shouldn't be constantly reminded of the instigator. I hated that he was everywhere because of technology—on our television, all over my Instagram, even on billboards. Zain, maybe if you hadn't kissed me and given me such a thoughtful gift, moving on would have been easier.

Zaid had returned to school after being called by the principal. I still hadn't gotten the chance to see him or interact with him, but I'm sure he was disappointed in me for not staying in arts after he had given his all to make me fall in love with it.

On a different note, I cried sometimes. Maybe that's why I struggled to smile in public or even be the goofy person everyone grew to love. I wonder if Zain was really okay. Why was he turning to alcohol when he had cigarettes to help?

"It's funny how you haven't called since I left," Zaid said, tapping my shoulder.

I looked at the figure behind me. He had a polished beard, and he still spoke volumes. I smiled weakly. "I've never felt so much happiness in such a long time... thank you for coming back." I pulled him into my arms and embraced him.

He wasn't Zain... but hugging him helped me feel a little less numb.