Chapter 5 Live for myself

5pm.......

    I have been here for the past 4 hours and my pastor is not yet around. I thought of going home but I decided against it. I needed to see him at least,you know how these men of God are. I don't want to be disrespectful to his beliefs. I know it's hard, been doing that though but I wanted him to understand that even if he thinks he can run my life or whatever, believe me I think it's high time all this stuff stop.

    I am tired of being the good girl everyone wants me to be and I am tired of trying to do their biddings or trying to be what the society wants me to be. What about me, what about my feelings ,why does everything have to centralise on me being a good girl.

       I know as a girl child ,the world expect so much from me,the fact that I have to keep myself intact so that my future husband will love and cherish me,that is b******* !.That stuff doesn't happen anymore, it might have happened in the past centuries but this century,no way. we're civilised and we do know that virginity does not keep a man.

      I waited patiently for my pastor to come, in order not to disrespect him and also to hear him out. You know I really love that man of God so much, I want to be a good girl but at the same time I don't think I can keep up .I am being termed a Virgin Mary by my peers, can you imagine all that I have to go through all because I'm trying to keep the societal norms. no way I have had it up to my neck and this time around I am going to shock everyone and the shock, it's going to be a surprise one. watch out and see me become the new me, what no one will ever think that I will be able to do.

       I was on the verge of going home when the pastor returned to the church and requested to see me. I followed him to his office, sat down on the chair and readied myself to listen to what he has to say.

   "My child"

he said and I looked at him

"The Holy Spirit is speaking to me to talk to you ,do not use because of pressure group or peer pressure to deviate from the path of truth".

I was like what is this man saying,I understand that if a guy can misbehave, I can as well misbehave. I did not want to give him the impression that I have I'm made up my mind to deviate. it's ok, it's no big deal. At least it is my life, I don't want anyone to run it for me,not him, not my mum or the society. I have chosen to live and live will I live. I will live for myself from now on. I thanked him and I left his office, after all he has been a good father to me.

     It's a shame how society wants the girl child to be responsible but promotes irresponsibility on the part of the guys.

Writer's Note: I hope we are making progress guys?.