Lost...

"Hi Miss Chris. How do you feel?" He smiled while his glasses rested on partly on his nose

  "I'm ok actually, can you discharge me now? I'm totally fine. I feel good..." I insisted

  "Yes! Good thing Lola brought you.....have you had any appointments with a psychologist before?"

  "Yeah? Any problem?" I sat up

  "Relax! You might want to redo the sessions again...." He started

  ".....you don't get it, I said I'm fine, doctor...." Requesting his name

  "...Park" he added immediately

  "Doctor Park.....I really need to go right now, trust me I'm fine. Remember its my body not yours, I'll just get the bills paid..." 

  "Miss Chris, i suggest you rest longer. I'd prescribe some painkillers and some Sleeping pills to help you sleep its not an Option its a necessity" he nodded positively

  "Thank you!....Can I get the bills now?" I stood to leave as Lola tried to assist me, I pushed her away

  "No need for that. Thanks to Lola" he maintained his smile

  "....can you refund it to her, I guess they were cheap enough for her to handle" I fired

The doctor help but reply this one after noticing some awkwardness between both of us

  "You know, a little thank you could make her feel way better....." 

  "No! Its nothing compared to what she made me go thru....." I defended

  "...yet she saved your life. Show some gratitude Miss Chris it doesn't cost your money, whatever she might have done is by the way....I don't think you want to be rude" he smiled and left

I knew I was rude to her, I was angry. It got me actually thinking if I had forgiven her or not

  "I totally understand your actions Danni, I was wrong and I'm sorry. I won't stop pleading..." 

I melted somehow but the rage was there her face reminded me of everything.

  "Thanks for the bills.... for the culture" I air quoted

 I couldn't help it not being rude. 

I allowed her follow me home, she helped me cleaned up while I played some old blues from Marvin Gaye, Leonard Richie, Boys to Men, Backstreet boyz. We sat at the counter taking some cereals and milk for the kill.

  "What exactly do you want from me? Just maybe I could give you to vanquish." My head was focused on the white bowl

  "Nothing....I want to help you..." 

  "Do what exactly?" I turned to her

  "With whatever you want, like finding Jamal..." She pointed

  "Mm hmm! I guess you took him away, actually I-don't-care. Its for his father....." I almost blurted

  "What do you mean his father?" She looked confused

I couldn't shut it no more, I started already.

  "Dr Khaleefa died sometime ago, thanks to your madness, Lola. I just can't stop blaming you for piloting the plane that crashed all of us to the ground, plus losing our dad! You suck, this sucks everything sucks!! (I almost yelled) y'all are the reason I'm seeing doctors, not just doctors but brain doctors. Ever since this Whole thing started

 I found it hard to recognize myself, i did things Mama would curse me for.....Congratulations Lola, Jamal everyone that was a part of my tragedy......" I was painting breathlessly due to the yelling

  "I did not want that. We both loved the same man and I overreacted....." She tried to get defensive

  "....don't start it. You can have him to yourself!" I sat back 

  "Let me help in finding Jamal, even if its the last thing I'd ever do" she suggested

  "Your call!" 

I couldn't deny her that leverage. I did not want it to seem like I actually cared about us finding Jamal, besides she started all this. I'll gladly grant that request of hers.

We drove to the coffee shop as agreed, Tommie was ahead of us, waiting.

  "Sorry, I took long...." I apologized

  "I'm surprised to see her as well?" Tommie 's disappointment glared

  "Forget about it, now is not the right time please" I digressed

  "When is? Well, what's up dear? You remembered me huh?" He smirked

  "I Always did. Some women get too insecure when you get clingy to their men, forgive me!" I teased, we laughed

  "Really huh? What's wrong actually? There's so much behind that smile of yours, share it." He figured

  "Uhmmm, we are searching for Jamal, He's been kinda missing for almost a year now and its very important we see him...."

  "Woah...Woah...Woah!" He sat up and continued "Jamal's missing?"

  "You didn't know?" I asked to my surprise

  "How would I? I thought that after y'all separated, he left town probably.." He Added

  "Oh no! I don't know, I really thought you'd know. You're the last person I could ask about Jamal. What the hell?" I scoffed turning away

  ".....he didn't come to you or something or a call or texts....just anything" Lola rightly added

  "None Miss. Besides you started this shit and you...."

He started to flare up

  "....Tom...Tommie! I understand you're mad but can we not start this, right now?

She's got a name alright? Just calm down!" I said coldly

  "You shoulda mentioned she was coming with you, I just can't stand her!" He left hastily with a frown

I turned to Lola finally

  "Just go away!" 

  "I'm sorry. I deserve more, I'm willing to take it" Her eyes welled

  "You can see your help is far from good luck, just....go home instead! Thanks" I sounded polite and calm

I really hated situations like this, I couldn't talk more or flare up as well there was no strength for that.

Two days at a stretch, i didn't hear from Hunter or the McClure's I knew something was up. There was no update on the news or socials, I just couldn't figure out the main deal. I wore my usuals with a simple bun on my her supporting the mission driving to Hunter's parents'. 

The security team stood like pillars then I approached a security man then I asked

  "Any problem? Where's everyone, where's the governor?"

 I tried to find my way into the mansion

To my surprise, this was the first time I was held back.

  "Im Sorry Ma'am, you can't go in right now" 

  "What do You mean, I can't go in? You could lose your job I swear it. I can actually make that happen" I tried to force my way in

This time, 2 securities held me back like I was mad already. I wanted a scene, I expected someone coming out already

  "What's going on here?" I yelled finally

  "You might want to calm down. Did you come by invitation?" The other asked

  "Why would I? Its Madam Carol's....no need to explain, I'll call them up"

I walked to my car to get my phone and dialed Ada, it rang countlessly yet there was no response. I dialed the governor and Carol yet there was nothing in return. I dialed Sabrina's yet nothing then I dialed Eric my last luck, to my shock no one picked my calls. I went Over to the securities

  "I'm calm as you can see.....Actually I was sent by Dr Khaleefa, the governor is expecting me, Doctor's daughter. Mm hmm?" I tried to convince

  "That tycoon?" The 2nd replied

  "That tycoon is my dad. The governor awaits my coming, so help me and you inclusive to inform the McClure's that I'm here to give an important message.... How about that?" I turned to the first security          "would you convince your colleague that its a matter of life and death?" My teeth clenched while I spoke

I really couldn't really figure out why I was held back so bad. Why was I even included, if it were intentional then that was rude and shocking, even Ada and Eric weren't left out.

I watched these men contemplate If it was ok to let me In or not, I took chances. I ran as fast as i could to the doors pressing the door bell like I wanted it out then I banged on it to really cause attraction while the securities tried to retrieve me like some missing key. Luckily, Eric showed up 

  "What the hell?" I said in distaste 

  "You don't want to hold her no more" Eric told the security men

  "Just following orders sir, sorry!" They left

I walked inside like it was actually my own apartment. I sighted Ada looking at Hunter's large portrait as Sabrina rested her head on her Shoulder, they didn't notice I was directly behind them. Eric walked to them and whispered God knows what. 

  "What have I done to deserve such treatment from you three? (There was silence)....Can someone look me in the eye....and tell me what's going on?" 

  "I just cant do this!" Ada replied in a breaking voice.

Sabrina nodded negatively as tears rolled down her cheek and left as well.

  "Eric, what's wrong? This is weird...Man up and say something?" I coaxed

Eric looked at me without a word, it felt like he wasn't even listening to me at all.

I found Carol at the garden sobbing while her husband stood over her rubbing her back. Nah! Something is up. I walked up to them 

  "Mr governor. Madam Carol....what's going on here?" 

They turned to me, quite explainable they've been shedding tears of whatever it was.

  "I dialed your lines, everyone's lines but y'all didn't answer. I've been outside for over an hour. Did y'all place a restraining order against me, did i really do something I'm not aware of?" 

They kept their silence instead, madam Carol's eyes welled instantly

  "Besides, I wanted to know if Hunter returned safely. I really dunno why he's been ignoring me but im sure he's been occupied so........Is he here" I requested answers

The governor stood in front of me with his hands behind his back

  "Its unfortunate that he couldn't return this time....."

  "Oh! He postponed the flight or something?" I eyes was welling up in tears already

  ".....Hunter is dead! He's dead Danielle, never coming back" he blurted

  "No, he's not! I can't lose him to the clouds"

I ran to the living room to get my cell phone while Eric called from behind

  "Can I drive you home?"

  "Even you? You kept all this from me, Eric. Am i that useless to you?"

  "Danni, i couldn't...." 

I walked to the car then drove off.

My heart sank, wondering how on earth did this happen. I warned Hunter about this, I numerously did. I drove to the nearest river bank I could locate, then I turned my phone off.

I thought about this over and over again, tears were just there to express how I feel.

I know I've had countless difficulties and disappointments but Hunter's death touched the innermost part of me, it felt like I've know Hunter for a lifetime. There! I realized that Jamal was no where close to showing more affection like Hunter did.  Just couldn't find the right words to describe how terrible I felt when the governor told me to my face concerning Hunter. I understood the reason they kept it away from me and the press itself. He taught me how to love myself despite all odds, he embraced me when i wallowed in my world of pain, he made everything seem easy and sweet, there wasn't a terrible moment with Hunter. This was the moment I realized i loved him more than I had ever thought, I swore to never forget Hunter even in years to come.

I turned on the TV, the headline was literally about the plane crash, not a single person survived, not even body parts were found, I turned it off immediately, then I heard a knock on my door at about 8am, it was Omar. He visited on behalf of my colleagues, he hugged me immediately.

  "I'm really sorry for your loss, ma'am. He really loved you so much" he said heartily

Yes of course, back then Hunter would come pick me up at my job, sometimes we go for dinner.

We sat on the couch, while I stood quiet soaked in tears.

  "Thank you for coming, Omar. Y'all should all take a break if you want....." I wiped off my tears

  "Oh no! I'd handle it, we can. At least its our little way of supporting you..." Omar explained

  "Thank you!" I did not know what time say

  "...it's ok! I'd leave now For work. I brought you these, your fave!" He kept a beautiful box of cookies

I nodded positively, I really couldn't talk. Omar left immediately.

Mustapha texted that he couldn't find Jamal, then I replied saying it's all good. I wasn't ready to talk just yet. 

Few hours later, Carol and Ada stood at my door, I was shocked to see the first lady at my door.

  "Madam Carol!" I collapsed in her arms, as well as Ada

I invited them in then we sat

  "I'd like you to come with us to the mansion, he'd love it!" Carol opted

  "I can...." I wanted to dissuade them

  "No Danni, You should come us!"

I had no other choice but to agree, I took  my shower and returned to them all dressed in the simplest way I could. A whole convoy was outside my door, really not a surprise, we drove off in silence.