Chapter 108: What i still want

What i still want!

  "Kareem, what the hell is wrong with you?" Lamar asked, he looked disappointed "What'd you do that for?"

  "He came at me! What sorta statement is that? 'You are...' Does that even make sense?" I asked back

  "You could at least be humble?!" He added

I stood in silence shocked at his statement, this is unfair.

  "Bunny, are you serious?" I asked calmly

  "Guys, calm down! Let's game upstairs. That's why we are here. We do this every time so why's this different?" Jeff said correctly.

  "That's not fair! That dude tried to insult me and that's all you've got to say?! Jeez! You're ridiculous!" I blurted turning away.

  "Seriously? You could at least..." He paused then he continued "Sorry man! Lets just let it go!" Lamar said

  "Sure but you still think that i got to apologize to them, yeah?! Im sorry but not to them!" I pointed out

Jeff nodded in disappointment then we headed upstairs with some spirited drinks.

An hour passed still gaming and talking business then a call interrupted us, Jeff's mother. He excused himself heading to the bathroom, i wonder what's so private.

Lamar turned to me after i threw the controller aside.

  "What's up, bro?" He asked turning off the game too.

  "I'm turned off and i can't find why!" I said calmly

  "Wasn't expecting Pixie huh?" He scoffed

  "So you knew about her all these while and you never said a word?" I asked

  "Why would you care? I thought you were still mad at her...you know the incident from way back...i judt didn't know that..." He said in doubts

  "...I wouldn't grow up, yeah?" I blurted out "I can't believe that's the man she chose! Such a douchebag!" I said

He was unhappy with my comment but i just had to say it.

  "Do you realize that's the reason  why you're still lonely?" He blurted almost pissed. I felt an electric spark in my head

I frowned tried to digest his words but it was indigestible.

  "Did i hear you really well?" I asked, kick starting my anger 

  "You just did!" He repeated "That's the reason why you're freaking lonely. Every time you decide to do better you spoil it. You change up and hurt people's feelings..." He said

  "Are you serious? What do you even know about me or my lifestyle? Don't you ever...talk to me in that manner again?!" I flared up instantly, i dropped down from the bed as well

  "Or what exactly Kareem? Stop acting up stupid and childish!" He added, flaring up like me

  "You really want to see what i can do??? Really? Firstly, some bozo walked in here to insult my personality and you sae nothing and secondly, you detect to me how to run my life? C'mon Lamar, don't let me get mad at you..." I warned. Hitting my friend was not an option for me, i did that before which turned out ugly.

  "You know? I've been thinking about your situation and i got to find out that you are a piece of work! You don't give respect to whom its due, all you care about is yourself..." He blurted out. Jeff walked out hastily after listening to the uproar.

  "Lamar?" Jeff gave a questionable look, i guess he did like that statement too. "Don't talk to his ass that way, He's a man not a kid!" Jeff cautioned

  "Look at who's talking about respect?!" I added "He's got no right to talk to me that way. Dont try to judge me or my actions. Period!" I turned to pick my phone from the table.

  "Its way to obvious that he's jealous that we have women in our lives not him. He hops from one woman to the other only because he thinks he coukd always get whatbhe wants at anytime. If its not then why's it so hard for him to get a girl? Why? He's got no idea on how to please a woman?!" Lamar blurted out angrily.

I was trying as hard as possible to hide my anger, i was trying to act normal just to avoid a fight fest but it seemed like he really wanted me to react.

  "Who are you to say that, Lamar? Its his life. There's a better way to talk to him, he's our brother!" Jeff corrected. I turned to leave, i turned to Lamar again

  "You know i can actually have sex with who ever i want, Lorraine or not, rich or not, sexy or not...just whoever, 'coz i own my life entirely. What i do with it has nothing to do with you, i hope you know that? I won't watch you insult me only because I'm under your roof, that's what i respect?!" I said.

I walked out yanking the door hard. I didn't care if Jeff remained or not, i headed to my car instead.

10:42pm,

Zach approached after i pulled over at the parking space. I got it the car yet he wouldn't let me walk  freely.

  "Welcome home sir! I was actually waiting for you to return!" He said

  "Could you go straight to the point! I'm kinda having a bad day!" I snapped. It was worthless trying to pass the anger on him, he was innocent.

  "I'd like you to offset me! I'd..." He began to stutter then i interrupted instantly

  "Am i really a bad guy?! Anyways, just incase you change your mind! I'll do the needful!" I forced a smile then patted him on the shoulder "Thanks for being there! I'll talk to you tomorrow, im really messed up right now! You can leave!"

I instructed calmly then he scurried away with a smile.

I did not want to think of his reasons, i walked into my house.

I closed the door behind me sighing in distress then i turned to proceed, a familiar voice called.

  "Why are you doing this?" Mother asked, her voice sounded pleasant. 

  "Mom!" I walked towards her lazily, I knew what she was about to talk about anyways.

  "Why are you doing this, Kareem?" She stood up walking towards me. She stopped. "I asked you for s simple request and what did you do, throw the poor girl away. Is that it?"

  "Mom! What are you talking about?" I was confused, i had to ask questions.

  "How about Lorraine?" She pointed out

  "I..I..We had to split! I don't think we have something good in common..." I explained calmly but she countered

  "...You didn't have to throw her out like that, Kareem. That was humane. She left her comfort to be with you and this is what you give in return..." She complained. I could not hold myself again so i yelled out.

  "...Mama just stop! Just stop ok! Please!" I calmed a bit, i continued "All we've ever talked about was Lorraine...Lorraine...Lorraine, how about you ask me if im happy or not? You wouldn't! All you want is for me to get married to Lorraine, is that fair?" I pointed out angrily while she stood in silence. "I tried to please you and do everything you want these past few weeks but have you ever asked if i was ok with it? Mama, i deserve a chance to love someone good for me not her!" I explained with the hopes of her understanding my point, just like father.

  "Are you challenging me? Tell me the good things you've done for yourself when it was about women, tell me? How can i be ok when you prefer nothing but a stripper, is that a decision to make?" She asked. I was embedded in chaos, who was the stripper she was talking about? I asked myself

  "What are you talking about? Look Mama, if this is about me getting married to Lorraine then i think you'd have to force me 'coz i won't. She treats people like trash..." I said

  "Just like you do! Don't think of defending that pathetic maid you think she's comfy, she's not your type!" She yelled

 I was silent although, i allowed say so many things i crowned as awful and i figured that was no chance of me explainimg a million times to her so i refrained respectfully.

  "This wedding must and will push through whether or not your heart is in it! You'd get married to Lorraine! She's...the woman for you! Come off it!" She added

  "You'd loose me for this if you try to harder than normal, Mom!" I blurted out. She hit my face instantly. I expected that already, i only needed confirmations.

  "No son! Don't threaten me with this. I've dealt with so many issues than this so don't try it." She daunted "i mean...you'd threaten your family over a maid? I employed her to work for you not fall in love with you." She said. I was hurt by her words, no doubt.

  "Maybe you shouldn't have employed her 'coz i like her. I want her. I love her, Mom!" I confessed unconsciosly. She was shocked at my response.

  "You must be delusional. This is a joke, Kareem! Anyways,  i made it easier for you, i sent her away and you'll never find her again!"

  "Wait what?" I was getting heated by that statement

  "Yes Kareem, you'll never find her so you have to get your life together, your wedding matters the most!" She finally walking out the door.

I ran to Gianna's room to see for myself and it turnrd out to be true, mother would not lie over things like this. I headed to my room instantly then i found a note on my bed, i did not hesitate to take a look at it. It was a letter written by Gianna, simply showing gratitude for everything i had done and sending out her best wishes as well. What hurts more  was the fact that i couldn't get any references or address, it was only a plain note and nothing else. I threw the note to the floor since it was of no help to me because i didn't want her gratitude; i wanted her to myself. There! I realised that i have fallen in love with a maid which i know would be a choke on the neck for anyone to accept my preferences. Just as Pixie had stated earlier, i was always picky and choosy which i agree to but Lamar's assumptions about me were partly true. 

I could never be the reason behind my loneliness, i know for sure that i flirt almost all the time but that should not be a reason why i got no girl in my life. 

I sat on the bed with a thousand and one thoughts eroding my head, all i wanted to do was wake up next to Gianna every single day that would eventually pass by but that girl called Lorraine has destroyed everything i was working for.

I wondered if my actions towards Lorraine was fair or not because i couldn't find my faults. She got to understand that i had eyes on the maid not her which i a pressume was disrespectful to her personality. 

My heart was broken and shattered. This is the second girl in my life that captured my eyes and this situation got even more difficult, i could not reach her. Mother was a part of this which makes me angrier.

Day 25!

Days ago, i lost interest at the strip club suddenly but this day was different. My buddies and i had patched things up and we were back to our normal lives again. Mother has tried to reach me but i wouldn't reach out to her simply because i was tired of her wedding sermon, it seemed like nothing in the world would make her change her mind.

I didn't invite my friends to keep me company because it wasn't important, they had girlfriends to cuddle through the night and i wasn't ready to listen to them throw shades at me for being lonely. That was a huge spot in my life that made me feel incomplete, i had the money and fame but that one thing imposed a new phase of trauma in my life.

I paid $2,000 for a private dance with my favorite stripper and seductress that wouldn't say a word just yet.

The club manager had everything set up and it was time for my private show, i promised myself to find out about this girl that made me feel some type of way. I was in love with a maid and then i was lusting over a stripper, more reasons why people think i had no focus in the affairs of women, it was just like having everything to yourself with restraints.

  She did everything actually planned but this time i wanted to have the power over her. I stood up from where I was sitting then stood in front of her, she attempted to squeeze out then i grabbed her arm tightly dragging het to my embrace; something about this feels real and unreal but i had no answers to such trivia. I pressed her gently to the wall, her face to the wall and my body leaned on her back, i 

added sure that she wasn't hurt as well in a blue and red lighted room.

  "Something about you feels different and why's that?" I asked almost whispering. She was silent yet she tried to take off my grip. "I'm the man now, lady! Its obvious that i like you, you've seduced me countlessly and its time to act upon it, what do you think?" I smirked then i leaned my head forward, she could feel my heated breath on her flawless skin. "I want you right now, woman!" I clarified.

I turned her around, this time her back was against the wall, perfectly sorted out. She looked terrified and scared, she's never been timid so i wondered why now?

My left hand had pinned her wrists to the wall while my right hand roamed around. I squeezed her butt cheek after caressing her thighs. My fingers wouldn't stop traveling around her flat belly, they proceeded to her chest then she let out silent moans, her heart beat fidgeted but i didn't care since i wanted her to realise that i was the master. She's been messing and toying with my mind so it was time for payback regardless. I squeezed and massaged her tits gently then i refrained. Her lips had parted, i kissed her neck then i looked into her eyes that was behind a mask. She was heated then i smirked.

  "Will you not seduce me again? You can't have a man wasted and not satisfy him. I paid double the price to teach you a lesson that you'd never forget, my seductress." I taunted with a steady smirk on my face while she looked helpless and drenched, she wanted me badly after arousing her demons.