"I think you should go, you are way too big to continue to live in the past girl. It's been two years now and I believe he has moved on so why don't you move on. I think you going there will make him realize that he missed something great . He is a loser"
Tasha said after some time.
"Tasha, I am not strong enough. I can't do it. I have tried to move on but I can't. Each time I remember that I lost him,I pity myself. Going there will open more wounds that refuse to heal."
"Jenny, listen to me. You are a big girl and big girls don't sulk about things in the past. Zain ditched you for your sister, so what?. Don't be a dummy. You are going and that's final"
She did not listen to me and hung up.
I sat down on my bed and looked at my blue bedspread, how I neatly spread it without any line showing.
I chuckled and frowned when I saw that I had not solved my problem. The last person I would want to stay under the same roof is my brother in law, Zain.
I had not been able to heal from the pain of the past.
"You are not fleshy like you sis and she has got the curves you know. I love ladies that are big but you my darling are not big"
The words hurt like hell, it can't get out of my head. No matter how hard I tried. Each time I remember Zain, those hurtful words he said to me in our last meeting, taunt me. It breaks me more, I had tried everything I could to let go but the past would not leave me.
No one really understands what I am going through except Tasha. She was there for me through it all.
When Zain ditched me for my sister, depression nearly killed me but Tasha made sure I did not give up on myself.
It hurts to see the only man you ever craved for choose someone else over you. He made it clear that I was not his type anymore. This is someone I gave my first time to, I know that is not a factor but it was because I loved him that's why I allowed him to sleep with me.
I could die the world for Zain, I went clubbing because of Zain. I turned into a bad girl to please Zain and what did he do? He told me to my face that I was not his type. He was just passing time with me and before my eyes, he wedded my sister.
I know I am an idiot for not forgetting someone who had hurt but the truth is, I love Zain with my heart. I love him despite the fact that he is married to my sister.
Please, how do you expect me to go to such a place? To be seeing a man that I can only love but can't have simply because he is married. It's going to be damned hard. This is going to be the hardest thing I will ever do in life.