The Love That Refuse To Fade

       I felt angry and sad at the same time. Tasha means everything to me and if she want to do this then I think she needs her space, maybe when I am not there she will have a clear head to think that not everyone stay forever on the circle of friendship

   I just hope that when she comes out of this delusional thought of hers, we will go back to the way we used to be.

   I put my phone back in my bag and relaxed my back then closed my eyes. I stayed like that with a lot of things running through my mind.

   One of the doors opened and I opened my eyes to see Zain sliding into the back seat through the other side of the door. I was waiting to see Susan enter too but she did not come in nor is she close by because I looked through the window to see if she was coming.

   "Stop searching around for her, she is not coming"

Zain said and closed the door. I kept mute and closed my eyes again. If he wants to strike a conversation with me, it is a failed attempt.

    I felt a hand snuck behind my back and flicked my eyes open and before I could realize what was happening , I was sitting on zain's laps facing him. How did I end up on his lap? I struggled to get down but he held by the waist making it hard for me to get up from his laps.

  " Zain, are you insane? Let me down."

I screamed and he covered my mouth with his right hand.

    "Stop shouting, people will hear you"

He said and I glared at him. He chuckled and pulled his hand away from my mouth.

  "I miss you, I have been thinking about you since morning"

He said, his hot breath fanning my chest. I was not in for his game this midday so I struggled to get down but he would not let me.

  " Zain, I beg you let me go"

I retorted to begging.

   "You did not hear what I said huh?"

He asked, laughing at me with his eyes. 

  "I heard you but please can you let me down, anyone can see us or your wife can even walk through at any moment"

  I tried to reason with him but it looked like his demons were at work.

   "You know, I am suddenly horny and I want to get you under me. That's the only way I can let you go. I want to have you right here, right now"

He smirked and stared at my boobs. I felt naked under him and I hate that I am reacting to him because I felt wet under. Heat was beginning to spread all over my body.

   "Zain, this is not right. You can't be doing this to me whenever you want. Remember you left me for my sister, why don't you stick with her and let me be. Is it a crime to be your ex?"

I was almost crying.

   He looked up at my face and I saw his eyes softened. We stared at ourselves for like forever before he brought his stares.

    "I am sorry Jenny"

He murmured and let me go then closed his eyes and sighed.

   "If only you know what you are doing to me, you will have mercy on me"

He added. I felt the unhappiness in his voice. I wanted to touch him but stopped myself.

  "Jenny, the truth is I have not been able to let you off my mind for two years now. You haunt my dreams every night and whenever I make love to Susan, your image is the only thing in my mind. I can't help it. I love you so much but you hate me very much that you don't want to be in the same space with me."

   I was tongue tied, I didn't even know what to say or how to react to his confession. It's strange to know he has not let me off his mind for two years plus. 

   "I know I did the unforgivable thing by marrying your sister but the truth is I'm regretting my marriage with her and I wished I never listened to anyone but my heart. I let go of the one thing that matters most to me because I couldn't think straight and now, I can't stop thinking about you and to know that I can't even do anything about it is killing me slowly. I wish we can do something, I wish you can love this man again. Don't you believe in love over everything?"

    He paused and opened his eyes then took my hands in his.

 "Can't you see that my heart beats for you? Jenny, look into my eyes and tell me that I'm lying that my feelings for you are no longer there, tell me that I'm lying to you to get into you again. Baby girl, if you search through my heart, you will see that you are the only thing that is right there. I want to have you close to me regardless of what anyone will say. I don't care if I am married or not, love me again. I'm not asking you to marry me, just love me. I know  I'm being selfish at the moment but I can't help it."

    All I could see in his eyes was sincerity. He was being honest. The Zain sitting beside me at the moment was the Zain who could do anything for me. The man I fell in love with. The love I have for him will never fade.

   But there is nothing I can do, I can't love a married man to the extent of going down with him. I know I am still in love with him but naw, that stops there. We can never change the past. I can't be the reason his marriage will break which I know is likely to break but count me out.

   I gently pulled my hands away from him and gave him a small smile.

   "Sorry, Zain but I can't love you. I am in love with someone else"