It's Okay To Cry

Jenny's point of view….

   The doorbell woke me up. I did not know how long I have been sleeping.

 The sun was almost completely covered by the dark clouds, a sign that it will rain soon. 

"Hello? Anyone home?" A voice from outside asked. It sounded like a voice I know, its no mistake that it's my mom's voice.

I quickly jumped off the bed and got ready as fast as possible. I quickly exist my room to go open the door.

I opened the door and I found her standing with a pale face. She looked terrible. Her hair is a mess; she had bags under her eyes. There are also dark circles around her eyes. But what caught my attention most was the fact that she was wearing a dress which I didn't see her wear for ages.

She took one look at me before engulfing me in a hug. 

After some minutes she released me.

"Mom, are you okay?" I asked, worried about how she looks.

"Oh yes dear," she smiled weakly. 

"How are you too?" she said after she finally composed herself. 

"I am fine mom" I replied with a slight smile.

She just nodded before turning towards the door. 

   "Won't you invite me in?"

"Of course mom, we should"

I said and stepped aside for her to come in.

  This visit of hers wasn't supposed to be now, it was scheduled for next two weeks but Susan has brought her here with her death.

  I looked at her stiff back as we walked inside the house while I clutched her bag.

  I know she is trying hard not to cry but I don't know how long she is going to be strong. 

We walked into the living room where she immediately sat down on the couch. 

   I put down her bag and sat down with her then took her hands in mine.

  "Mom, crying doesn't make one weak, rather it helps you relieve whatever emotions you have bottled up in your heart. It's okay to cry." She nodded in response as she pulled me into a hug. 

  "I understand if you need to cry, alright. I, myself, am not okay and I won't pretend I am fine"

 My voice sounds shaky. The last couple of hours had been rough and seeing my mom so broken broke my heart. I could feel the tears building in my eyes. 

   She held me tighter and began sobbing softly. I rubbed her back trying to comfort her. I wasn't telling her not to cry, she has to free her heart.

  "I am sorry mom, it's unfortunate it happened"

I murmured in between her sobs.

   For some time, we stayed like that, with my thoughts running and questions churning up in my head.

  When she finally stopped sobbing, I led her to my room and went in search of food for her. Maybe I could use her influence and eat because I have not eaten anything since and I am sure she has not eaten too.

  I returned a few moments later with two plates of sandwiches and yogurts for the two of us. It's what I can afford to prepare.  

   Mom had changed out of her dress and into a simple flaw gown. Her hair had fallen from its bun and is messy, but she doesn't seem to care at all. We ate while sitting on the bed and in silence too.

"Why is Zain?" 

She asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

I sighed as I looked up at the ceiling.

"Zain went to the hospital"

I replied draining my last drop of yogurt. I looked at her  but there was no expression on it.

   "Should I tell her about the baby?"

I asked myself looking at my empty plate. I couldn't look at mom. 

 "Mom, there is something you need to know We can't find Susan's baby"

She stared at me confused,

"What do you mean, we can't find the baby?"

"I don't know mom, Zain returned from the hospital and told me that somehow the baby was taken away from him on his way back."

Mom gasped

  "Oh god" she whispered looking scared.

She hugged me tightly again and I felt like crying. 

  "So I lost my daughter and there is no baby to remind us of her. Is this not unfair? is life not unfair like this?"

She cried out in my arms. 

  Life is indeed not fair, looking at everything that has happened, we have no power over life. It takes us the way it deems fit.