Rainbow And Shadow

Tasha point of view…..

I was seated in the living room with mom and Trucy staring at me like a prodigal daughter who just returned home.

  Well I have been welcomed, fed and even freshen up yet all these while mom said nothing to me. The moment I stepped into the house and found the air icy, I knew right there that I was in for serious scolding from mom, probably some grounding too.

   "You know, mom, you ground me like for a month"

I mumbled, trying hard for her not to hear what I said but saying what I said was for her to hear it not the other way round.

  She glared at me then sighed"Natasha Martins, did I not raise you well?"

At the question, I froze in my spot, my mind went blank as if an ice cold water had been dumped on my head. This is not gonna end good, is it?

"Mom.. I.. I'm sorry I know...." I trailed off looking down avoiding eye contact with my mother but she grabbed me by the arm pulling me closer to her.

" I raised you well for you to turn badly. Your father might have left us early but I made sure you and Trucy had the best life. I made sure to have your time. I had always wanted to be more than mother to you. Why Natasha?"

   She questioned her voice soft yet filled with rage.

She squeezed her fingers around my arm so hard that I was scared she would break my bones which in truth she already has done once or twice before.

"Oh" Was all I managed to choke out then immediately regretted it.

"Oh!? Oh is that all you've got to say for yourself?". Her eyes were burning, her grip on my wrist tighter.

" Mom I... I didn't mean it".

Her hand loosened and she finally let me go. She took a step back away from me and placed her hands behind her back. Her stare was intense, her mouth set in a hard line with a hint of sadness lurking behind them.

  My face paled as she approached me again, the coldness returning when she cupped both sides of my jaw making me look directly at her eyes. She gave me a sad smile and pulled me into a tight hug, placing a kiss on my forehead as well as the top of my head. When she pulled away her voice sounded different" I love you very much but I have to tell you, this live you choose to live is not best for you. I can't have you going after girls. You are beautifully and wonderfully made."

I nodded not that I agreed with her. She is mad, only that she is trying to put up a false facade and for peace to reign I need to listen to her if not, this house will be too hot for me.

  "I am sorry, Mom. I know you are disappointed in me. Every mother will be and I try hard to make it up to you"

I said sadly.

"You better do, I can't have people pointing at Me and whispering behind my back that my daughter sleeps with girls"

She said sternly then let go off my jaw" I want you to go to your IG page and delete every rainbow post on it, only then will I know you are sorry.. Until the, I am still mad at you"

"But I...".

She gave me one more look then sighed and walked to the door. Once she reached the doorstep she turned and looked at me and added:" I will wait for an apology"

Then without uttering another word she walked out of the living room, leaving me with my thoughts.

   "I don't know how to say this but you have got to think and retrace your steps. Rainbow at the end of the day will leave you with just your shadow"

Trucy said, standing up and began walking of the living room.

I said nothing but to watch his diminishing back.

  "There is something a preeq does that fingers or dildo can't do, think about it"

He added,winked and finally left.

  I collapsed back on the couch, only if they know that they can't change who I am to suit their societal norms.

  My thoughts trailed and I remembered Jenny is missing. 

  "How could you be this heartless, Tasha?"

I asked with my eyes shut, the guilt I was feeling tripled and I was forced to pick my phone to dial her number. Her phone went into a voicemail which could only mean one thing, she is still missing.

  "My best friend is missing and I am less concerned about it. Is this how far I had gone into resenting her"

I wondered, searching through my contact for just one number.

   I found it and dialed it immediately, I bet he would be shocked to know that I am the one calling. The last person in the world he would be expecting to call him. He might not even pick at all.