Chapter 98

She did end up dancing for me again. Of course she did. 

She didn't even need alcohol to boost her confidence this time. She was doing it on purpose though, teasing me. Tempting me. Making me crave her touch but staying at a safe distance to ensure I couldn't reach out to her. But when she did come close enough I did just that, I pulled her closer. Then I did all the things I wasn't able to do the last time we had been there. I didn't care whether anyone was going to walk in on us and Layla seemed to have blown away caution to the very heated and steamy wind. All I had to do was touch her in all the right places and she was more than willing to cry out my name as she begged for what she really wanted. And I was glad that we had already crossed the boundaries because it meant we could go all the way and she wouldn't mind. 

I watched her dance, I watched her smile and laugh, I watched her moan and wriggle restlessly on the couch. There wasn't a thing she did that I didn't observe, my eyes refused to leave her. I'd trail her like a predator, a lion on the hunt. And when I finally struck for my kill she had been more than willing to surrender and give in. 

And it was one of those nights when she didn't want gentle, she didn't want those sweet and soft kisses. She didn't want to whimper, so I made her scream instead. 

And later on, she sat with her legs wrapped around my waist and her arms around my neck, waiting for her breathing to steady up a bit. 

" I don't like that girl!" She suddenly said, no humor in her tone. I leaned against the couch so as to get a better view of her face. Her once tied hair was now a wild and slightly tangled mass on her head. Some strands clung to her forehead and I pushed them back. 

" Which one?" 

" You know which one. "

Did I ? I thought for a while and recalled the girl that led us to that room, before walking out she had placed her hand on my arm and said I shouldn't hesitate to call her if there was ANYTHING I needed. I knew what she was implying but I had told her I was good. 

" What's wrong with her? She seems fine to me, " I stated, knowing that wasn't what Layla wanted to hear but saying it either way. This jealousy she was portraying was quite entertaining. And it meant that although she always tried not to show it, she did have a trait for possessiveness. 

" Don't pretend! She's the same one from last time. Why is she always looking at you like that? "

" Everyone looks at me like that.So do you, " 

She looked displeased and I felt very flattered.

She lowered her eyes to my chest as was her habit whenever she lacked the confidence to glance back at me, then she started tracing her fingertips on my skin. 

" Have you two ever....you know?"

I shrugged. 

" Maybe, maybe not, you honestly cannot expect me to recall everyone I've ever slept with, "

The reply was not appreciated and she was about to say something when I leaned down and captured her nipple between my teeth, grazing it slightly before I looked up at her with honesty imprinted in my eyes. 

" Don't turn this into another debate, please, " I asked of her because I was sure that was exactly where that conversation was heading to.

" I only remember you, and you can be sure there won't be anyone else to replace those memories. I don't want there to be anyone else. "

I knew it sounded deeper than the things I normally said, but I also knew that was what she wanted to hear. She needed the reassurance as who was I to deny her that? I couldn't even picture myself with another woman.

" Promise?" The innocence in her tone got me, the fear in her expression hurt me. And I realized that she was most likely never going to get over her insecurities. I had mine as well, if only she knew.

" Cross my heart, swear to die. You've broken me, I can't even think of anyone else now. "

" I like it that way, " she said. A shy smile on her face,then she leaned into my neck and kissed the skin there. 

" And you Layla? " I finally asked because I also needed to hear those words. I ran my hands up and down her back and she made a sound of approval from the back of her throat. Then she dug both hands into my hair and pressed her forehead to mine. The passion there was heavy, but the intimacy outweighed it. I once again caught glimpses of what I felt. 

It wasn't simply an obsession, it wasn't a craving. I saw what it was and my heart began to thud.

" I only want you. Whatever happens, I'll always want only you. "

The impact of those words was more than I had been prepared for. I had the validation, it was what I wanted,but instead of making me feel relieved all it did was implant fear within me. I hated not knowing how things would work out, I hated not having answers. 

I thought about the word she had used. Always. 

Always was a strong word, it implied time never-ending. We were basically admitting that we would both never be as connected to other people as we were to each other, that was a huge commitment. It was an even greater confession. But we didn't want to view it as the huge deal it actually was. We were living in a space we had created ourselves where we didn't really worry about what made sense and what didn't.

For instance, we didn't make sense. Because what were we? We were acting like the most sacred lovers yet we both willingly chose to hide from the truth. To push it to a remote and dark corner and never speak of it. 

To act as if it didn't exist because acknowledging its existence would lead to nothing good. 

I was content with how things were and I believed Layla was as well. 

" Tired?"I asked her and she shrugged. I was going to take her to Dahlia's tomorrow but it didn't have to be early, she could sleep in. We stayed there for a while longer, I had ordered her a non-alcoholic drink, and chuckled when she added a little of my whiskey in it, only for it to overpower the drink itself. 

" God! I can feel it in my nose!" She complained but she still drank it all and poured herself another one. I kept count, not willing to let her take more than three because I wasn't trying to be a bad influence where she was concerned. And I didn't want her to wake up tomorrow feeling horrible. It had happened the last time, I knew it had the same way I knew everything else that pertained to her. When we were finally ready to leave, I helped her get dressed and zipped up the jacket I had given her. She was wobbly on her feet, and once we were outside she stopped walking, her eyes half closed. She was definitely not sober, perhaps not completely drunk either but sober was out of the equation.

" Come on, I've got you, " I said as I lifted he off the ground and cradled her close to me. She finally let her eyes close. And it was in that state, drunk and dazed, that she had the courage to ask me something.

" Do you love me too?" 

It was a question directed more to herself than it was to me. I stopped to look at her, her breathing was even and she had gone limp in my hold. Asleep. 

And it was while she was in that state, unconscious and unable to hear me, that I had the courage to reply. 

🌼💮🌼💮🌼💮

" Morning, " Arden told me when I walked into the kitchen the following day. He was holding a mug of coffee in his hand and was already dressed as if ready to leave. He was spending less and less time in Seattle those days. 

" Morning, you're up early, "

" Yeah, I need to head out. Don't know when I'll be back. Want some?" he gestured to his coffee and I nodded. Then I looked over the counter and saw the small suitcase he had packed. 

" Where are you going?" 

He didn't reply immediately, then while he was handing me my coffee he said he was going home. 

" Home?" 

" Yeah, home. "

" What home?"

" My home, "

" Your home?"

" Dude, quit repeating what I say. I'm going to Russia, okay?" 

" Russia?!" He scoffed and gestured to the living room in an attempt to divert the conversation. Asking me something about the mysterious trumpet which I had managed to have my assistant buy and deliver to the house. Whoever said money wasn't always the solution clearly didn't have any. Not even the museum had been able to turn down my offer. 

I told him not to mind that, then I went back to the more crucial matter. I asked him why he was heading home all of a sudden. Without even having informed me .

" It wasn't planned, I literally just got the call from Cain. I don't know what's up but he told me it was urgent. "

I knew Cain, he was Arden's cousin and he took care of things back in Russia whenever Arden wasn't around. In my honest view, he had always been a bit envious of the bond Arden and I had. He must have wondered how we could be so close despite not being related, yet him and Arden only spoke when it was something business related. But he was diligent and even though we were only acquaintances I could tell he was just as hardworking and committed to his work as Arden was. 

" Are you taking the jet?" I asked him and said he was. 

" Why? You need it?"

" No, go ahead and take it, "

I actually did have plans to use it but Arden clearly needed it more. And it was no big hustle, like I said, money was always the solution. 

" I'm guessing you don't know when you'll be back, "

" Not sure. Could be a few days, maybe more. "

" I see, "

I asked him to tell me if anything urgent came up, and to call if he needed my help. I actually always tried to stay as far from his family business as I possibly could but I could interfere if he were in true danger. Otherwise, I liked it better if he kept his work to himself and discussed it more with his family. Not out of fear but rather out of boundaries. His parents had also always made sure that I never got involved. Even as a child they never wanted  me to be a target so they had taken all the necessary measures. His mom believed that their enemies would perhaps think I was their legitimate child since I had skent almost every holiday with them so they had been very cautious. 

And that wasn't a line of work for me. I preferred to keep things legal... mostly. But I also had nothing against what they did, they put a lot of work into it and I respected that.

" I didn't hear you guys come back last night, " Arden said and I told him we came back late. He had already been asleep. Which was understandable since he had had a long trip. He wasn't even well rested yet he was flying back again. I saw the bags under his eyes and grew concerned.

" You should sleep on your way there, " I advised and he smiled and gave me a curt nod. 

" You can hire me a private nurse if you wish. Payment for banging my wife, "

" She was never yours to begin with, "

" Whoa! " He put up his hands in a gesture of peace and laughed. 

" Careful there Gabriel, " he stated, his smile was gone. So was the humor, he had turned serious all of a sudden and I was curious as to why. 

" Hey, I hope that you're not messing around with her. I wasn't lying when I said that she's special, " 

" She's in good hands, " 

" Cool, just make sure she's always okay. You don't have the best background when it comes to women, "

" And you do?"

" Of course not, mine is bad as well. But we both know yours is  way worse. "

I asked him to stop worrying about Layla and focus more on his work problems. He clearly had a lot of them. 

" I'll tell her bye before I leave. Mom and dad will probably wanna know why I didn't take her along but I'll think of something before I get there. " I nodded and glanced at my watch. I also had to head out of town for a few hours, then I'd come back and take Layla over to Dahlia's because it was clear she wasn't going to do so herself. I stood and reminded Arden to call once he got there. Then I told him to pass my greetings to his parents and if they asked when I was planning on visiting they ought to tell them that Christmas wasn't that far along. 

" Travel safe, and try to keep away from the alcohol cabinet. "

" Yeah yeah, go paint your pride or something,"

" I already did that, sold quite well. "

He headed towards the living room while shaking his head and I left. Layla was still sleeping and I decided not to wake her. I'd sent her a text for when she woke up so that she wouldn't wonder where I had gone off to. I hoped Arden was going to wait till she woke up before he went to say his goodbyes as well. 

The more time passed the more I felt like I needed her. Before her,my work had been the only thing on my mind, it was what fueled me to go on. But since she came along things had changed. My driver had asked for a leave and I had decided not to find another. I could always drive myself, even though I preferred having one whenever I was taking care of business related things, and when I got into the driver's seat I took in a deep breath first and ran both hands over my face. If there had been doubt before then her question last night had erased it completely. That 'too' she had placed at the end of the question was all the proof I needed to know for certain. Of course I had known for quite a while now, she was the worst at hiding her feelings. 

But I hoped that when she woke up she wouldn't remember either the question or the answer I had been bold enough to give. And I hoped that she would never ask me the same thing again. It was better if those kinds of inquisitions were left in that same dark corner I had mentioned. If we ignored their existence and went on with how things had been going. 

With that in mind, I took off. 

I wanted to finish up quick so that I could return to her. 

And I was glad that the weekend was finally close because the surprise I had been planning for her was waiting. I had spent way too much time in that place and felt like I really needed a break, and so did she.