Chapter 146

"what are you still doing with him, has he not shown you enough?. Doctor Walter said, forgetting himself, he wanted to convince her so much to leave Andrew, since he was obviously not worth it.

"if I leave him, where will I go to? I know my mother said that she would  not let me go back there, but even if I go to my parents house, sooner than later, they will get tired of me, especially if I am not contributing financially to the house"

Doctor Walter laughed, he could relate with what she was saying, people were like that, you could never depend on them for too long.

when they don't see you, they miss you and when they see you too much, they become tired of you and want you as far away as possible.

"look I understand, but before they start getting tired of you, something might happen, something you don't expect"

"please I don't need surprises in my life right now, I have had enough of them.

"for your sake and for the sake of these children, please leave his house for him, if he is the one you want, if he misses you too much, he will come looking for you"

"what do you mean by if he is the one I want, offcourse he is the one I want"

"hat if you had the chance to be with someone else, won't you take it?

"well, I don't know about that, I haven't known any other man other than my husband and mistakenly my gynecologist.

"why do you keep referring to him as a mistake, does it mean, you hate him that much?

"I hate the thought of him, I hate his name, I hate how I stupidly fell for him, I hate everything about him. 

if I had the chance to kill him, I would not hesitate one seconds.

"you mean you don't even wish he was alive?

"No,  I don't wish for him to be alive, I am actually glad that he is dead.he is a coward, and that was why he embraced death the moment it came, it was his first root of  escaping a huge responsibility.

"you are really angry at him, even after his death, bit let me tell you what he was able to tell me when he was alive in the prison.

He told me that, he did what he did to revenge against Andrew, but he never knew he was working against himself, Because, he fell inlove with you instead.

Did he ever tell you he loved you? He asked, as he watch her grow silent and there was guilt all over her.

"yes he did, severally, but I didn't give him the chance to even say it again, I guess I was too angry with him, blaming him for everything, when I'm the real person that should be blamed here.

I should have said No to him, I could have said No, I had all the chances to say No, yet I chose to say yes and let him do what he wanted with me.

Doctor Walter felt it was his opportunity to speak on Joseph's behalf.

"He really and truly loved you, he never stopped, even before he took his last breath, he spoke your name, he was happy he fell inlove, he never thought he could fall inlove, but one thing about love is that it finds you even when you are not looking for it. It comes knocking on your door, when you are probably busy with someone else, or something else.

love is beautiful and it is indeed crazy.

I kept wondering why he was still saying he loves you when it was not reciprocated, I mean I can see now that you don't like him let alone loving him.

you also don't seem to love yourself because if you do, you cannot be telling me you don't have a place to be, just because you are not doing anything that can give you financial aid.

let me tell you some truth about love.

The truth about love is you can’t ignore it. I know this because I’ve tried myself. I’m not just talking about romantic love; I’m talking about these four topics:

– Loving yourself first

– Falling in love with a significant other

– Giving love to the world

– Knowing how to receive love

A friend of a friend, named Mark Lack, shocked me a few weeks ago. He said on his TV show that he wanted to share one secret with his business audience that was the best advice you’ll ever hear. I’m naturally on the edge of my seat ready to write down some online business hack that could make me millions.

Mark said,

“Nothing in your life matters, but one thing: how much love you give and how much love you receive. Love is the only thing in life that matters.”

It’s not just Mark that is spreading this message. This message is coming from entrepreneurs consistently now who’ve made it, climbed to the top of the mountain and figured out that love is all there is.

You’d think after two failed relationships within twelve months and a massive heartbreak I’d know that by now. So stop chasing fame, money, cool friends, parties or whatever else is distracting you from this one thing: love.

You can’t avoid it and instead, should embrace it. Love has so much power once you move out of thinking it’s uncool, and into a place of understanding. There is, however, two rules you must follow to play the game of love and get the benefits.

Rule One: Sacrifice

Love will not happen for you my friend unless you are prepared to sacrifice. If the benefits of love were so easy to obtain, we’d all be drinking the Kool-Aid by now and stop numbing our pain with food, drugs and alcohol.

The sacrifice I’m talking about is the biggest one you can make: give your entire life to love. In practical terms this doesn’t mean you go join some hippie cult; it means you must choose love in every situation.

Someone cuts you off, choose love; someone pisses on your front door, choose love; someone cuts in front of you at the grocery store and makes you late for work, choose love. It’s freaking hard work to choose love every day.

In romantic relationships, you’re going to have to get used to the good and the bad. No one is going to meet all of your requirements. You are going to have to do some things you don’t want to do that hurt like hell and are the opposite of what you believe. That’s plain bad luck because if you want the joy of living in a place of love with another person, that’s what it takes.

Rule Two: Compromise

If sacrifice had a sibling, it would be compromise. To enjoy a world of love you have to be prepared to negotiate on what you are willing to settle for. This is really hard for us entrepreneurs because we think we can negotiate our way out of every situation.

The trouble with love is that it only enters your life when you’re ready. The warrior who is ready to experience true love in their life knows that compromise is a must.

Loving yourself first

The beauty of love has come and gone so many times in my own life until I recently had a significant realization: you have to love yourself first. Before love can enter your life, you have to first love yourself. This is not some Kama Sutra spiritual junk, this is real.

Many of us go through life experiencing so much pain because we don’t love ourself. We have to love ourself the way we would love a romantic partner. We have to be able to look ourselves in the eye and know that we’re freaking awesome the way we are.

“If you lack love in your life, it’s because you haven’t started with you”

I read a book the other day about this entrepreneur who lost the one thing he loved: his company. Shortly after, he lost his romantic partner and everything else that he perceived to be good in his life.

He ended up at rock bottom and very sick. What got him out of this hellish nightmare was getting up every day and telling himself out loud one phrase: “I love myself! I love myself! I love myself!”

This seemingly stupid habit made his brain finally believe that he was enough and that he was special the way he is. This gentleman has now rebuilt his life and can be seen in rooms giving speeches about how he now loves himself, and repeats that phrase every day, so he doesn’t forget.

Key Action:

Every morning for a week, look at one of your eyes in the mirror and repeat the phrase “I love myself” for five minutes a day.

At night, put on a hypnotic piece of music that goes for around five minutes. Close your eyes, and repeat to yourself in your head or ideally out loud “I love myself” over and over.” If you want a recommendation for a good piece of music, then try the Gladiator Theme Song from the movie.

Falling in love with a significant other

You can’t ignore having someone to spend your life with, whom you truly love. Maybe you’re in a relationship and you don’t love the person, or maybe you are single and haven’t got anyone at all. The reality is that you must sort out this part of your life.

You cannot go on forever without solving this riddle. Loving someone other than yourself requires you to take lots of risks, and the chances are that you’re going to fail a lot. In fact, finding that one person is like doing a startup; failure is predictable, guaranteed and full of valuable lessons.

Our brain is programmed through evolution to find another human being and settle down at some point. Don’t fool yourself and try to postpone this rule of love forever. You’ll end up miserable if you do. Be strong, have courage and love like you’ve never been hurt before.

Giving love to the world

This is where things get interesting. Many of us are not giving any love (or hardly any) to the world around us. By not giving love to all those around you, you deprive yourself of some of the best happiness that exists on the planet.

When you’re down, and you give love, you get to focus your brain on all the abundance that exists. Selfishness is what causes us pain and makes us unfulfilled. Turn the spotlight away from you and onto someone other than yourself.

There’s so much beauty to be seen when you give love. Giving love brings out the best in those you give it to. Giving love generates more smiles and fewer haters. Giving love is what makes the world go round and continue existing.

If we all hated each other, then we’d nuke the heck out of one another and nobody would be left. What stops this event from occurring is the fact there is more love, than evil on our planet. Love is the currency you want to adopt.

Key Action:

I want you to try an experiment to see if this whole giving love thing works. Give a brand new pair of shoes away to a homeless person — the more expensive, the better the result. Don’t pretend like you don’t have any because we all have a pair of shoes lying around that we haven’t worn yet and probably don’t need.

The purpose of this exercise is to show yourself how good it is when you come from a place of love when you’re not being asked to. The results will speak for themselves. Try it! If I’m wrong, I’ll give you a 100% money back guarantee like those 90’s infomercials.

Knowing how to receive love

Over the last few months, I’ve experienced a few struggles and people have been there to offer acts of love. I’ve been lousy at accepting this love, and I’ve realized that it’s a double edge sword. You can’t give love and then refuse to receive any back.

“By shutting off your ability to receive love, you force yourself to do the hard times alone”

This, in turn, makes you lonely, which makes you feel like crap, which becomes a downward spiral. It’s especially hard for blokes to receive love because we somehow think we’re too big and strong to ever need a helping hand.