Chapter 8

How do you ask a guy who looks really angry what your part was in making him so angry?. He's looking at me like he might spot fire at me any moment from now. I see the array of fried chicken and chips, a smoothie, and some glass mug all on the floor. Some of it even managed to get on him. "Did I bump into you?" I ask and he just shoots me a deadly glare. I sincerely don't remember bumping into anyone. "Help him up" a woman behind me says and I extend a hand towards him, very carefully though, he looks like he might just bite it instead of  using it to get back up. He does take it though, but what he does next surprises me.

I feel a really strong arm grab mine and as he hoists himself up, he throws me into the sticky goo of what I think is a mixture of spilt smoothie and murky water. The feel of landing like a wooden doll in ice cold water makes me open my eyes wide. What the hell??. I look up and see him regarding me with what I think is a look of disgust, then he turns back and leaves, ketchup stains standing out against the white of his shirt.

The sight of him walking away, back turned, and me in the mud makes me want to cry. I find out I've been doing that a lot the past two days. Everyone passing stops to  stare and I can't imagine myself looking anymore pitiful. Crying would only make me look even more misrable than I already am. Telling myself to get up, I brace a palm on the floor to use as support in standing. A shiny white car pulls up, just beside where I was about to gather enough dignity to get up. The tinted black glass winds down and I come face to face with Aron.

He's wearing a sympathetic smile, looking at me like I'm something to be pitied. His new girl laughs at the site of me and I can see his smile eventually begin to broaden. "I'm sorry Arya, it's just, you look ridiculous right now". That voice that once brought me joy whenever I heard it nearby, the baritone that said it would love me forever. The way his eyes glint mockingly makes me lose every bit of strength I'd pulled up. With a splash, I crash back into the puddle. Aron only looks at me smiling. "Pity it had to end this way" he says getting the car into gear and driving away.

I so desperately hope the water from this puddle sliding down my face helps to hide the tears I know are dropping. The sobs that escape me makes me want to kill myself. Why are you still so hurt Arya. Why can't you pull yourself together and stop making a fuss, why must you always make a scene. Why can't you just let go of these feelings?. Those feelings of pain, of shame, of a broken heart. You've been there before Arya, then why can't you just let it go. Getting up from the puddle is easy now, the stares of confused people follow me. I know the picture I paint. Broken, neglected, unwanted. It's not the first time though. It'll surely be the last.