Chapter 22

I'm in front of the class now and I feel like going back home. I lied when I said it was only Aron's friends that would be attending this class. He himself is in there. If I walk in now, I'm going to have to face him and his little army, and I'm going to have to face them alone.

The pain and emptiness of that night comes rushing back with even more force. It's stronger now and I don't know why. Maybe it's because he tried to publicly humiliate me in front of the whole school. Or the fact that he'd flaunting his new girlfriend right in my face, or maybe it's because of how much I love him. How much I still love him.

Of all the heartbreaks I've had I'm sure this is the one that has broken me the most. Memories of pleasant laughter and the feeling of having Aron with me haunts my mind. If I go in there, I'm not sure I'll be able to keep this mask I've worn on for much longer. I'm afraid I'll cry and he'll truly see how  weak I am, and how much he's truly hurt me.

He'll see that I still need him, that I miss him. It's barely been two days and yet, I feel like a part of Me has been ripped away. It's like my heart is mourning and pumping gallons of pure pain right into my system. I don't want to face Aron today, I don't want to face him ever. I don't want him to know how much he meant to me, how much he still means to me.

It would show me as weak and insignificant in his eyes. The halls are empty and I'm sure there's no teacher in the class. The cheering of students inside the classroom informs me that the test hasn't started yet, and so the horny teenagers are finding another way to keep themselves busy. Why didn't I see it all this time?. How could I have been so utterly fooled into believing that Aron actually loved me. He was a good actor no doubt. I remember the way his smile would come easily whenever he was with me.

He made me feel special. He made me feel like I was something worth protecting. He made me feel loved. I laugh ruefully at this. Did Aron actually ever love me. I like to believe that he did, but the pressure from his friends got to him. Sure he loved me those first few months, we were everything to each other. Then he gained popularity as all handsome boys do and suddenly I started feeling his hands linger around my waist. I started seeing the hunger that loomed in his eyes whenever he was near me. When I looked in those eyes before I saw myself being his most prized possession, but later I became an object in his eyes. I thought it was due to the fact that we were still on a friend zone, so I agreed to start dating him.

I loved him that much.

Now I see it was never about that at all.