Chapter 85

It seems the delighted smile that Scott is giving me, is his way of letting me know this, is his hand work. All this has been planned specifically by him, and I freaking want to scream at him.

Why would he do this to me?, why would you choose to fuck me up in such a way. Have I not been good enough to him ever since we had been brother and sister, Have I not been nice enough to him as a sister, and always treated him well.

Why does he have to mess up my life at this particular moment?. In time it seems he notices my trepidation, and he smiles at me entrancingly, the glimmer of mischief in his eyes all too obvious.

Eras looks at the both of us, like we were acting some sort of stage play. I couldn't even bring my eyes to meet his. I was so nervous, like I was a sinner in church.

I couldn't bring my eyes to meet that of the golden haired boy, who I had developed such a liking for, but yet I had practically abandoned in the cafeteria, and now I was with another guy in a restaurant.

I can only imagine what is going on behind the calm cool smile he wore on his face. What must he think of me, what must he be thinking of me right now.

I can't seem to say I have made such an impression on Eras, that would assure him of exactly what sort of person I was, but yet I find myself stopping in the middle of my train of thought, to ask myself exactly why am I thinking like this?.

Isn't this exactly what Scott wants me to feel. He wants me to be nervous enough, and feel guilty that I had come to this place with another guy.

He knew all too well that Eras was here, but yet he had given me the name of this place when I had asked for it.

It strikes me as a realisation now that my brother has actually not done anything wrong. I asked for something and he gave it to me, all the fault was on my part. I was the one stupid enough to bring a stunningly beautiful guy along.

I'm the one stupid enough to be feeling guilt over nothing in particular. I don't think I have any sort of relationship with Eras, well, we are friends but I think that's where it ends.

There is no sort of commitment between the both of us, and I think that is exactly what I repeat again and again to myself, as I try to calm the trepidation that has formed in my guts, and still the racing of my heart.

I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm not anything anything that should make me feel guilty, there is no relationship between any of us, there is no relationship between me and Eras, there is no relationship between me and Clay. There is simply nothing between us, and so there's nothing to hide. Buy why do I feel so nervous???.