Chapter 105

It seems the word reverberates in my heart over and over again, but it simply has no meaning to me.

It makes no sense what he's saying to me, and I'm sure it would have made no sense to everybody else.

"You are sorry?" I say, the question coming out like I was unsure of what I heard myself. His eyes hold deep embarrassment and sorrow as he gazes into mine. The pools of warm brown are liquid with emotion now, as he gazes back at me with the sort of intensity that would have made a normal person melt.

There is no doubt that Aron is strikingly handsome, not that sort that makes you think he's just handsome, but that he's stunning in and of himself, but yet I find myself looking past all that.

I find myself looking past all those signals that seem to make me want to so easily believe in him.

"I'm really sorry" I hear him say, his voice coming out deep and serious. My breath seems to have caught in my throat, as I swallow a gulp of air furiously, and then the next one, and the next, and I just keep on going after that.

It seems that is the only thing that I can do at this point, i breathe so heavily my heart wants to pop out.

"Exactly what are you sorry for?" I ask, the thing with Aron is that if you can make something hard enough for him to do, he simply gives up on it.

That is exactly what I expect to happen in this situation, he's telling me he's sorry but I don't know exactly what he's sorry for. The faint possibility that he could actually be telling me he's sorry for all the pain he has caused me this past four days is flashing through my mind, but yet I did not want to believe it.

I do not want to believe that fact so easily.

"Exactly what are you sorry for?" I say, raising my tone so I can at least sound more intimidating than I did before.

"I'm sorry for everything, Okay!!" The retort comes out forced, and I can feel exactly the sort of Turmoil he's in right now.

"You are sorry for everything of what exactly?, What are you sorry for Aron?. Don't tell me you are sorry for possibly wanting to ruin my life, don't tell me you're sorry for dumping me because I didn't agree to do something I hadn't prepared myself for yet, you're sorry???. I don't know what you're sorry for, so your sorry is meaningless to me. It holds no meaning, and holds no weight. It doesn't affect me any bit that you are sorry".

My words seem to come out a bit faster than I should have wanted, and I realise that it is the pain in me that makes me speak in this way.

It is the pain that I felt at Aron's rejection of me to go for another girl that is leaking out so obviously in my voice.

It is the same pain that I had felt after each and every break up, and I am pouring it all out now, with just a little bit of anger added into it.