Chapter 251

The rest of the ride is in silence and I wonder why this is taking so long. I wonder why it is taking so long for us to get home. It is annoying. I find it infuriated just sitting next to him right now and I'm guessing that it's better judgement that makes me resist from lashing out at him.

You would think that with the sort of things that we have been through together, okay we haven't really been through anything together, but still we have both experienced our parents deaths. He's my brother for crying out loud, he's supposed to trust me more than this.

Okay, sure I wasn't there for him before but I'm trying to be here now, and he's still acting all secretive, he's still acting like he still can't fully trust me and it pains me, it pains me more than I can imagine and it is taking all my willpower, it is taking every bit of strength in me not to simply scream at him and shake him.

While Scott is a few inches taller than me now, he isn't as wide as Clay or Eras, but still he's a man. He is a guy and I think it will be inappropriate for me to carry out such an action and so I can do nothing else but simply sit down and allow my anger cook on inside me.

"Are you angry?" He asks and I nod my head curtly.

"I'm very very angry".

You would think that with the way I replied, he would simply give me something of a smile and then we would joke about it for the next few minutes or so until we dropped, but his face simply falls. It falls in such a downcast and uncommon way that I feel mortified at it. I feel like I have just broken something very delicate in him and I doubt that is the aim of my anger, but still a little part of me smiles at this.

A little part of me smiles at the fact that he is also feeling sad at this, well I can't say that I can arrange my emotions right now. I'm still reeling from the effects of Clay's and my discussion this afternoon, and now this is happening.

Now Scott is being secretive, so secretive that I cannot even fathom exactly what is making him be like this. I'm guessing that it's really too much for me to handle.

"I'm sorry" i say to him and he shakes his head.

"It is not really your fault so what are you sorry about?".

"But why can't you tell me what is bugging you?" I ask again and he shakes his head once more. That simple shake of his head which signifies that he isn't ready. He is not ready to tell me, and if I say and not hurt, then I'm getting down.

This bus is still moving and I can't possibly do that and I cringe at this. Maybe i would have felt less hurt if i did.