Th_omas

" How about we help each other?" He says and I look up at him, eyes still wet from the tears streaming down my cheeks, heart freshly broken from the public humiliation and betrayal that was Lucas's breakup. I can faintly make out the first droppings of snow floating magically under the light of the street lamps. It's that time of the year, a time for wool coats, a time for relaxing, none of which I'll be doing. "I'm an orphan with a wicked aunt and a boyfriend who left her because she has nothing to her name, how could I possibly help you?" I say another sob escaping my lips. "Marry me" he replies and my eyes widen in anger. Is he mocking me?. I look into the eyes of this stranger and see he's dead serious. "I need a wife, you need a home, marry me and you'll have all you want". I nod.

A Snowy Marriage (A Christmas agreement)

It seems I come back to my senses at least five minutes after I was still wrapped in Adrian's hug, and the shock that overcomes me is palpable.

It is the sort of living shock that you would actually be able to feel as it goes through your veins. It's made me appalled at the fact that my mind had been straying so far and wide at someone who i jad barely known for a week, and yet I don't think I'm angry at myself.

I'm not angry at myself for feeling the way I do, I'm not angry for reacting the way I react, because it just proves that I am normal. It tells me that I am human, and so I have urges. Simple.

I release myself from the hug with a sort of shy smile.

"Thank you" I say, and he shrugs like it's nothing. But it's not nothing. This is probably going to be the second time that I am breaking down in the few days I have been here.

Is this how I will continue breaking down at a moment's notice and expect him to always tolerate it, is this how I will keep on breaking down at a moment's notice and expect him to always comfort me, is this how I will keep on portraying my weakness so blindy in front of him, is this the same way I will go on knowing a breakdown in front of probably a hundred people that are looking for a weakness to exploit.

It makes me angry and sad at myself, that I cannot seem to get over my parents deaths. The grief from their deaths still sticks to me like tar on a road, or grease on a pan. It makes me feel slimy and slick all over, but it also keeps me reminded of their presence.

I think I have the faint feeling that if I was to ever lose sight of the grief I carry that there were gone, then I would lose them completely.

"Are you angry at me?" I surprisingly find myself asking Adrian. The only look he carries on his face is one of concern, and I seem to think it is concern over tye fact if he had actually made the right decision.

My mind tells me that he is still considering the fact that he has made a mistep in actually bringing me here. I can't go on crying like this and feeling so sad for each and everything that has happened in my life, I need to be stronger.

I need to become stronger for him, I need to become stronger for his parents, if any experience I have had so far of the winter games has taught me anything, it has only gone to show me that this is a place where strength prevails, although I do not see any of that strength in his eyes.

The look in Adrian's eyes is only that of concern, I don't think people, strong people show those types of emotion, but I'm pretty sure Adrian is really strong.

He might be the strongest person I have ever seen, and so I find myself asking the question "Why are you like this??".

Chapter 75