"Is there anything the matter, Aderyn?" I hear a voice ask, as I snap out of my self derogatory daze. I look to see Adrian and Arden both staring at me with a concerned look In their eyes. It seems they have been calling my name for some time now, but I have given them no answer as I have simply been staring into space. I wonder how long I have been doing that, and I wonder just how they might see me.
I wonder if Adrian is thinking or doubting if he's made the right decision by bringing me here?. I wonder if he's entertaining the fact that he should have left me to continue with my wrecked real life, instead of bringing me to this place, which by some standards would seem so much worse, but which I prefer a whole lot more to the life I led before.
I think my thoughts show in my eyes, as Adrian gives me a look I can't place. "Don't ever think like that" he says, and I wonder if these guy I'm stuck with is normal by any standards. If I can read people well, then Adrian can read me even better, as he seems to know exactly what is going on in my mind whenever I lapse into silence similar to this.
It would seem years ago that we both stood on that bridge, looking at the water's churning below, as we laid out our hearts problems to each other. I told him everything from the parents I have tried so much to forget, and the pain that seems to follow me wherever I go.
I told him everything about my life, and each and every little bit of pain and satisfaction I have ever endured. I told him about Lucas, and how he has betrayed me. I told him about how I felt I hadn't done the right thing by refusing his requests.
The thought actually occurred to me that if I had accepted Lucas's request, things might have been a bit better for me right now. I wouldn't be here in this hell of a place. I would be his Savior, my Lucas's prized possession. He would always remember the price I had to pay for his success, we would have our house, and 16 kids, and we would live happily ever after.
I burst out laughing at this. I'm not such a fool to believe such a thing could ever happen. I have Known Lucas for probably as much as I'd ever decided to know anybody else in my life. My life was formerly restricted to father, mother, and School, but as I got to know Lucas, I found out if I was ever going to know any other person in such a way, I'd want to know each and everything about them.
I doubt the fact that Lucas would have wanted me after he had used me to achieve his goals, and that said, I think this place is a lot better than what ever else could have happened.
"I'm okay" I say looking at the eyes of two concerned people. All that is in the past now, this is the present, and we need to take some action. These two people are what matter to me right now, them and the way they seem to instantly love and care about me. That sort of thing is rare, even for people who seem to have no hearts.