Chapter 72

The three priests gathered one evening in front of the church to chitchat as they munched on some fruits the villagers had given them as gifts. After their causerie and bouts of jokes and laughter, Paul suddenly grew sober and said,

"Something has been bothering me for the past month."

"What?" Vincent asked.

"Is having sex in the dream right?" He asked with a worried look on his face.

Vincent and Gideon confused exchanged looks. 

"What do you mean? Gideon asked. 

"I have been seeing myself having sex in the dream with two women. Although, I have never seen their faces, they have the sexiest body I've ever seen. These women have sex with me every night until I'm very exhausted...and they end up drinking my semen."

Both priests were surprised. 

"For how long has this been happening?" Vincent asked.

"Over a month now." Paul answered.

"Do you still pray?" Vincent asked.

"Well, I'll be honest; ever since I started having this dream, my prayer life has dwindled greatly.  I forget to pray before I sleep and when I wake up, I'm too tired and reluctant to pray after the dream." Paul answered.

"What do you do at night before you sleep that makes you forget to pray?" Asked Vincent.

Paul scratched his head now, averting his gaze to the oranges on the tray, placed on the small stool in their center. "Urm...please don't judge me, but I'll be very honest. I actually go through pornography magazines."

"Really?" Gideon asked, amused. "I thought you gave up on that years ago."

"Yes, I did...but it suddenly started again a few days before we were posted to this village. I was packing up when I stumbled upon some old magazines at the bottom of my shelf, and ever since then, I find them irresistible. I go through the magazines every night before I sleep. It's now like a norm for me now."

Vincent sighed. "Then, that's your problem, Paul. You need to stop if you really want to stop having those dreams. Seeing pornography magazines opens you to attacks from the devil."

"Stop? You think that I've not tried? You make it sound so easy, but so you know, I've been battling with the addiction of pornography for the past fifteen years now and you think that I've not tried to stop it? It's like this thing has a mind of its own, because every time, I try to stop it, I only end up going back to it and I don't know why that keeps happening. Though I get an erection from seeing all the nude women, but that's all there is to it. I don't even masturbate to it. I just get off from watching their body parts.  Besides, I never had such dreams before, they only started two weeks after I got into this village."

"Have you ever had sex before?" Gideon asked Paul.

"No, I've not really had sex before." He murmured with a nervous look on his face now.

"Which one is not really? It's either yes or no. Who knows, maybe you are just longing to have it again." Gideon said.

"I'm not longing for sex, Gideon, I know myself. You two won't understand, but my addiction to pornography only got worse two years after I joined the seminary as a teenager."

"What do you mean? Was it because you hardly saw the opposite sex after you got into the seminary?" Vincent asked.

"No..." Paul swallowed hard now, the veins appearing on his forehead as he battled with something within him. "I've never told anybody this before, but I was raped and abused in the seminary."

The two other priests gave him a shocked look now.

"Raped?" Gideon asked. "How's that even possible? Women are usually rape victims. Who rapes a guy?"

Vincent swallowed hard and tried to compose himself at Gideon's words.

"That was what I thought until it happened to me!" Said Paul, "I was lured one night to the secluded part of the seminary by a priest who told me that he wanted me to help him harvest some corn from the cornfield. When I got there, I had no idea that three other bigger boys were already waiting there. They ambushed me, shoved me to the ground, stuffed a smelly sock into my mouth so that I couldn't scream, pinned me down on my belly on the ground, then forced my shorts down my legs.

I screamed out to the priest to help me, but all he did was get down on his knees behind me, between my legs which had been held open; he then shoved some Vaseline into my anus then raped me. I cried for days but I was warned never to speak a word about it to anyone or they would do something much worse to me and have me expelled from the Seminary.

 I couldn't sit nor walk properly for days, and besides the bleeding, all I felt was severe pain. Just when I was beginning to pull myself together and put that horrible experience behind me, I was ambushed again while I had remained in the dormitory from being sick and was raped a second time by this same priest.

Just then, I made up my mind that I was leaving the seminary for good! But before that could even happen, the priest was arrested a few days later. He had tried to force a newcomer whom unknown to him was asthmatic. When the boy was also ambushed and his mouth stuffed with a sock, he had a seizure and died on the spot.

 The arrest of the priest and his gang was the end of my harassment and torment. Although, after the incident of being raped a second time, I was really depressed and traumatized and I began to doubt my sexual preference. It was as if I now saw boys in a different way and it disturbed me greatly.

 I certainly didn't want to have to even have the thought of ever being sexually attracted to the same sex. I soon had no choice than to return to my old habit of perusing porn magazines so that I'd know if I was still attracted to the opposite sex or not. And in order to prove that I was still a straight man, I kept secretly buying more and more magazines."

"Wow!" Gideon exhaled. "Such a thing happened to you and you kept it to yourself all these years?"

"What was I to do? How was I to tell someone else what the priest did to me? What if they were also working with him?  I was so messed up that I almost thought that hurting some other boy to the way I had been hurt would make me feel better, but I was wrong! That man left me with a physical and psychological scar and I hope he keeps rotting in prison." Paul stated angrily.

"You went through a lot... I understand your addiction." Vincent said. "But what I don't understand is what's there to prove if we are never going to have sex with the opposite sex nor get married?"

"Well, at least, I know what my preference is, but the addiction is already taking its toll on me, and now, the dreams." Paul wearily answered.

"Well, I think yours is better." Gideon began.

"How so?" Paul asked.

"At least, you are not physically being tormented... Just two weeks ago, I returned from the bathroom and found a strange girl on my bed despite the fact that the door was locked." Gideon said.

"How did she get in then?" Paul asked, puzzled and interested to know more.

"Honestly, I've no idea how she did. It also baffled me." Gideon replied.

"What girl?" Vincent asked.

"One of the princess' friends. The one with the dimples."

"I believe that's Ifede." Vincent answered.

"Right... Whatever her name is... She was in my room." He stated as if bragging about it.

"And what did she say she wanted?" Asked Paul.

"Why else would a girl sneak into a man's room? She wanted me to have sex with her of course! You should have heard the way she was almost begging for it. She was already stripping off her clothes before I could say jack!" Gideon said.

"She told you that to your face?" Paul asked, astonished. "That she wanted to have sex with you?!"

"Yes...do you think that I'm just making this up? Who would have thought that these uneducated village girls could also be bold? They really have it in them o."

"Well, what did you say to her?" Vincent asked. "Please tell me that you declined."

"Well...I didn't decline neither did I oblige her offer, but guy, you should have seen how endowed this girl was when she bared her breasts to me. And boy o boy..." He gave a long whistle. "... those mounds were the perkiest and roundest that I've ever seen."

Paul chuckled. "So, you were tempted, weren't you?"

"Why not? Am I not a man? I'm a priest, not a Eunuch."

"Were you doing something before she came?" Vincent asked in suspicion now. "I don't trust the princess and her friends and I suspect that they are doing all they can to ensnare us."

"Well, I had masturbated that night though..." Gideon said with a shrug, not feeling remorse since he considered it to be a normal thing. "She claimed that she sensed what I had done from afar...but I do not believe her... I've always known that that girl has a thing for me." He said cockily. "And I have a strong conviction that she'll be back. This girl is ready to make things between us a secret."

"And you are going to break your oath of chastity just to sleep with her?" Vincent asked, appalled.

"I didn't say so yet. Please, don't put words in my mouth." Gideon grumbled.

"Well, if you will take my advice, I think it's best if you two stop whatever sinful thing you keep indulging in, pray more and study the Bible more...quit this addiction as soon as possible, please..." Vincent gently said. "This habits of yours will only spell doom for you if you continue in it and there's a high possibility that it will only lead you to commit greater sin and when you get comfortable in your iniquity, it will be hard to turn back to God. Confess your sins to the Parish Priest, do whatever penance he gives you and pray more so that you can overcome whatever temptation is happening to you. You might think it's fun for now, but in the long run, it's actually dangerous."

"Coming from someone who would be the first to break his oath of chastity, I'll rather do my masturbation in peace!" Gideon hissed.

"Excuse me?" Vincent took off his glasses, sitting up. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You think we haven't noticed what has been going on for the past two months between you and that girl, Vincent?" Paul asked now. "We see you and that Ewatomi girl all the time. In fact, you barely have time to sit with us anymore because of her. You are only here because she just left an hour ago."

"But you two should understand that I'm only winning souls which is our primary assignment. I teach her how to read and then study the Bible with her, that's all." Vincent explained.

“Abeg (please), don't even go there..." said Gideon in doubt. "We are not babies. We can see very well and we have not failed to notice the way you look at her and smile at her. That your smile is not always normal abeg."

Paul chuckled now. "E remain small, na to carry the girl enter room give am belle. (What is left is to take the girl into your room and impregnate her.)"

Vincent stared at his friends in displeasure. "Wait, you two think that I'm sexually attracted to Ewatomi?"

"Not just sexually..." Said Gideon. "In fact, sexually attracted to her is an understatement; Vincent Dike Nduka, you are in love with that girl! Admit it!"

Vincent frowned. "In love? That's a total misconception. I don't know where you two drew your conclusions from but I'll be glad to correct them now. I feel absolutely nothing for that girl. We are just friends and the only relationship existing between us is the proper relationship that should exist between a priest and a member."

Paul flinched his mouth at Vincent. "We look like cows to you, right? Be deceiving yourself o. When the inevitable temptation comes knocking, we'll be here to remind you and tell you that we told you so."

"Well, I don't think anything like that is ever going to happen. You two have got to deal with your dirty thoughts and stop assuming things. I have nothing whatsoever to do with Ewatomi besides what we show you in the open, and that is to study, read, discuss the scriptures and pray. If you wish to confirm this, when next you see her, please ask her."

"So, are you saying that the thought to kiss her has never for once crossed your mind?" Paul asked with a sly smile.

Vincent swallowed hard and hesitantly answered. "I don't know."

Paul laughed. "I've been with you for long to know that you only say those words when you don't want to tell the truth or tell a lie, Vincent" Paul pointed out. "My gut tells me that if the opportunity comes knocking, you'll jump at it without the slightest hesitation."

"Well, you two should stop assuming things already. I'm here to take my work seriously and not do otherwise." Said Vincent.

"Just like you are taking that girl seriously, abi?" Paul winked.

"Do you know we might be queried if anyone passes by and hears our conversation?" Vincent warily asked, actually trying to change the topic.

"This is evening... There's no one here but us, so just loosen up already, Mr. Saint." Gideon said. "You always act like you are the perfect one and nothing can ever get to you. You make other priests who are trying so hard to adhere to the right thing, look bad."

"Well, I'm sorry if I've done that in anyway, but I can assure you that it's not intentional." Vincent apologized.

"I wonder how you still manage to stand firm despite knowing that you attract women like flies to a mango. We all know that you have always been the ladies' man, Vincent, and wherever we go, the women are always all over you, but what baffles me is how you have been able to resist the princess! I won't deny it, that girl makes me have an erection anytime I see her, I don't know how she does it, it just happens." Gideon said.

"Perhaps, you have to control your thoughts around her." Vincent suggested. "You might only be reacting from whatever thoughts you keep in your head about her."

"Control?" Paul asked. "Vincent, this has nothing to do with controlling one's thoughts. Kikelomo is like a sex magnet. I on the other hand, fall in love with her every single time I see her on my way, but once I've given her enough distance, the feeling fades. Amongst us, you have had more privilege to spend some time with her; haven't you noticed how sexually effective and commanding her presence is?"

"No, I've never experienced anything as such. I'm surprised that you two are even saying this."

Just then, an altar boy approached them and greeted them. Then he turned to Vincent and held out a letter towards him. "Father Vincent, you have a letter."

Vincent took the letter from the boy, thanked and dismissed him. When he saw that the sender of the letter was the bishop who had been a mentor and father to him for years, he excused himself from his fellow priests and moved off to a corner to read it and it actually contained the news about the mysterious death of his stepmother.

 Vincent never hidden anything from the bishop and he decided that he was going to write a letter concerning Ewatomi and his supposed feelings about her to the bishop. At least, if he couldn't admit the truth to the other priests that he had longed developed feelings for Ewatomi, then he could tell the bishop, especially because he never judged him and he always gave great advice like a father would. He made up his mind that he would leave no detail out, even Ewatomi's weird story of being a mermaid.