Chapter60: don't you want the kiss anymore.

Alex puked all his guts out in the bathroom. I ran back to the bedroom and poured water in the glass and went back to give it to him. 

"Had you eaten before you drunk?"I asked him because this is a reason he is puking. He shook his head and I held my hands akimbo on my waist. I can't believe this guy. He's the one preaching to me about eating before drinking any sort of alcohol but here he is doing the opposite of what he tells me." I'm mad right now but we'll deal with you later after you eat something."I said then I got out of the bathroom leaving him there but he was done puking.

He came and sat beside me on the bed. He looked at me then he took my hand in his." I'm really sorry baby, but right now I'm not thinking straight I guess. I left before because I knew you were denying your feelings for me but I was not really mad, I just wanted you to realise your feelings for me."he said and I nodded. I can't believe I cried buckets thinking he was mad and he left because he was mad at me because I didn't say I love him.

"Well, it probably worked."I told him then I shifted my whole body towards him and I held his cheek with the hand that was not in his hands. I looked him straight in the eye,"I love you Alex Scott. I know you have waited to hear it from me for a while now but I really do love you so much. I... The reason why I was in denial is because I'm really scared of love. Please , I have given you my whole heart, don't break it honey. I love you so much Alex."I told him and a tear dropped on my cheeks but I was smiling. Alex had the biggest grin I've ever seen but he just looked at me.

"Say that again baby."he said and I raised my eyebrows at him." Each and every part."he added when he saw my quizzical look. I repeated the words I told him and he lifted me and brought me to his lap. I straddled him and I looked at him."I know you want that kiss but I just puked my guts out right now. Later mmmm"he said and  I pouted. I really wanted that kiss. I pointed at my cheeks and he smiled but he kissed my cheeks anyway but before he pulled away I captured his lips and I kissed him but he didn't respond. He just tightly closed his lips. I pulled away and I glared at him." I said later." He said smiling and I nodded sulking.

"Fine, let's go I'll cook something for you."I told him still on his lap. He nodded and he lifted me and carried me to the kitchen. I wanted to ask him why he drunk himself stupid but seeing him back to normal I just left for him to tell me when he will be comfortable. He was obviously not doing okay because I have never seen him that vulnerable and if it's not because of the fact that I didn't tell him I love him back then it's must be something else. Maybe something to do with his sister.

We reached the kitchen and he put me down on the stools on the counter then he left to the fridge and I immediately stood up. I'm the one who is supposed to cook not him." Go sit down mister, I am cooking."I told him pulling him back.

"But I bought something to eat."he said opening the fridge and got some boxes.

"What, when?"I asked him surprised.

"When I left you in the room, I got out and drove to your favourite restaurant to buy you something. You told me how you like their dishes so I drove there. After I came back you were still in the room and I figured maybe you need some more time so I went to the study."he said putting the dishes in the plate and then put them on the microwave to heat them.

"So you went to the study to get yourself drunk?"I asked obviously enquiring why he got drunk but indirectly.

"I just had this conversation with my sister but I'm not ready to talk about it now. Sit down and let's eat."he said in a voice that screamed of no talking back. I wanted to say I had eaten dinner but to keep him company, I just nodded without saying anything plus it was from my favourite restaurant, I can't say no." It has probably lost it's taste by now."he said giving me my plate and he came and sat next to me. I didn't say anything because when I tasted the food it tasted heavenly.

After we were done eating we washed the dirty plates and we headed to our bedroom on the second floor. When we reached the floor my eyes went wide when I remembered what I had done with the room with the intention of confessing to Alex.

"Alex, just stay here for a while okay? Don't come in till I tell you to."I told him when we reached the door.

"Why?"he asked.

"Just do that."I told him and I got in. I can't let him see this now. I really wanted him to see this before but right now I feel really embarrassed. Shawn and I had prepared a setting full of flowers that he ordered online. It was a cute setting but not much, it was just flowers that had been arranged in our room and some lights that shone when the the main lights were turned off. I didn't know what to start with and before I knew it Alex was in the room.

"I said you stay outside for a while."I scolded him but his attention was shifted in the decorations around the room. I looked outside the glass windows embarrassed. The scene outside is so much better than looking at Alex embarrassed.

"What's all this baby?"he asked as he walked to where I stood. I didn't reply other than look away." Did you perhaps want to make love today?"he said and I looked at him shocked. This shameless man.

"Why would you think that? I just wanted a cute setting to confess to you."I said then I covered my mouth immideately. Damn, I said it loud. 

"Really? Then why would you not want me to see this beautiful setting?"he asked and I uncovered my mouth and I looked down my shoulders dropping.

"Because, it's embarrassing."I told him and he chuckled. He held my chin up so I can look at him. I looked at his face and damn he looks so tired. Why hadn't I noticed this before. He needs a good rest.

"Are you listening?"he asked and I got out of my thoughts.

"What were you saying again?"I asked him and he just smiled. Even his smile is a tired one but he is doing it for me to see it. Why didn't he say he was tired?

"Where is your attention at?"he asked.

"I'm just seeing how tired you are. You need to rest honey. You are gonna get sick because of fatigue. Why didn't you say you were tired?"I scolded him.

"Don't worry, I'm good, and don't remove these lights and flowers. You will explain them to me when you're not worried about me getting sick because of fatigue. Is that even a thing? I've probably been tired all my life and nothing has ever happened."he said laughing and I wondered if he's joking about his health.

Whatever, I'm here now to stay. There is no way I will let him tire himself anyway."let's sleep now."I told him and he nodded but he didn't come to bed he went to the bathroom. I thought he needed to use the bathroom so I just arranged the pillows and got in the covers because I was already in my usual night wears.

A few minutes Alex came out and he lay next to me in the covers." Don't you want that kiss anymore?"he asked when I just lay on his chest. I know he's tired but I've missed this so much. I looked up and saw him smiling at me."my mouth is clean now."he added and I laughed.

"Just so you know, I could have kissed you anyway, but now is better. I had forgotten about it but thanks for the reminder."I said and I lifted myself and I captured his lips.

"I love you."he broke the kiss and said.

"And I love you too honey."I replied and I kissed him again.