Chapter 128- Relief.

Raina's POV.

I felt the biggest relief I have ever felt in my life after telling Bas how I felt and what happened, it felt like a big weight that was weighing me down was lifted, it was insane how what he said was right, that sharing things with someone will make you feel better, and relieved than you imagined.

I never knew how true that word was, but right now, I realized how true it was, how I felt like I was breathing right and the clamping I felt in my throat just went away, the lump in my chest went away just by speaking to him.

The relief made me feel lighter,I felt like I could even fly if I tried it, it was crazy, but that was how fast everything happened and I appreciated it, I appreciated the fact that he listened to me, all I needed first was a listening ear before questions and I think he realized that I needed to be listened to when he asked me at first, and he listened to me till I finished everything I was saying, he let me speak, he didn't interrupt me and that made me feel better than I actually expected or realized I would feel.

And then when I finished I won't forget what he said, the way he answered me, "There's nothing I'll tell you that will change how you feel, your feelings are valid, and I know you feel very guilty, that's why you're thinking of all of these, but there's one thing you should know, " he paused and I stared at him, "when you're berating yourself, don't forget that when this happened you weren't an adult, you were just a kid who wanted to have fun, and you didn't know the repercussions of anything you did, all you did was what fascinated you and that's okay," he said and I nodded, "but now you've grown up to read it, you've know how childish you were as a child and you're feeling guilty and that's okay, but don't let your guilt make you believe things that aren't true, don't let it poison yourself and your thoughts." He said and I stared at him with eyes full of tears.

It's how much I didn't know I wanted to hear those words coming out from his mouth, I didn't even know how much I needed it,and even though I still felt slightly disturbed about what happened, those words from his mouth took the major guilt I felt away, those words was making me feel warm and good about myself, and I knew since I got my memories, I wasn't feeling warm and good, but he made me feel that,he listened to everything I said and eventually be even told me why everything happened, and how my guilt, the guilt I didn't know I was feeling so much was pressing me to think of things that didn't exist or even imagine it.

"And don't ever think that your parents do not love the fact that you're back or even appreciate it, they do, they are overjoyed, they are so happy their mouths would crack from the smiles they've had since they found out about you, and they are not blaming you, they love the fact that you're back and you exist, your father who was your best of friend wants to hang out with you, he wants to catch up with you, your mom wants to be a mother to you and make you feel loved, your brother wants to be a big brother to you and he wants to tell you he has missed you, so don't think that you're not needed or not worthy of the love they want to show you, you're worthy of it and everything and more my love." He said and I laughed, I laughed more when I felt the tears I didn't even know we're steaming down from eyes.

"And I know this because I've read all their minds, and that's how they all felt, so stop berating yourself, don't hurt yourself, if you keep feeling that way, you're going to hurt yourself." Bas said and I smiled.

"Thanks." I told him and he nodded.

"Thanks for listening to me, to my ramblings which were incoherent at some point, thanks a lot." I added and she smiled hugging me.

"You really know how to make me fall in love with you, over and over again, and I'm not sure I'll ever get tired of it." I said and he laughed looking away, he was embarsssed.

"Get tired of what?" He asked and I blushed.

"Get tired of loving you." I replied and he smiled patting my hair.

"And I love you, and always will." He replied carrying me up and I squealed.

In no time,just few minutes and he made me forget about my worry, the sudden anxiety and guilt I felt disappeared, it was like it wasn't there at all, like whatever pent up feeling in me wasn't even there to begin with, like it never existed.

I felt free, much more happy, and I was really excited for absolutely no reason, nah I wouldn't say it was for absolutely no reason, because I know they the reason was sitting here close to me raising his brows in question at my smiley face, I wanted to tell him, "hey I'm smiling for many reasons and you're the biggest reason." But I preferred to think about it instead, so he raised his eyebrows again and I decided to let it out.

"I'm smiling for many reasons and you're the biggest reason." I said and his face had this smug look that he has when he was feeling himself and he looked genuinely startled to hear that with me, but he kept a snug look trying to hid the fact that he was surprised at what I said, so I scooted over to him and kissed him, he kissed me back, like he's been wanting to do so for a while now.

"I love you and you make me happy." I told him and he blushed hiding his face away and I Chuckled making him face me.

"You know you manage to make me feel things I didn't even know I could feel, like I'm blushing, I can't believe that." He said and I laughed.

"Well, I'm proud of myself, I'm happy I made you blush." I said feeling giddy than I felt earlier.

"Don't be too proud, I might not blush next time yunno." He said sitting straight.

"Oh yeah?" I raised my brows and he laughed.

I didn't even know how to thank him, he just helped relieve my guilt which made me anxious, I also hated myself at some point, I even thought of running away from my sibling and parents, thinking it'll be for their own food to stay away from a selfish person like me, I wanted them to stay without me, I'm happy I removed such a thought from my mind and it was all because of Bas I could think something useful, he helped with what I needed and even comforted me and cleared my mind.

"I'm happy you're happy." He said kissing me.

"I love you too," he said and I smiled, "I love you more." He added and I kept smiling.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Much better, much better than I felt before." I replied and he nodded.

He stood up slowly and I dragged him to sit back down, I may have healed the wound though I didn't know what I was doing, but he still looked tired and out of energy, and I didn't want him jumping up and down till he took a drug.

I was worried about him, it was because of me he was even hurt in the first place, I heard Matteo say something about making my stay here good, so he had to go out and make plans, and due to going out, or asking for questions about what exactly was going on in the city he got hurt, so it made me worried, I gave him a glare and he just smiled, I left the room to get drugs for him.

I almost screamed if I didn't face a familiar face, Bas's father stood with a tray and drugs in it, he walked closer to me and gave them to me I collected it with a smile, "once he takes this, his strength would be back, and he should rest too, so make sure he takes this." Bas's father said leaving and I smiled.

His father really cared about him, it didn't matter if they just had an argument, he wanted Bas to be okay, and that was so sweet.

I went down warming a porridge I saw in the freezer, I hoped he would eat that, Vampires had a different palate.

Bringing the porridge, I gave him to him and he smiled eating it all, and taking the drugs.