CHAPTER 19

Dylan had seen Carly running out of the gym and the look on her face showed that something had happened but the moment she wanted to follow her,the coach arrived and she had to stay.She was distracted the entire time during practice  especially when Carly didn't come back.She couldn't stop wondering what had upset her that much to the point of missing practice.At one point she had held the ball for so long pausing the game while trying to search if Carly was amongst the group of cheer leaders.

 "Lewis,where is your head at today?" the coach shouted, alerting her.

 "Sorry coach," she replied and threw the ball.

 "You better get back in the game or I'll be forced to bench you," he warned.

She nodded and struggled  to keep up through out the rest of the game.When the whistle blew to mark the end of it,she didn't even wait a second longer.She walked across the gym and retrieved Carly's gym bag.She recognized another girl who seemed less intimidating amongst all the cheerleaders and walked up to her.

 "Hey,"she greeted

 "Hi Dylan,"Taylor replied.

 "Do you know where Carly might be?"

 "No but she seemed pretty upset.It was something she saw on her phone but I have no idea what it was,"she replied with a shrug then added,"Anyway,I better get going.See you around Dylan."

 "Thanks,bye Taylor."

Dylan headed to the bathrooms but Carly was nowhere in sight.Where could she have gone and left her bag? She wondered.She took a shower and dressed quickly then headed out,carrying both their gym bags and headed out.She remembered what Taylor had said about Carly seeing something on her phone then throwing it back in the bag.She thought of taking a look but decided against it.She wasn't one to snoop around in people's things no matter how close they were.She was just going down the staircase outside the school entrance when she saw her sitting on concrete beside the building.She headed straight to her.

 "Where did you run to?I have been looking all over for you," she said as she sat next to her.She leaned forward and kissed her cheek lightly after making sure that no one was in sight but Carly didn't move a muscle.She kept an indifferent look.No smile,no turning to her and her hands held protectively across her chest. "What's wrong?"

 "You tell me,"she replied and finally turned to her and that was when she saw the evidence of tears even though she  wasn't crying now.Her voice was laced with anger and Dylan's heart sank as she realized that she was angry at her. "I actually thought you loved me."

Dylan's face now turned from concern to surprise.She had no idea what Carly meant by that statement.

 "Of course I love you,what are you talking about?"

Carly shook her head and smiled,a smile that didn't really reach her eyes," Don't  make me say it because I'll be even more angry  than I am right now."

 "Carly please,just tell me what's going on."

Carly got up and grabbed her bag from her,"I fucking hate you Dylan." She turned and started to leave.

 "Carly?"

 "Just go to hell!"

The next school day was even much worse.After trying to search for answers and not getting any,Dylan didn't know what to do.She woke up earlier than usual and hoped that Carly would talk to her and just tell her whatever was going on.The thought of losing her was just too much to handle even in her young age.So that morning,she was standing by Carly's locker waiting for her.She stood up straight when she saw her but the moment their eyes met,Carly looked away and wanted to walk right past her even without speaking a word.

 "Hey,why are you giving me the cold shoulder and silent treatment?" she asked as she stopped her.

 "Maybe because I just don't feel like talking to you,"Carly replied harshly.

 "Did I do something wrong?"

Carly scoffed but before she could reply,Emily came along and stopped beside them.She gave Carly a sweet smile and a contentious grin at Dylan.

 "Hey Carly," then to Dylan,"Hey homo."She said it in such a way that showed how homophobic she was .Dylan's mouth hand open,not believing she had heard her right.She turned and faced Emily with a hard look.

 "What did you just call me?" she asked sternly.

Instead of replying ,Emily just shrugged and gave her the same contentious smile as if daring her to do her worst.For a moment, Dylan thought of slapping it off her face but she wasn't one to take quick action even when she was angry and also because she didn't want to risk suspension.Emily then turned back to Carly.

 "Have you given any thought on my offer?"

Dylan frowned in confusion.What could Emily have offered to Carly?And was it the source of what was happening between them now?They weren't even friends as far as she knew and this sudden acquaintance was confusing.Somehow,she felt like there was foul play somewhere.

  "What offer is she talking about?Did she say something that made you angry at me for some reason?" she asked in quick succession as soon as Emily left them.

Carly laughed,"She didn't have to tell me anything.I saw enough enough to convince me how stupid I have been to be with you."

 "Carly,would you please elaborate further.What did I do?"

 "Enough for me to realize that you are the kind of person who goes after everyone whole smiles at them,"Carly replied.She opened he locker,took out a book then banged it closed again.

 "What?" she asked in shocked disbelief.

 "You know what Dylan,you and I are over,"she took some steps away then turned back to her,"You are a fucking dyke  whore and I don't want to see you around me again."

 "Lee," she begged,"What is Emily forcing you to do?" She asked convinced that Emily had a hand in this.

 "She is not forcing me to do anything.She just offered me the deputy cheer leading spot."

 "You don't even like cheer leading,don't tell me you are even considering it."

 "Maybe I do now," Carly replied and without another word,she walked away and left her there;shocked,still processing every word she had said and with a broken heart.Whore?Dyke?The words went round and round her head and each time hurt her  even more than the last.For the rest of the day,each attempt to talk to her had turned futile and she finally gave up.She didn't fail to notice the looks between Carly and Emily and she couldn't stop wondering how Emily had so easily caught her under her hook.

   That evening when she got home,nothing felt right.Even the food her mother had left in the fridge for her didn't look appealing despite the fact that it was her favorite Italian dish.She took out an orange and placed it on the kitchen marble table top then took out a knife and held it in her hands.Her thoughts strayed and she forgot  what she was doing.She started hitting the table top absently.It was her mother's voice that alerted her and snapped her out of her thoughts when she asked her what had happened.And that's when  she made up her mind that she wasn't going to hide her identity from her  mother again.She knew was  the only one who was likely to understand her and so she came out to her.

   *****

    Carly hadn't taken time to think about Emily's offer  but after her conversation with Dylan that morning,she was now considering it.Calling Dylan a dyke also hadn't been something she had wanted to say,but her anger propelled her to utter the very offensive word that she wouldn't ever call anyone.In real sense,even she would be called the same and she also knew she would be hurt.After that moment,she hadn't considered that and added to the fact that Dylan was acting as if she didn't know what was going on;totally clueless of what she had done,she didn't hold back and she somehow felt that she deserved it.There was one thing that bothered her though,Emily calling Dylan a homo showed that she probably knew about them.And then there was the matter of the photo,she didn't have any idea who had sent it to her.Maybe she wasn't the only one who had seen it and if that was the case,then it explained how Emily knew that Dylan was gay.

     She had avoided or rather ignored her for the rest of the day  and even went further to try to hurt her even more by paying attention to everything Emily said to her.  The first two weeks went on like that.Not that she didn't think of Dylan,she worked really hard to fight going back to her.Dylan finally gave up when she officially joined Emily's posse.She changed most of the classes they shared and also found new friends.And they didn't ever talk again,nor saw each other at close range.It was almost as if nothing had happened between them.

   *****

Present day...

Carly stopped her story midway as both Carol and Ella looked at her in disapproval without saying a word.If it was some years back,she wouldn't have cared to know their opinion but now since she knew she had been stupid and inconsiderate for not giving Dylan a chance to explain,she wouldn't mind even reprimand.She had broken up with her without giving her a chance to give her side of the story.So,she already knew why they had given her that reaction.

 "Not cool at all,not cool," Carol said after a moment of silence.

 "A dyke?Are you kidding me?" Ella contributed."That was deep,coming from you especially.It's so offensive."

 "I know.I wasn't thinking straight and I wanted to hurt her feelings so bad just like she had hurt mine,"she replied. "We actually joked about it when we talked next and resolved our issues."

 "So,when did you finally realize the truth or what had really happened with Alison.Had she really kissed her?"

Carly smiled then went on,"It was after that encounter at the diner.Surprisingly,she invited me to her birthday party.It was actually the first one and only one she  held.At first I thought of declining.I was still mad at her but then it came around the time I had gotten my brother back so I went.By then,she had already come out and I was so jealous of her.I didn't have half the confidence."

 "But you did miss her?"

Carly nodded,"Yes I did.I only accepted that fact after the conversation at the diner."

 "Okay,did you resolve it?" Ella asked then," I'm guessing no because here you are,formally married and with a kid."

 "Shut up babe.I need to hear every detail,"Carol said playfully."But just a moment,I'll go check on the kids first."

    "We worked it out that day.I apologized and she did forgive me," Carly went on as soon as Carol returned.

                                  *****

SENIOR YEAR...

It was the next week after she and Taylor had quit the team.Taylor hadn't told her what she had meant just before they went home for the weekend,about knowing some things about her.They were standing in the hallway just after the day's classes talking.She didn't know that Taylor and Dylan had become friends until that day.

 When she saw Dylan waling towards them,at first she thought she was coming to talk to her.Their encounter at the diner on Friday was still fresh in her mind and seeing her now,she reminded her of what she had felt when their eyes met.She pretended to be looking at something on her phone when Dylan stopped where they were.

          "Hey Dee!" she heard Taylor greet  her cheerfully and she looked up in surprise.At first it was because she didn't expect them to be that familiar with each other but then,it dawned on her that Taylor knew about them;about their past rather and that had to be the only explanation for their conversation on Friday.

            "Hi Tay,"Dylan replied in the same familiar way