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Lanre clapped her hands together in mock laughter. “Chibuzor abi na caretaker be your name, Ogu kill you there! You are very stupid!” Lanre said walking out from there. She went inside. She was done washing and had gone to dry the last set of clothes, only to return and see the caretaker trying to disconnect their light. And when she had asked him what was wrong, he said they were the only ones left in the entire building to pay their light bill. So Lanre not wanting him to cut it told him to wait. She will go get the money. And just as agreed between age and her roommate, Ify, she has gone to ask Ify to add a thousand naira to the one thousand naira in her hand to make it two thousand naira so she can give to the caretaker. Only for this drama to be played out in front of her. She hissed. “Let me go take my bath, eat and sleep for at least an hour”. Lanre said taking off her clothes and tying a towel over her chest.

Meanwhile Ify was outside scolding Chibuzor. “If you like don’t change, you see one day you go land inside soup, you no go fit swim pot”. Ify said to him in Nigeria pidgin which if translated is, “One day you will get into trouble with no way out”. The caretaker feigned annoyance at Ify.

“What is the meaning of that Ify? Let me tell you incase you have forgotten. I am a graduate. I graduated with first class from the department of Materials and Metallurgical Engineering ok! It’s not because I like you, you will talk to me anyhow!” Chibuzor said to Ify. Ify laughs at him.

“What is that pungent odour? It makes me want to puke!” she said dramatically referring to what Chibuzor just said regarding the fact that he is a graduate. Then she positioned herself as if holding a paper and then started with a British accent.

“Breaking News: Chibuzor The First Class Graduate Turned Caretaker” Then she laughed after saying what seemed to be her headline. “Chibuzor a caretaker in Billionaire’s lodge ‘the name of the building', claims to be a first class graduate from the prestigious University of all times, the University of Nigeria Nsukka, Enugu state, department of Materials and Metallurgical Engineering. Chibuzor who is known for his womanising behaviour and degrading attitude, a fraud and a thief, is only a school drop out who can not keep his d**k within his trousers”. Ify said and laughed. The next thing she realised was a slap on her cheek. Ify held her cheek not wanting to believe that Chibuzor slapped her.

“Ify, if you ever insult me again, the whole world will gather to separate us! Ewu (Goat)! Because I say I like you, you open that smelling thing you called mouth to call me, Odogwu Chibuzor womaniser. Make I no hear my name for ya mouth again o! Nwatagor?” Chibuzor said to Ify warning her that he would beat her up if she ever insults him again.