DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD?

     Ethan noticed that she was no longer talking nor listening. He turned slowly and saw that the colour has drained from her face and she was as stiff as a stick, a frown knitted his brows together and he lowered the burner and went to her, looking at her face. She was holding a phone to her ear. He stood in front of her for a while, looking at her face and she didn't seem to notice him. 

       He snapped a finger in her face.  "Breath," he said. 

      Consciousness came into her eyes again and they focused on him.  "Huh?" 

       "Look how white you've grown, you might faint from shock." 

        "He just called," she muttered, her eyes focused on an imaginary object. 

       "Who called?" Ethan inquired, sitting down on the stool opposite her. He slowly reached out and brought down her hand from her ear. 

        "He said he misses me," Faith muttered again, this time her voice almost coming out as a whisper. 

      Ethan looked at her phone, he went to her call logs and saw that it was Noah that just called. He had heard that name somewhere before, it was a name he had heard recently, it was familiar to him.  "Noah?" he asked, looking quizzically at her. 

      Her eyes refocused on him and she seem to recover, she glanced at his hand. 

         "Give me my phone." She reached for the phone."

  He did not withhold it from her. She grabbed the phone and looked at the screen. 

        "I'm sorry for prying," he said still looking at her. 

      "I'm sorry, I...I...I..." 

       "What did he say to you that got you like that?" 

She shot him a look that suggested it was none of his business. He stood up from the stool. 

         "I think minding my business is what I should do right now. I thought it was something serious. I was worried that something bad had happened. The colour was drained off your face." He went back and turned on the cooker. 

       She placed her hands on her cheeks as if to be sure that the colours has drained off her face. Noah had just called and said that he misses her a lot and that he would like them to meet and talk things over. Somebody, please wake her from this dream! Was he drunk? How could he call her all of a sudden? Out of the blues? Her heart was not racing, it was hammering against her rib cage. 

        Had she said anything? Had she said they would meet? She looked over at Ethan, he was busy cooking his soup. Did he hear her say anything? She couldn't even ask him now because she had warned him to stay out of her business. She shouldn't always be quick to tell him off. She needed to know what she said to Noah because she was so dazed to remember what she said and even the last things Noah had said to her.  She shut her eyes and opened them again. 

        If Ethan was going to be on this with her, then she has to open up to him. After all, he already has an idea of who Noah was. She repositioned herself on the seat and cleared her throat. 

                                       * * *

       "I take it you already know Noah. I mean you've met him at Danny's company's dinner party." She waved her hands. 

      He stirred the soup, scooped a little amount and handed her the spoon to taste.  She stared at it for a short moment. He pushed the spoon forward, motioning her to taste. She took the spoon and tasted it, savouring the taste. Then, she nodded her reply. He went back to the cooker. 

       "I don't think I know him unless you tell me about him.

      She bit her lower lips and convinced herself that she was going to talk to him about Noah because Nora wouldn't even want to hear Noah's name from her and she planned to go see Noah if he wanted them to see. Nora was not going to allow that, she needed to talk to someone who didn't know much about Noah. 

       "He is my fiancé." She refused to put him in her past. 

  He dropped the spoon he was holding and it clattered noisily on the pot. He turned and went over to the table. 

       "You are engaged?" he asked peering at her face. 

    She turned and looked into his eyes.  "Would it be unfair if I still addressed him as my fiancé?" She looked down at her fingers. "We were engaged, we were happy, then all of a sudden, he decided that he wasn't in it anymore and he left." 

        "Is that why you are running?" he asked in a low voice. 

     She looked up at him and her eyes were glassy.  "Running? What do you mean running?" 

        "You are running from yourself." 

        "How?" 

       "You don't want to accept the truth. More like you don't want to come to reality. Did you see that guy at that party? Does he look like...alright. What do you do now that you don't do then?" 

        She stared blankly at him. He widened his eyes, asking her to say something with his eyes. 

       "I'm not running from the truth." 

       "That's not the question. What are you doing now that you weren't doing then?" 

        "Well, it doesn't matter..." 

        "It matters a lot, Faith." 

        "It's Miss Prescott." She stared hard at him.

        "I don't care what you want me to call you. This is all part of what I'm talking about. You are busy running away from the truth. You don't want to believe that he left you, you still believe that he would come back to his senses, after all, he had put a ring there. But having a ring there doesn't authenticate anything."

     She hit her hand on the table and stood up. "This conversation is over!" She turned and started leaving the kitchen. 

        "You don't want to hear the truth, Faith!" he called after her. But she didn't look back.

 She left the kitchen and banged the door behind her. 

     He looked at the pot of food in the cooker.  "I'm done cooking, you should come to eat at least!" 

                                      * * *

         "How is your friend?" Charlie asked, dropping the soda drink in front of her. 

     It has become a habit for Faith to seek Charlie anytime she needed solace. Maybe she just wanted to know how gays think and she thinks they are just too understanding. Her brother was the first. He took care of her and protected her like there was nothing else to care for. So, she feels it's just a gay attribute to be caring and understanding towards the other sexuality. She had asked Charlie to meet her after work. 

      She had been so mad at Ethan last night that she didn't even bother to wait for him in the morning. She had gone to the hospital to see Charlotte on her own and when Charlotte had asked about Ethan, she had said she didn't wait up for him because she had a client to meet. It was true, but she could have waited for Ethan and would have still met with her client. How dare he talk to her like that? Who was he to know what she wants in her life and what she doesn't want? 

       She looked petulantly at Charlie and looked at the drink. Was he pretending not to notice that she looked upset? Or was she not looking upset enough?

         "She is doing fine," she replied without enthusiasm and grabbed her soda drink and sipped. 

           "Are you upset about something?" Charlie asked, peering at her. 

   I thought you won't notice. She rolled her eyes and kept the drink on the table.   "He called last night." 

           "Who?" 

   She looked at him and sighed.  "Who else? Noah." 

        "After how many years?" 

  She eyed him. "You and I know that it's not up to two months we broke up." 

         "So...he called and..."

     Faith glared at him.  "Charlie!" 

        "What?" Charlie asked feigning innocence. 

        "Don't do that!" 

          "What am I doing order than sitting in this restaurant, drinking with you and waiting for our kebab?"

           "Stop looking at me like that and don't try to put words into my mouth." 

         "Alright, you don't want me to talk?" He drew his finger over his lips.  "My lips are sealed." 

          "After all, people break up and makeup, why is mine going to be any different?" 

        "I didn't say anything," Charlie said. 

        "You are thinking something." 

         "I'm just curious to know what Noah said to you, that's all." 

         "Well, he said that he wants us to meet and talk things out." Charlie just stared at her without saying anything to her. She looked at him and raised an eyebrow.  "What?" she asked hunching her shoulders. 

        "You made me promise not to say anything." 

         "I didn't say that! Alright." She shifted forward and placed her arms on the table.  "I didn't say you shouldn't say something, don't just make me feel like I don't know what I'm doing. Do you think I should go meet him?" 

        "Whatever I say won't make any difference. I just have a question for you." 

         "What's the question?" 

         "You said you saw him at the dinner party with another woman and that was how many days ago?" 

         "It doesn't matter, I didn't say I was going to do anything with him. I would just go and hear what he has to say." 

       "Alright. If you say so." Their kebabs arrived and Charlie thanked the waiter and looked at Faith's plate and his plate to know which is bigger. 

                                       * * *

       Ethan sat on a chair beside Charlotte's bed, feeding her. No one else was in the room. Charlotte's mom has gone back home to take a rest. Ethan has volunteered to stay with Charlotte that night to relieve Mrs Hernandez. Valentine had a quiz the next day and needed to study. 

       Charlotte looked so pallid now, her large eyes were no longer as bright and they were forming a dark hollow now, her lips were turning purple and she looked tired. She was even taking time to eat the food. Ethan fed her another spoon, but she shook her head. 

         "What? Are you okay?" he asked concerned. 

           "I don't want this now," she said in a cracked voice. 

      "You want to eat something else? Should I make another mushroom soup for you?" 

     She shook her head. A weak smile on her face. "I want you to hold me. I want to feel your arms around me once again. I want to feel I'm safe once more in your arms." 

          "You don't need to say it that way. Just ask me." He stood up and went over to her. 

         "Can you read me a book then?" She raised a book. 

     He sat on the bed and shifted to her, putting his arm behind her, she snuggled up to him and placed her head on his chest. He looked at the book titled  'The Things Between Us' by Jennifer Reginald. He flipped the pages and stop at a page she folded. 

        "Do you enjoy the book?" he asked. 

  She looked up at him.  "My favourite so far." 

     He looked down at her and kissed her forehead and rubbed her arm. She looked down and he started reading the book to her. After a few minutes, he heard her sniff. He dropped the book on his lap and raised her head with his other hand. She had tears on her cheeks. 

                  "Are you crying?" 

        She shook her head before saying.  "My birthday is coming in two days and I'm so tired to even remember it. I'm so tired, I never knew I would be so tired at twenty-three." 

       "Hey, hey, listen to me. You don't need to feel this way. Your birthday is going to be memorable, I promise. Stop thinking alright." 

         "Honestly, I'm scared. I'm scared of dying. I live with the knowledge that one day, I won't be able to open my eyes anymore, I won't be able to smile at people anymore, I'm even more scared that one day when people talk about me, they would only have a fading image of me in their head and eventually, my name would cease in their lip, I'm scared that one day, I won't see these beautiful people anymore. "

       Ethan hugged her and pressed her tightly to him.  "Shhh!" She sobbed while he hugged her tight, consoling her until she fell asleep. He held her there and in a matter of minutes, he was sleeping too. 

                                     * * *

        Faith slowly opened the hospital ward's door and peeped in first before she moved in. She saw Charlotte's limp body leaning on Ethan's strong and masculine body. She lay there like she was hanging on for dear life. They were both asleep. She moved slowly into the room and stood by the bed watching them for a while, then it came to her, that she should cover them. She took hold of the bedsheets and started covering them, but Ethan's eyes clicked open and he stared blankly at her for a moment. 

      She stood there looking at him. Then he opened his eyes fully and started disentangling herself from Charlotte. 

         "Hey," he said his voice cracked with sleep. 

           "Hi," she said dropping the bedsheets and avoiding his eyes. 

     Ethan got out of the bed and started drawing the bedsheet up Charlotte's body, Charlotte stirred and opened her eyes dimly. She saw Faith and smiled. She stretched herself. 

           "Hey," she said the smile, still on her face. 

           "How do you feel now?" Faith asked drawing the seat closer to the bed and sitting on it, still looking at Charlotte. 

        "Honestly, I'm tired," Charlotte said yawning. 

    Ethan went over to Charlotte, stooped and kissed her forehead.   "I'll leave you girls to catch up, I'll go catch some air outside." 

         "See, you later," Charlotte said cheerfully. 

     Faith waited for Ethan to leave before she took out the cake she had got for Charlotte. She had managed to learn how not to cry when she was with Charlotte. But seeing Charlotte in this condition, looking all pallid and feeble was just too much for her and she fought to keep herself from bursting into tears. Charlotte took the cake from her and made a weak effort to sit up. 

       Faith went over and helped her up.  She leaned her upper body against the headboard. 

           "Thank you," she said. 

   Faith sat at the edge of the bed, facing her.  "You said you were tired. What are you tired of?" 

         "Of everything," Charlotte replied with a smile.  "You know when I was younger, I had my life all planned out, I always say by thirty, I would be running my own fashion house. But, I never knew that I won't even get to live to twenty-five. It's funny, isn't it? How we make plans when we don't know what God has in store for us."

        "Do you believe in God?" Faith found herself asking. 

        "What's there not to believe? He knows why everything is happening." 

          "You know, I am similar to you. I planned out my life when I was younger too. I wrote it down in my journal and I tick it whenever I achieved any of it, but as I got older, it got more difficult until it became impossible. In my journal, I'm supposed to be married now. So, why does God not align with our plans? Why does He have to thwart it and make people sad instead?"

       "Faith, I'm not very religious, but I know that God doesn't align with our plans, all we have to do is align with His. We should let Him own us, we should surrender to Him freely and we would see the handwork of God." 

         "My dad did that and he was so inhumane and he made me lose everything that made me happy, my mom, my brother. My dad is dead but I am still feeling the impact of what he did to us. I lost everyone because of God." 

          "No, you didn't lose because of God, your dad was just a human who didn't understand reli..." She started coughing profusely.

        Faith looked at her with dread.  "Are you okay?!" 

       But Charlotte kept coughing. Tears were already running down Faith's eyes as she was confused and at a l oss of what to do. The monitor was beeping faster now and the zigzag lines were almost going straight. 

         "Somebody help!" Faith cried and ran out to get help.