YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL

       It was raining heavily when Ethan met with her at Nora's place to take her home. Nora didn't bother explaining anything to Ethan over the phone, she just told him that Noah broke Faith's heart again.  It was Faith's place to tell him the whole story. When Ethan saw her, he was surprised that she was wearing Nora's clothes. 

      "Welcome to our place, Ethan," Nora said 

    Ethan looked around.  "it's a nice place you have here." 

       "Thank you." 

    Danny came down the stairs.  "Ethan!" he called, walked up to him and stretched his hand for a shake. 

       "I was just telling Nora how wonderful your place is," Ethan said taking his hand. 

     Danny looked around and Ethan could swear he saw a hint of a smug on his face, but it disappeared quickly. He looked back at Ethan, still holding his hand.  "Thank you. Maybe we should all have dinner one day." 

      "Dinner would be perfect," Nora chirped in. 

      "I'll be honoured," Ethan said and finally looked at Faith again.  "Thank you for taking care of her, Nora, we would get going." 

       "No way! Why don't you join us for dinner? We didn't eat hoping you would come to join us," Nora said. 

      "It's so thoughtful of you all, I'm sorry I'll still have to decline, I already made dinner at home." He looked at Faith and gave her a sign not to try objecting. 

      Faith scowled at him and her stomach grumbled. She would kill him if there was nothing in the house. He held out his hand and she hesitated before she took it and he grabbed her a little bit firmly. 

      "We will be leaving now, bye," Ethan said. 

      "Bye Nora, bye Danny," Faith said. 

      "Bye," Nora and Danny chorused. 

   Ethan led Faith out of the room, into the pouring darkness. Nora went over to Danny and locked her arm with his. 

       "Ain't they beautiful together?" she asked. 

   Danny turned and looked at her.  "Hey, wake up. This is not a romance movie or novel that you can ship them together, this is reality." 

     Nora made a face.  "Whatever."  She left his arm.  "Let's eat dinner!" she called as she walked towards the kitchen, Danny turned and followed her. 

      The ride back home was a silent one. Faith remained quiet and looked out of the window throughout the journey. Ethan kept sneaking glances at her. He knew she must be very sad and he didn't want to upset her, he was just glad she wasn't crying. 

     They finally got home and Faith was the one to get into the apartment first. She pulled off the coat that Nora had given her to stay warm, kicked off her shoes and headed to her room. Ethan stood watching her. 

       "Faith?" he called. 

      She stood a few inches away from her door and turned to look at him. Her eyes and lips were swollen from too much crying but she still looked beautiful to him. 

       "Are you okay?" 

     Faith turned fully to face him and she smiled.  "Of course, I am." 

        "I made dinner," he said pointing awkwardly towards the kitchen.  "Are you hungry?" 

       Faith glanced towards the kitchen, at first, Ethan thought she would decline, but she nodded her head to his astonishment.  "I'm famished." 

      Ethan smiled.  "Let's go feed your stomach then." 

    Faith smiled.  "I'll go change into something better, this kind of makes me feel embarrassed." 

      Ethan chuckled.  "I'll be waiting in the kitchen." 

    Faith nodded and went into her room. A kind of warmth engulfed her and she smiled to herself. She had been scared that he won't care to ask her the least 'are you alright?' he had remained quiet throughout their journey back home. 

      She stopped frowning abruptly. Why was she suddenly happy that he asked her if she was alright? Was that not what she was supposed not to want? Does she want to tell him what transpired at Noah's place? She sighed and walked towards her closet. Was she going to also talk about the things Belle said to her? Maybe she shouldn't go to dinner, maybe she should tell him that she suddenly developed a headache and stay back in her room. That was what she was going to do. 

      She pulled off Nora's clothes and took out a red, transparent, skimpy nightwear and smiled at herself. This was going to show off how sexy she was. She got a grip on herself, shook her head and slapped her cheeks. Who was she trying to impress? She is not a desperate woman and never would be, no matter what anyone thinks of her. 

     She took out her flannel nightwear, but the urge to look beautiful, not just for Ethan but at all times became almost irresistible. She has to become as sexy as Belle and Nora before any man would desire her. She wore the flannel nightwear but had to go to the dresser to touch her face. She applied some eyeliner and mascara, then she put on a lip gloss. 

     Her makeup was light and barely noticeable, but it did its work, it accentuated her face perfectly. She smiled and looked back at the sexy nightwear again. 

     "Whatever," she said and shook her head. She was not going to wear that just for any man. It would just scream that she was desperate for a man's attention. After all, she was just going to decline dinner. 

     She slowly opened the kitchen door, he had already set their plates and was heating up whatever it was in the microwave, he turned when he heard her come in and pulled out a chair for her to seat down. Her heart couldn't let her decline the dinner anymore. She just smiled, went over and sat down. Telling him about Noah won't kill her, would it? After all, they were on friendly terms now. 

      "What did you cook?" she asked smiling up at him. 

   He shrugged.  "It's nothing special, just stew." 

      "Do you cook that well?" 

     He made a face.  "Not really, I just use my mom's manual sometimes and watch tutorials other times. I have never cooked anything until I came to Los Angeles." 

     Faith sighed.  "How could you, you are a spoilt brat. Mama's boy." She twitched her nose. 

       "What did you just call me? Hey, listen, I'm not mama's boy." 

      "Seeing how you always fall in your mom's arms and cry and the way she treats you like an egg..." 

       "Once in a while, we all need our mom to give us comforting hugs and she has her reason for treating me like an egg, but you won't understand, so forget it." 

      Faith tried not to think about his first statement about needing comforting hugs from mothers. But that was exactly what she thought about. She thought about what her mother's hug would be like. Ethan noticed her fallen countenance and peered at her face. 

      "Are you alright?" 

   She snapped out of the thought and smiled a bright smile.  "I'm fine. So, what can you cook without a manual or tutorials?" 

      "I can boil water," he said proudly. 

      She let out a chuckle.  "You are unserious." 

    The microwave dinged, demanding Ethan's attention before he could say anything. He went and removed the bowl of stew, spooned a portion into two smaller bowls and carried both to the table. There was also cornbread, reheated in a damp paper towel, steaming now as the butter melted over it. 

     He sat down beside her and they ate in silence for a while. Then she cleared her throat. 

      "Forgive me, what of your mom?" 

        "Oh, she said she was going to see a childhood friend and won't come back today." 

       "Oh, yeah, that's true, she said something like that to me." 

                      Silence again. 

    Ethan glanced at her.  "Are you okay?" 

    She looked sharply at him.  "I'm fine." She stuffed the cornbread into her mouth. 

     "No, I'm asking if you are really fine. Nora told me what happened." 

     This was the part she dreaded.  She exhaled deeply.  "What will I do? I mean, I'm not fine but there is nothing I can do, right? Let's just hope it's for the best." 

      "I'm glad you are not crying." 

    She chuckled.  "Cry? I have no more tears left in me. I'm tired of shedding tears, I've shed enough tears since childhood." 

       "Everything would be alright..."

       "Nothing would ever be fine," she snapped.  "I have accepted my fate. Belle was right, I'm unlucky and pitiable, I won't even try to get lucky anymore." 

        "Come on, Faith stop being pathetic." 

       "You know what being pathetic means? It's when I try to fit in like others, but no matter how hard I try, I would never fit in, it's when I do things the way I think it would please people but it only backfires on me, it's when people tell me what to do and what not to do, that's being pathetic." 

      He saw a glint of tears in her eyes, but she quickly blinked them away. He had the urge to hug her, but he didn't want to overly appear as the nice guy. So he let her rant. 

      "There is nothing I can do to get anyone to love me. Nothing! Nobody loves me deep enough, because something is definitely wrong with me. If not, my mother won't leave without me, if not my brother won't leave without me, if not Noah won't choose that woman over me! Despite the changes, I made to fit into his taste!" She was breathing heavily now, trying to control her tears. 

     "Wait, is that why you have been putting on makeup lately?" Faith didn't answer.  "Is that why you wore makeup tonight?" Faith's face burnt with embarrassment at that "Is that why you changed your wardrobe? Faith, looking good is very nice, but if you wanna change, why not do it at your own pace? Why let someone decide that for you? Knowing the type of person you are is enough attraction for anyone, it doesn't matter how you dress, because that can change at any freaking time."  He ran his fingers through his hair to calm his impatience. 

      "Faith, you can look like anyone you damn well want. The only person you have to please is yourself. If you want to change something, change it. If you don't want to, don't. It's your call. The only thing that matters is inner beauty. You are already a  beautiful woman as it is. Nobody should tell you otherwise."

      Faith only stared at him with glassy eyes.