WHO ARE YOU?

      When Faith walked into the doctor's office that day, the doctor didn't seem surprised or if she was, she didn't show it. Anyway, Faith wasn't interested in her reaction, she was just sore that morning. Her eyes were cast down, never looked up, even when she sat down in front of the doctor. 

      Dr Sanchez smiled at her.  "Back for me to have another crack on you?" 

     Faith looked up and her eyes rested on the doctor.  "Yes," she answered without enthusiasm. 

       "Then, I'll proceed with the torture." 

      Faith shrugged.  "What are we supposed to talk about today?" 

       "Well," the doctor began turning a few pages of her pad.  "I will like to continue to get to know you better, find out about your background at least. Where are you from?" the doctor asked looking up at her. 

        "Where are you from?" Faith returned the question. 

       "Tennessee and you?" 

       "I don't know, I grew up in Oak Park, Illinois." 

       "But you don't know if you are from there or not." 

       "My father didn't tell us," Faith said with a shrug. 

       "Well, that's strange." 

        "What do you mean, strange?" 

        "I know that everybody has to be from someplace." 

         "Oh, well, I think that's where I came from." 

        "But, you ain't sure." 

        "That was where I was born." 

         "What is your heritage?" 

         "My what?" 

        "Your roots." 

        "By root, do you mean my ancestors?" 

        "Exactly, where did they come from?" 

    Faith chuckled lightly.  "What ancestors?" she muttered more to herself. 

       "Okay, where was your dad from?" 

        "I don't know, he did talk about his childhood in Missouri." 

        "Your mother?" 

        "I don't know. She wasn't there when I grew up, so I don't know where she came from." 

       Dr Adriana Sanchez stared at her for a while and scribbled down things on her pad. Faith watched as she wrote and wondered what her heritage or roots or whatever has got to do with her ulcer. Then she remembered Nora's advice never to be resistant. The doctor looked up again from her pad. Faith didn't want to ask her outrightly why she was asking after her roots. 

      "But all these roots don't matter, do they? I mean I'm an American, that's all that matters." 

     The doctor huffed.  "You are not curious to find out where you came from?" 

      Faith dismissed it.  "It doesn't matter to me. I mean nothing is interesting about it." 

        "Well, you never can tell. So tell me, how would you describe yourself other than being an American?" 

      "Well, I'm a psychologist." 

       "No, aside from what you read in school and are practising now. Let's say if this job is taken away from you, who would you be?" 

     Faith was puzzled, she squirmed in her seat.  "Well, I don't know..." she let out and chuckled lightly.  "I don't understand where you are getting at." 

      Dr Adriana stared at her for a while. There was a lot to discover about Faith, there was a lot Faith had to discover about herself, things there, things she didn't even know herself, but they were there, buried in her subconsciousness and that is her problem. That is why her life has been the way it is. Sorrowful, dark, melancholic. Dr Sanchez was ready to help her discover them. Most of them may hurt, but it's better she discovered them and set herself free. 

       She was progressing, she was drilling Faith little by little and when she sees that there is nothing more to drill, she would resort to hypnotherapy. There was something about her mother. Something that Faith had suppressed in her. Dr Adriana was going to uncover that. 

      "I will ask you a question," Dr Adriana said. 

       "That's what you've been doing all these while," Faith said with a little chuckle. 

       "Who are you?" 

      "Who am I? Well, I'm Faith Prescott, I'm a woman..." Faith was having a difficult time.  "I'm beautiful, I'm tall... I don't know, is this supposed to relieve my stress or something?" 

      "It's supposed to give me a better idea of what we have to work on." 

      "What do we have to work on? I mean does stress have to do with who I am?" 

       "Yes." 

      "Alright, if that's so, did I describe who I am well this time?" 

      "Well, your answers describe your image. You are a woman who is beautiful and tall. Those are just what your physique is composed of, what every other person sees, what everyone sees when they set eyes on you." 

      Faith was helpless.  "What else is there to say?" 

   Dr Adriana shrugged.  "Nothing specific. But a lot of people connect themselves with someone, a personal relationship..." 

       "Alright, I get it. I'm Nora's best friend," Faith interjected. 

       Dr Sanchez smiled.  "You are humorous, Faith. I want you to keep asking yourself that question and keep answering it until you find the appropriate answer to it."  Faith stared at her speechless.   "And, cheer up, you look so melancholic." 

       That evening, Faith met with Nora over a drink at their favourite bar. As usual, Nora did all the talking. Today, she was all about her wedding coming up next month and how she wanted it to be. Faith sat arms folded across her chest and stared blankly at her. She was hearing Nora talk but she wasn't understanding her. Her mind was in turmoil. The incident that took place in her apartment with Ethan last night was still fresh in her memory and she thought she had dreamt it. 

      Now, it kept replaying itself in her head and she couldn't bear to go home. She can't even look Ethan in the face. Maybe, she had danced in a way that had seduced him and was that her red gown not too skimpy and tight? 

       Then, there was this issue of who she was. It kept ringing in her head. For the first in her life, she thought about where she came from. Her childhood memories were so vague, that she could hardly remember anything from there. Her father must have told them where they were from one time, but she couldn't remember. She couldn't remember most things that took place before she went to college. Just as the doctor said, she kept asking herself who she was, not because the doctor asked her to, but because the question kept tugging at her heart. 

       "Faith? Faith? Faith?!" Nora snapped a finger in her face. 

      Faith's eyes refocused on Nora. They were looking at Nora before but blankly. 

        "Were you even listening to anything I said?" 

        "I'm sorry." 

        "What's wrong?" 

        "Can I ask you a question?" 

       "Sure, as long as it has an answer." 

         "Who are you?" 

        "Me? I'm Nora Hills, from Philadelphia, the daughter of Mr and Mrs Hills, a fiancée to Daniel Rowland, most importantly, I'm of African descent. There are a lot of things I am." 

        "You didn't mention your career," Faith said. 

        "Well, my job doesn't define who I am. I could retire tomorrow, I could lose my job tomorrow, but I will still remain the daughter, wife to be and an African, these can never be taken from me." 

       That was when it sank into Faith. If that was a test back at the doctor's office, she had failed woefully. But how could she call herself the daughter of a monster? She didn't even want to associate herself with her father. Then, she thought again, why did she despise her father so much? What is the real reason? 

       "Faith, are you going to be blanking out on me all evening?" Nora asked. 

      Faith concentrated on her.  "I'm sorry." 

      "I guess we should go home now. You need to rest." 

       "No!" Faith blurted and was even surprised at herself. Nora gave her a quizzical look but said nothing.  "I mean, let's have dinner together." 

      "But I cooked at home. I want to eat with Danny." 

        "Alright, you can watch me eat even if you don't want to eat." 

      Nora leaned closer.  "I smell something fishy. Trouble in paradise?" 

       Faith closed her eyes trying to blot out the scene that kept replaying in her head and was leaving a trail of a storm in her stomach. 

       "Let the cat out of the bag. Out with it already." Nora said looking fixedly at Faith. 

       Faith's face flushed with embarrassment. She made a petulant face and shook her head.  "I can't tell you." 

        "If you can't tell me, I'll find out myself. You know me and what I can do. It was best if it has not been brought to my knowledge and pricked my curiosity." 

        "I had sex with him!" Faith blurted out. 

     Nora glanced around, everyone was minding their businesses as they should. She leaned closer to Faith.  "You had sex with him, don't tell me it's Noah." 

      "What? No!" Faith was irritated.  "You really underestimate me. I could never do anything with him again." 

      "That's nice," Nora said, but she was eager to hear the full story.  "Then the other man in your life that is prone to that is Ethan." Faith nodded. Nora gazed at her in astonishment and gasped. 

       "Before you judge me..." 

        "Jesus, Girl! You make me proud!" 

  Faith was puzzled.  "What are you talking about?" 

        "You finally moved on and moved better this time." 

       "No, no, it's not what you thin..." 

        "I don't want to hear anything else today, best thing I have heard today." 

     Faith watched Nora helplessly. She was so excited about something  Faith wasn't even proud of. Such is life. 

  Dear readers, I'll be posting one chapter a day until 1 May, for certain reasons, please bear with me. 

   Thank you.