KNOWING THE TRUTH

       "Your mom suffered a lot in the hands of your dad. You two suffered too. Your mother was an orphan before she got married to your dad. They met at our local parish in Oak Park. Your mother was a sweet girl, soft-spoken and hardworking, we ran the bookstore together. "

     "Was she from Illinois?" Faith asked. 

    "Yes. She was from Riverdale. When her parents died, she decided to move to Oak Park with me to get a job." 

       "Was my dad from Oak Park?" 

      "Your dad's family moved to Oak Park when he was a teenager, but most of his childhood was in Missouri. He had an elder brother who later left home after high school." 

       "Were his parents Christians, like fanatics?" 

      "I can't tell because I only saw him then in church and school. I only saw him in church once in a while when your mom had to drag me to church and they appeared like nice people but looks are deceptive. It happened that your dad fancied your mom and she was so in love. To her, your dad was an answered prayer, she had always wanted to marry a churchman. Your father and I went to the same high school, but we never spoke to each other. I lived with my mom then at Riverdale, but when she died, I had to come to help my grandmother run the bookstore. 

      "So, I completed my high school here, my senior year. I knew your father, he knew me too, we were not in the same zone, you know what I mean. I was among the fly girls in school and he was one of those kids that were not noticed, although, he was good looking, but he distanced himself. So, I didn't really know him."

     "So, you got to speak with him only when he was with my mother?"

      "When he was wooing your mother, she was always waiting outside for him, as in the front of the bookstore. But whenever he came unannounced, I would see him and we would exchange greetings and I will go and call her." 

      "So, my mother lived with you?" 

      "Yes. She had to stay with me and although my granny and I wouldn't have minded, she decided to work at the bookstore for rent. My grandmother was mostly sick at the time and usually didn't come to the store, so it was practically your mom and I that ran the bookstore. After a few months of courtship, they got married, your mother was young she was just twenty-one and I was worried if she would cope with marriage stress and going into marriage without any stability for herself? I aired my views and that was how I gained myself an enemy—your father. 

      "Few months after their marriage, my granny died and I was left alone with my sister's child. She had fallen in love with this guy from Chicago, he had got her pregnant and left her, so granny had taken her in with the baby and she had died while giving birth to that baby. Granny took care of both of us and Celina. But when granny died, I was saddled with the responsibility of taking care of baby Jenna. Your grandfather died of a stroke a year after the marriage of your parents. 

      "For that one year, I rarely saw your mom, she only dropped by when she was either returning from the market or the salon. As her friend, one day I asked her what her plan was for life? She said her husband was taking good care of her and didn't mind if she worked or not. I was completely against it. I am a feminist and believed a woman shouldn't, you know rely on her husband for every support. Celina would always tease me, saying that I was like that because I had a bookstore passed down to me. 

       "But that wasn't it. I think she got bored of staying home and she started asking your father to let her work. He came up with some excuse of bosses not letting women carry out their wifely duties, she asked him to let her come back to the bookstore but he tagged me a sinner and his mother supported him. She said she never worked throughout her marriage to your grandfather and that your mother should stay at home and knit with her. Celina was a stubborn girl," Rose smiled as she said that with nostalgia. 

      "She didn't give up easily, she started leaving the house when your dad leaves for work to come to the bookstore. We searched for jobs for her as part-time at coffee shops and other places, but they didn't want a part-time staff. Your dad found out about the job hunting..."

       "From his mom?" Faith interrupted. 

   Rose shrugged. "I don't know, but I don't think she told him anything, because that wasn't the first time Celina left the house to hunt for a job. That was the first time he hit her and stopped her from coming to the bookstore. For a couple of weeks, I didn't see Celina, I got worried and decided to visit her, it was your father that answered the door and told me that I should leave Celina alone, that she was married now and that I won't understand what life a married woman had to live. He said I should never come back to his house, that I was a bad influence on his wife and an unbeliever too. He said that she was not going to be equally yoked with sinners like me."

      "He said those to your face?" 

     "He said them to my face on the porch. I didn't even get to go into the house, I stood there by the door and he only opened it a few inches to fit his body." 

       "That was mean. I only thought he was that strict with us. People loved him then, especially in the church." 

      "That was because no one got close enough to your mom to know anything. The way he portrayed holiness, no one would have believed it. After all, he has been with them for years and had served the Lord with all his heart, body and soul. Your mother just came to town a few months and should feel lucky that the most well-talked about bachelor was interested in her when other girls had been there with him for years—that was how it was, no one would have believed your mother even if she had said anything, it was utterly unbelievable."

         Faith took a deep breath and covered her face with her palms. 

       "As time goes by, I couldn't even get in touch with her anymore, your dad answered every phone call and she called one day to say that each time I called, he hits her." 

         Faith was angry. "I don't get it, what was his mother doing all this while?" 

    Rose chuckled. "She was a weary old woman who could only talk but can't do anything. I mean, she would have told someone, but he was her son and that was the difference, but Celina said sometimes she saves her from your father's iron fist. She died of heart failure two years into the marriage and your dad had no one to put the leash on him anymore. He beat your mother at any slightest provocation. 

      "I didn't know about these things. So I decided to go to church to see your mom. That was the only way I could see her, during masses. The first day I saw her in church? I was very glad and sad at the same time. I was glad that she was alive but I was sad when I saw her demeanour. She looked sullen, dull, detached, name it. She was no longer that cheerful girl I used to know. But do you know the worst part of it? Your father gave her a bad name. 

        "She was the bad girl and had only pretended to be a Christian just to get his attention. He played the victim. He hadn't known she was so worldly and he had married her. She wasn't the ideal wife. Almost everyone in Oak Park was a churchgoer, they believed him and your mother was tagged the bad egg."

       "Jesus Christ," Faith said. 

       "That was the story of their beginning. Then, your mother wrote to me every week and gives it to me on Sundays. I would send little Jenna to go get it from her when your father closes his eyes in prayer. Your mother always sat at the edge of the pew, so that your father won't have to see when Jenna sneaks up. I still have those later, down to the last one she wrote to me before I got married." Rose stood up and started going towards the stairs. 

        Faith relaxed back in her seat and let out a puff. She couldn't believe it. Her father had even been a control freak. Why would he have to play the victim? Letting people believe her mother was the bad one? It was uncalled for. She knew her mother, she was a sweet soul yet... She remembered how people had always greeted her father in church and the way they looked at her mother. So her father had been the golden boy? Without sin? 

        Rose returned with a think manila file and handed it to Faith. Those were the letters your mom wrote to me every Sunday. I didn't know the reason I kept them at first, but then, I thought I would use them to expose your dad one day, but I didn't get to do that because your mom took in in their fourth year of marriage and gave birth to Joshua. He was a bundle of joy and according to her letters, your dad became nice and never did touch her for that time. I guess this was the reason I kept them after all."

        Faith removed the bundle of sheets that were inside the file. They were brown papers, rumpled with age and she opened one of them. She recognised her mom's handwriting from all the many homework she had written for her. 

       "You can take your time to go through them at your leisure." 

      Faith nodded in agreement and put back those papers into the file. Tears had already welled up in her eyes, she blinked them away and looked up at Rose. "My mom said something about her being the cause of my father's beatings, what does that mean?" 

        Rose smiled a bitter-sweet smile. "She was stubborn and won't let your dad influence her decisions, most of them." 

         "What kind of decisions?" 

         "Mostly decisions about you and Joshua. Like there was a time your father said you were going to become a nun."

          "What?! A nun?!" 

   Rose nodded. "A nun, like you would go live in the convent. Your mother disagreed completely. She received beatings because of that but she still stood her ground, saying your dad should let you grow and take that decision yourself." 

     Faith remembered that day. It was the day Joshua had shown her his happy place. She still couldn't believe it. A nun? she kept asking in her head. 

        "That was the first and only time Father Bernard had agreed with your mother. He told your father to let you grow and make the decision yourself because your mother threatened divorce." 

        Faith was shocked as she remembered the day her father asked her that question if she would want to become a nun, a month after their mother had left. She would have nodded if Joshua had not signalled her to say no with his eyes. That was when his attitude towards her changed drastically. 

        "Was that why he always said like mother like daughter?" Faith muttered to herself, looking down confused. 

         "Huh?" Rose asked. 

    Faith looked up at her. "Nothing... I just thought about something. What else do you know? I remember a time you met her in church, we were all there and mom left with you while dad greeted an elderly man. When we got home, dad beat mom because of that and she bleed." 

     Rose's eyes were suddenly filled with tears, she blinked them away. "Oh, I remember that day vividly too. She had come to tell me that she was pregnant again." 

         "What?!" Faith gasped as it hit her, she had known what happened even without Rose saying it. Her mother had lost that pregnancy after that beating. 

    Rose nodded. "She didn't want your father to know about it and she told me that she wanted to get rid of him, like kill him. She didn't want her children to keep suffering, she didn't want her third child to come into the world and suffer." 

       "Why didn't she just leave for Pete's sake!" Faith cried. 

       "She couldn't leave because of you!" Rose was shedding tears now. "She couldn't leave because of the both of you. She knew your father was more powerful than her in that town. He was the nation's pride remember? Saint Alfred. He would win her in court because the judges would give him custody over you two." 

    Faith offered her a tissue. Rose drew out a few and dabbed her eyes and blew her nose. Faith took out her handkerchief and wiped her own tears.

    After a while, Rose sniffed and continued. "I tried to talk her out of killing him, she should leave instead but her mind was made up already and she wanted him to die a slow and painful death, for all the pain he inflicted on her, I guess that's what you get from a bitter woman, who's love and turned to hatred. She asked me to get her some flowers so that she could plant them in the backyard. I never knew they were poisonous until I heard what had happened—I can't really remember the name of that flower. She didn't get to use it because he kicked her and killed that baby. 

        "Your mother was mad when she realised she had lost her baby, she was vexed and wanted nothing more but to kill your dad. All that possessed her thoughts was the yearning to kill him, she didn't want to talk to him, she just wanted him dead, so she got those flowers—belladonna, that's the name and she planted them and cooked up a portion with it. She put a drop in his meals for a week and he had that seizure that landed him in hospital.

      "The doctors found out it was poison from belladonna and was able to neutralise the poison. When your mother was confronted, because she was bitter and had lost touch, she owned up to it. She was accepted and told them that she wanted him dead so that she could be free. They thought she was mentally unstable and your dad suggested she might have been using narcotics without his knowledge and he filed for divorce and charged her to court. All this while, I didn't know what was happening. She went to court with him and pleaded guilty to the crime. 

       "Your father told the court to give him the custody of the children since their mother was a crack head and could harm them if she was losing it. Instead of sending her to prison, they took her to an asylum. She wrote to me twice from there and I didn't hear from her again. I couldn't use those letters because your father was a manipulator and I don't know how he would manipulate the masses since Celina wasn't even there anymore to defend herself and she had been tagged a crack head. He got a restraining order and a few years after that, he left Oak Park with you."

       Goosebumps had covered Faith's body by the time Rose was done with the story. She stood up immediately and went outside. Rose who thought she was going to throw up or cry hard followed her, but she beckoned on Ethan who rushed out of the car and took her in an embrace, leaving Rose staring at them in confusion."