CAUGHT RED-HANDED

       Faith woke up and realised that she was not lying on the bed alone. She opened her eyes, the room was bright and the curtains were not drawn. She looked by her side and saw Ethan lying still asleep beside her. Her head was propped on his upraised arm. She decided to use that opportunity to look at him but his eyes flared open and she quickly removed her eyes, feeling like a thief caught red-handed. 

      "Were you peeking at my face?" Ethan asked. 

      She shifted uncomfortably and cleared her throat.  "I just woke up and this was the angle my face was facing." 

      He smiled still looking at her. She refused to look up, her face burning with embarrassment at being caught red-handed. 

       "Can you look at me for a while? I want to say something," Ethan said.  Faith looked up at him.  "You are beautiful when you sleep. You know that?" 

      A blush appeared on her face and she made the first attempt to talk but her throat was suddenly dry. She cleared it.  "So, you were watching me sleep?" 

       "Yes. I wish I could watch you sleep every day, I just want to wake up by your side." He turned and lay on his side, facing her.

      A flicker of need followed quickly by desire sifted through her. She looked him in the eyes. She liked him because he was always so truthful about what he felt for her, he doesn't hide anything or try to manoeuvre their discussions. To her it was selfless. But could she trust him to love her to the end? It always starts beautiful, sweet, and breathtaking, but as time goes by, they realize that she wasn't maybe the one for them. 

       She decided to say what she felt just for once. What she knew was true.  "You look gorgeous when you wake up." 

     He barked out a laugh and turned his head to look at the ceiling, then he returned his gaze to her.  "For a while, I thought you were coming back to your senses. You do realize that you are lying in bed beside me, naked under these sheets?" 

      She chuckled lightly.  "What if I am fully aware?" 

      "And you know you are not dreaming right?" 

  She stared at him for a while. She could just risk it all and tell him how she felt. But that was too much for her, she would be grabbing the bull by the horn and she didn't think she was stable enough to do that. But they can't continue like this, she was only going to hurt him and she felt she was using him too. 

       "What are you thinking about?" he asked and stroked a strand of her hair that had fallen on her forehead away. 

     "Ethan," she called. Her voice came out almost in a whisper.   "I am a mess right now, I have a lot going on right now in my life. Sometimes, I feel I am lost. I need to find myself, I need to know who I am and what exactly I want..." 

       "I don't think I have told you before," he said stroking her cheek.  "I don't care, but I will wait." 

      She stared at him and felt the urge to run her fingers through his rumpled brown hair, but she held herself back.   "You do know that promises are made to be broken." 

       "I'm not making you a promise. This is a certainty." His pool of green eyes was serious.  "At least for now." He bent his head and kissed her. 

       The next thing Faith knew, they were making love all over again. This time, when they finished, Ethan got up and went to the shower and Faith was about to wrap the bed sheet around herself and go to the kitchen to make coffee when the living room door opened and closed. She froze and glanced toward Ethan's bathroom. 

      "Are you expecting someone?" she asked. 

      "No, are you?" Ethan called from the bathroom. 

      "I think someone just came in through the front door. Did you not lock it last night?" 

        "We didn't lock it last night. We were pretty busy." 

       "Don't put it on us! Shit! Who could be here this early?" Faith asked rhetorically and went to the door. She opened it to a crack and peeped. 

      Her heart flew when she saw Nora walking towards her room, looking around the living room. 

      "Shit shit shit," Faith said as she saw her clothes and Ethan's clothes all over the living room. She placed her hand on her head and slid down the door.  "Oh, God, kill me now." 

        "Who is at the door?!" Ethan called from the bathroom, trying to raise his voice above the water splattering on the floor. 

       "Shh! Shh," Faith hushed and ran towards the bathroom door.  "Keep quiet, I'm about to think." 

       "Think about what?" 

       "Faith! Faith! Where are you girl?!" Nora's voice called from the living room. 

        "Damnit!" Faith exclaimed. She didn't have any clothes to cover herself up and wearing Ethan's clothes would make it more suspicious.  She heard the doors of her room and the kitchen open and close. She knew if she stayed there any longer, Nora would barge into Ethan's room and that would do more harm than good. 

      She slowly opened the door of her room and walked out like a child caught red-handed stealing milk. Nora stood in the centre of the living room, holding a paper bag and looking at her. She raised her head. 

       "Nora, what are you doing here so early?" 

       "Well, good morning to you too," Nora said and headed towards the kitchen. "Besides, it's past ten in the morning. I'm sure the night was so good that you overslept." 

     Faith followed her.  "It's not what you think, Nora." 

     Nora turned to her with a teasing smile.  "What should I think?" 

      Faith taught of lying that they made out, but there was no sex, but Ethan's door flung open and he came out with only a towel wrapped around his waist. 

      "Faith, who is there...?" He stopped when he saw Nora.  "Hi, Nora." 

     Faith looked down in shame. She was not ashamed that she made love with Ethan again, she was just ashamed recalling when she had been so sure of herself in front of Nora, telling her that nothing would ever happen between her and Ethan. Even the first time they had intercourse, she had told Nora that it was never going to happen again and she had blamed it on drink. She felt more like a hypocrite. 

      "Can you go wear something, please? You are too hot to behold," Nora said. 

       "Oh, I'm sorry." Ethan went back into the room immediately.

   Nora looked at Faith whose face was red with shame.  "My girlfriend, I brought your favourite, jambalaya. Get dressed and come to the dining let's eat." She went inside the kitchen. 

     Faith huffed and slumped down on a sofa.  She didn't even realise it was past ten in the morning. Nora poked her head from the kitchen door. 

      "Girlfriend, are you going to come into the kitchen and tell me all about it or should I get the full story from Ethan at the dining?!"

       "What?!" Faith exclaimed and shot up from the sofa.  "I am going to strangle you right now!" 

     She went towards the kitchen, when she entered, Nora took her in an embrace and almost choked her breath out of her. She pulled away from her and looked her in the eyes. 

      "I'm so proud of you, girl." 

  Faith didn't know why Nora was proud of her.  "Why?" 

     "Tell me all about it. Is it official now?" 

    "Is what official?" Faith sighed.  "Nora, just stop." 

    Nora sighed and scowled.  "You are such a sadist." 

      "What? You are calling me a sadist?" 

       "Why can't you just say yes? Just agree with me." 

       "But I'm saying the truth, nothing is official. We were just caught up in the moment." 

      Nora made a face and put the bowl of jambalaya in the microwave.  "Whatever." 

       "Why did you come to my house unannounced? You should have called first." 

       "So that you would dress up and pretend nothing happened?" 

      "I don't...I don't pretend." 

      "Oh, yes you do, baby girl. If not, you won't pretend you don't have any feelings for him." Nora took out three ceramic plates and placed them on the counter. 

       "I have never denied being attracted to Ethan, I'm just not ready."

        "Ready for what, exactly? Faith have you not moved on yet?" 

         "From Noah, yes, from the past, no." 

    Nora looked at her and her face became sombre.  "Faith, you are still scared?" 

       "Not really scared... I just...I just want to know who I am and what I really want. Ethan...Ethan is just here and I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to go into something that will end up in shambles, you know. I don't want to hurt him, I don't want to use him. This is the only thing I am scared of, I don't want to push him away."

    Nora spread her arm s. "Come here," she said. Faith went into her arms.  "I love you." 

       "I love you too," Faith replied.