As I storm out of the hospital area from where my mates stayed beyond, my feelings were indescribable. For so long I had imagined what it would be like when I finally saw them again. I had imagined ridding myself of the pain that has plagued me for so long. Knowing now that I will never have that chance, its almost worse than all the pain that I have been carrying around for years.
I would walk around my room at the facility in tears from the loss of the bond. Each night was cold and filled with so much pain that I thought it would never end. Trying to get out of bed was a momentous effort. Eating became a chore instead of a pleasurable act. Life was lived just to get through the day instead of finding moments of enjoyment.