What To Feel

How did I ever get so lucky?" Emily asked in wonder as she kissed him, Jackson had picked her up from the hospital to his house. He even made dinner for her that night, and he filled the house with flowers for her.

 "I'm the lucky one," he said, looking at her with wonder. "I've missed you so, so much… tell me you didn't have any fun without me."

"Six months, babe," she wrapped her arms around his neck with a pout, and he chuckled. "Sadly I didn't… I was mostly busy with work and in my free time, I hang out with Collette and the girls in the sauna... I guess I even developed a new hobby."

 "hmm-mm, and what is that?" he asked with his hands dropping to her waist.

 "Shopping," she said and he chuckled.

 "speaking of shopping… I got you something special."

 "hmm… special?... I love special." She teased as he pulled her along to the bedroom.

 "I know you do," he grinned, "because you are special and I love you insanely," he raised her chin to look into her eyes. "I'd like to establish some ownership here." Before she knew it he was on a knee, opening a small black box that carried this beautiful, magnificent diamond ring, and his expression was so serious.  

 "Will you marry me, Emily Decker?" He looked as though he were about to cry from all the emotion pouring, and Emily felt moved to tears as he said it.

 She was quiet for a moment, she didn't believe this was happening, "yes, I will." She said quietly he put the ring on her finger and then kissed her. She had always dreamt of this moment and how the excitement would explode in her. But it wasn't as she thought it would be, she hoped to feel more than what she felt right now. Or maybe wrong timing. But of course, her love for him hasn't changed, she stared at the ring around her finger, again and again, whether it was now or never.

 "It is beautiful," she whispered, but it felt weird. Saying Yes to him after months of sleeping with someone else. It wasn't something done mistakenly, which would have been a very silly excuse, but it happened over and over, and she liked it.

 "You are beautiful," he said and kissed her neck, and pulled her closer to him. She spurned his advances and pulled away.

 "Jack… I—I had a long day at work today," she took a few steps backward and rubbed her nape.

 "Sure you did," he smiled, moved closer to her, and placed a kiss on her temple. "You should relax, take a warm shower…"

 "Yeah, sure." She kissed him back and he left the room. With a sigh of relief, she took off her shoes and freed her hair from the ponytail it had been in all day, then undressed. She went into the bathroom and filled the bath, touching the water to feel the temperature against her skin. She turned to the mirror above the sink, and wiped the steam off the surface so she could see herself clearly in the mirror, then she caught sight of a hickey on her arm. She slid her fingers across it, remembering the shot of desire she felt when Kieran nipped her skin the night before, sex with him was incredible. She let out a frustrated sigh, dropped her towel, and dipped herself in the bath, drowning her muse. What she had going on had to stop, Jackson was here now, and she wouldn't want to jeopardize anything between them. Now that she had his ring on her finger. He was the man she loved and she knew that the first day she set her eyes on him four years ago, that he loved her too. Although their relationship had its ups and downs, Jackson's gambling problems and the alleged affair with some tart. But they were past all that, their lives were back on track, and they could remain like that.

 The next morning Emily woke up to Jack's slow kisses caressing her neck, shoulder, and arm; she was on her side and he was lying close up behind her, he'd been staring at her for a while as she slept.

"Sleeping beauty awakes," Jack drawled in an indulgent tone. "What happen to your arm?" He asked softly as he let his fingers circle the red mark on her arm slowly.

 "Oh…" she rubbed the spot and got off the bed. " got that from work, bumped into a door when I was rushing to a patient." Then she glanced at the time, "Shit! I'm late… eight-thirty, seriously? Why didn't you wake me?" She hurried to the bathroom.

 "You looked tired, I wanted you to get the rest you needed," he said after her, getting off the bed, he leaned on the bathroom door to watch her. "And precise, I was enjoying the view," He grinned.

 "Of course you were," she rinsed her mouth after brushing, peeling off the shirt she wore. "Would you call me an Uber since my car is at the mechanic, Jack?" she tossed over her shoulder. "I'll be showered and dressed, ready to go in fifteen minutes."

 "No Uber," he said, "I'll drive you there myself."

 "Alright, babe."

 He strode into his dressing room to throw some clothes on. He had a lot on his mind too, especially from the trip. Ever since he got involved with her father as his investor, things had changed. Richard was a far more complicated man than anyone could imagine. Few people thought he was just involved with drugs years back, and yes, he cleared the allegations and claimed they were just rumors. Which gave him enough opportunity to dive into politics, but the old man was into more shit than that, his hands were way messier. And now for the past five years, he'd been stuck with him.

  After dropping Emily at the hospital, he decided to stop by the Chadville. He slowed and turned the Porsche between the massive stone pillars that marked the entrance to Chadville, the Decker's Miami estate. Cruising past the palms lining the drive to a palatial mansion, he tried to ignore the knot that had formed in his stomach. The same way it formed five years ago. After his bankruptcy, the best friend he had hoped to turn to, was really at the edge of quite a lot of things, it would have even been a bad idea to add his mess to his table. So he had to run to the devil himself, Richard Decker III.

 Two things happened that day he came here, but the greatest was meeting Emily; Richard's daughter. They met just right outside those huge doors, she was so beautiful and elegant, then she bumped into him, sending all the files he carried flying. Her smile and her eyes were something he'd never experienced until that day.

 And Richard. He was able to pull him out of the bankruptcy he'd brought upon himself from all the heavy gambling. Richard paid off all his debts, or whatever he did to keep the creditors away, and he was finally able to pick up his business around Miami, and open a huge thriving nightclub with Richard as his investor.

 But now it got him into more deep shit than gambling. More shit like; drugs, money laundering, and trafficking; trafficking was new, it happened on his last trip. Richard told him he had to go secure one of his products to Vegas which was a normal thing he did usually, but he was naïve to think they were just drugs he should always expect as usual, until he got to his conveying site and found young girls in Vans. He was already in a mess running drugs and money through his club, he had police sniffing around these last few years, but because of Richard's influence, it kept the feds off for a while since he ran the whole thing.

 His bodyguard searched him before stepping foot in the mansion, Richard was a very protected man, even his cars were bulletproof because he knew any bullet could come for him at any time. Running the business made him tons of billions and tons of enemies as well. People have tried to knock him off the top.

 "Jacky boy!" The icy voice called as he approached. "I wasn't expecting you to be back so soon… look at me thinking you'd still be having a nice time in Vegas after a job well done."

 "You should have told me what I was getting into!" Jackson glared, and the suited bodyguards in the lounge eased for their weapons.

 "Easy boys," Richard called off the guards. "let us give Jacky boy here his freedom of speech." He said with a sarcastic smile. "I think your first approach was a mistake, how about you start all over, how about you place your reaction very carefully… mmm."

 "Human trafficking, really?… really?" Jackson heaved a deep sigh, Frustrated, he paced back and forth and turned back to Richard, still keeping a distance. "I should have known… you know what, I think I'm –"

"Tsk—tsk, you don't want to finish that sentence Jacky boy," he cut him before he could finish, Richard's eyes flashed a warning as he moved across the room. "You are a smart boy jack, and brave, I knew I could trust you with business. Five hundred dollars a day per girl… is worth what—200k a year… that shipment you delivered, Is worth two million dollars a year." He said as he went to the bar hidden behind a sliding mahogany panel and fixed himself a drink.

 Jackson was awestruck by the estimation he just made. That's a lot of money, he thought.

He took a moment to appraise Richard. The old man had aged. Not that he wasn't still an impressive figure. The expensive cut of his hand-tailored suit outlined his great posture, Richard made sure to keep trim through regular dates on tennis and racquetball courts. Good health was his priority, this much wealth was something he plan to enjoy for a long time; anyone could tell with the lifestyle, the golden rings, and others, even though there was tons of it reserved for his children, there was still plenty to spend.

 Finally, Richard took a sip of the neat bourbon he'd poured and faced him, "Don't give me that look!" The Old man snapped, "Tell me Jacky boy, why are you here?"

 Why am I here, Jackson asked himself, I can't step out—I can't, what will happen to the club, my reputation, what will happen to him?

 Richard scoffed as he watched Jackson stand there in bemuse, he walked back to him with the glass of whiskey in his hands, closed the gap between them, and slap a hand on his shoulder, while the other hand clinks his ring against the glass. "You do realize I made a deal with your creditors to buy you enough time to get back on your feet, right?… what do you think will happen when I pull off my deal and hand them their debtor… tsk—tsk—" Richard grinned "—that attitude can make me, you know… but I like you Jacky boy. Emily loves you a lot, and I'm trying to be a good daddy here, I am… I've lost one of my children, I'm trying to make things right with the other one. I'm not about to go down either road with Emily."

 Jackson swallowed as Richard squeezed his shoulder. He was right, he had the power to ruin him, how could he forget that?

 "I proposed to Emily." He said softly.

 "And?"

 "She Said Yes."

 "Bravo Jacky boy... Now see that's how this conversation was supposed to start," Richard's grin became wider, "Ah—ah… Now that's interesting… a good way to keep a closer eye on you. Come son-in-law," he said, gesturing him to walk with him. "lets talk about the engagement party… then we can talk about thriving that business."

 Emily left the hospital at lunch to go see Kieran at his hotel office. The fifteen-story building of The Dove hotel, stood tall and shining as always, the bright blue sky reflected through it. Some places inside were being redecorated, she could tell from the handymen around in jumpers, and safety helmets. The hotel was closed for a few days for safety reasons, so the place wasn't stuffed up, just a few staff, handymen, and engineers. She walked past the fantabulous fountain out front and sauntered into the enormous large glass doors. The lobby was huge, and the interior was spectacular, the hotel was designed by one of the most famous architects in Florida. She approached one of the staff at the reception and asked to meet Mr. Davis.

 "Do you have an appointment?" the receptionist asked.

 "Yes," she nodded and he punched some numbers in the telephone on the counter.

 "your name please?" He asked holding the phone to his ear.

 "Emily Decker." She replied and he repeated the name to the person on the other end of the phone. And after a brief conversation, he nodded and handed her a key card.

Emily walked into Kieran's office, the view was magnificent from up there, now she knew why he said he came up there to clear his mind and stay away from all the craziness, it was soothing. She stood there listening to the interminable buzz of the Phone. It was like an annoying insect, she thought numbly. He might be hiding out here in his hotel, but people still didn't leave him alone.

Only he had no intention of talking to anyone. He lifted the receiver and instructed someone to filter his calls until further notice, his tone short and clipped. Then he dropped the phone back into its cradle and turned his attention to her.

"What have we here?" He lounged in his chair, and threw his charming grin, "Miss me?"

She straightened her shoulders looking serious. "We need to talk."

 "Alright…" His tone silky smooth, he leaned forward. "I'm listening—shoot."

 She took a deep breath, avoiding his gaze. "We need to stop this."

 Kieran raised a brow questioningly, sat back, and studied her unsettle-ness, "ok." He said simply. And it was quiet for a few seconds.

 Hurt by his simplicity, she stood there wondering if that was all he was going to say… ok? She stared at him for a while, expecting him to say more.

 Kieran throbbed with concentrated, full-on sex appeal and masculine supremacy. Sitting right there looking that way, her mouth went dry suddenly. "That's all you're going to say?"

 "I can't believe you just asked me that," he said, and his eyes didn't shift from her face but his fingers drummed an impatient rhythm on the table. "What do you expect me to say?"

She chewed her lip. "I suppose I just expected something more than just ok."

 "Sorry to disappoint you then… I guess I don't have a better reply." He said getting up from the chair, then he noticed the ring on her finger.

 "So when will you introduce me to this boyfriend—oh, fiance of yours?" she shot him a look that could peel paint off the wall and he chuckled. "Ouch! That's disappointing—anyways, please accept my warmest congratulations!" he said Pointing at the ring.

  She scoffed and sauntered towards the window, "You see forever from up here."

 "I guess I do." His voice was soft and he moved close behind her. "Are you happy?" He whispered and she felt his breath on her neck.

 His question shot through her like a needle, she turned to face him. There was this Sexual chemistry. It simmered between them, providing an undercurrent that heated the atmosphere.

 "Of course I am, and the only thing that could jeopardize that… is this… me and you...Us."

 "Us?" A humorless smile touched his firm mouth. The word had intimate connotations that chilled him to the bone And dampened his libido more effectively than any rainstorm. "There is no us."