White Ash

As white ash; almost as if snow fell from the sky, I sat at the grown up table, "So how many was it this time? Anyone keeping score, Toi?" one of the soldiers ask.

Looking at the rifle in my lap, "Peu plus d'une centaine," I spoke freely as he's looking at me, I don't like being punished for keeping quite, so I'll speak.

"A little over a hundred huh?" he questioned my mark.

But then coming around, another soldier grabbed me by the shoulders, hugging me tightly, "Yup, it doesn't feel like it because we have such a cute shooter, don't we~" the woman said tightening her squeeze, and they laughed.

But I didn't. I couldn't. I seriously couldn't think of it.

What would my brothers and sisters think of me.

I'm supposed to be the one who sets examples.

And this isn't one that I'd like for them either.

But if it was up to me, they'd never come.

They'd never even become soldiers.

Not like this... And not like me.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Several days had passed since "The Incident".

It's been a little over a week, and I've been asleep the entire time, on the floor next to the hunters corpse. It's already become cold and grey, telling me time of kill.

That was this morning, and after waking up nine days since the hunter incident, sure, regrets overwhelmed me instantaneously, but my hunger was stronger.

I almost went into a frenzy earlier, and it took a lot out of me to heal my weakened body: teared lip, the stake wound on my side, and the bullet wound, it took way too much energy out of me, so I had to rest greatly.

Going out after changing into something not covered in blood, I found a small animal outside to sink into.

Coming back, I showered, rinsing the filth off me as I still had to put the body into something. It's dark out, so taking his stuff and putting it into a larger casing, I made my way to the local cemetery near the bank.

Where I buried him until the sun came arose.

And that's. . .

Where I am now, reaking of soil and sweat, hands numb after hours of digging, and I just want to go.

I want to go home and rest, not think of this, an sleep.

But I can't, while digging I realized I couldn't do that...

Because I seriously don't wanna loose my apartment!

. . .A Few Hours Later And Another Shower. . .

After going home, showering, and finding something to cover up the blood on my floor. I used this really good powder that clears strong stains, then left.

But going out, I hesitated, cause, I need to...

Sigh... Go to work.

I've been gone too long apparently, Charlie must have said I was unwell to the boss, because he still hasn't called me. The only few who had, was... Megan.

And the rest of the girls in white I guess?

But I can't run away from my problems, the worse part of this society like every is money, and I kind of need it if I wanna keep this apartment, so now I have to go in.

But the blood bank, I... I don't know. I remember all that happened after the incident, and I don't know how I'm going to face them, I shot at them. Shot...

Closing my eyes, I need to apologize, deeply.

But first, I need to apologize to Charlie.

Then go to the blood bank and feed.

Leaving my apartment, I felt ashamed, but then again, I was being hunted, and I have no regrets for warning them, but for what I did to him, that's just forever.

And why'd I have that dream again, it was long ago.

Sighing, I took the bus and made it to work, a little bit later than usual, and when I came in, I saw exactly the guy I was looking for. The coast is clear too in here.

So walking in, he went to greet, but seeing me, tired and glaring at him, he froze up, and looking at him as I'm sort of depressed, I said, "We need to have a talk"

Making him gulp as he looked afraid, afraid of me...

And breaking my heart, I walked to the breakroom, glancing back to him putting up a temporary closed sign. His hands trembled, he must be terrified to do this. Guess he's thinking I'm here to silence him.

Following me in, I sat at the table and said...

But cutting me off, "I know what you are Catherine, it wasn't too hard to piece it together," he said, and just locking my jaw, I lowered my head and uttered out.

"Punch me"

Taken aback, "What?" He flinched.

"I said hit me, as hard as you'd like!" I screamed it.

And looking up, with tears in my eyes, "I need to be punished, I hurt you, scared you, almost sunk my fangs into you, treated you exactly as livestock!"

Throwing my hand out, he stepped up to me, and as I was going to say more, *Slap!* He slapped me, dead in the face, and looking up, he looked down at me in such a manner, that was scared but moreso worried.

Hugging me tightly, getting me to freeze, "Shut up dummy! Don't say stuff like that!" making me melt from his words, he pushed himself up, holding me by my shoulders, but then I chuckled as a tear fell.

"Dummy, act like that and I might fall for you," I tried filtering my sadness with their jokes, but seeing him flush like that, I relized I flirted but was too... Shook.

Well, more like slapped seconds ago.

But looking away from me, "Stop, and stop starving yourself too, we're friends, if you would've told me a while ago, I would've helped you. Catherine, we're friends," he said with a slight blush, freak vanishing.

"We are?" I questioned.

And snapping his head at me, "Yes! We are now, you blood fiend," taken aback by this, "Eeh!" But shaking his head, "Now get your shit together so we can work" he said sophisticatedly, but I just squinted my eyes.

"Yeah..." Well, I guess we've made up?

This is surprisingly way too easy, what the heck?

*Meanwhile as she was sitting there on the table, just looking at him confused, he was flushed as he was a mythical fanatic, and this was kinda a dream of his...*

"How... How should I even... I don't know wh-" but as I was talking he shook me by my shoulders and said to me, "Who cares, go man the desk, talk to me a bunch more, and like fuck, tell me you past, I wanna hear it all!" He said, but then I looked away, "I can't do that"

But with a spark now in his eyes, "Maybe one day! But still, we both have a shift to do, alright, let's grab some coffee after this and talk, that's alright with you, yea?"

Seeing him shine with light and not disgust, I couldn't decline, but... Me broke. "I..." How do I say this, "Don't fret, it's on me, so now you have to go out with me~"

Not getting his logic, "Okay..." Do I have a choice?

But before I could go, or get up, he looked at me with a questioning gaze, "Actually, before we do go back out there, you should probably eat something?"

Telling me this like I'm not trying to later today at the blood bank, he started undoing his tie, but as he did and he started loosening his neck, I grabbed him.

And tightly holding his shoulders in tern, "No..." I said quickly, and slightly drooling as he was just offering this to me, I couldn't control myself. If I feed now.

I'll kill him.

Seeing this, he sighed, *Persistent for his own desire* and letting go to grab my face, he said sternly as he held my chin making me look up into his eyes.

"You compelled me last time, I can't snitch on you. So the least you can do is let me help, now Catherine, I want you to eat, be healthy and strong, for yourself, can you do that for me, if not even for yourself"

Gulping, I played into his damn trap.