Inner turmoil

"There are two people I know my brother loves more than himself, our mother and his wife; they are the two greatest loves of his life." Aemond Targaryen

110 AC

Alicent Pov

Pacing back and forth in my chambers, I could only wait as I hoped that my son returned safely. That reckless fool obsessed with those flying lizards like the rest of the Targaryens

He nearly died trying to tame that wretched beast on Dragonstone. His dragon egg may have failed to hatch, but that didn't make him any less a Targaryen. He would not see it that way, even though he has the eyes of the old king. He's not satisfied. "People talk, mother, and I refused to be mocked by sheep for not having my birthright," he had said.

Couldn't he understand he didn't need to claim it now? Daemon didn't claim Carxes until much later in his life, nor did Meagor; they are no less Targaryen for it, but no, since Rheanyra was the youngest dragon rider ever, he refuses not to ride a dragon young. She will not best me in anything," he said again. His recklessness pushed through as he practically kills himself in the tanning yard every day as he observes father day in and day out as he does his tasks. He's obsessive and can't let go. He needs to realise that holding on can sometimes hurt more than letting go.

Why, in seven names, can't he go back to being the child who clung to me every waking moment of the day? That was far better than him obsessing over a sword and dragon.

Practice may make perfect, but obsession destroys men's minds, bodies, and souls. It can whittle their spirits down to nothing as they run into the same wall over and over again, and till they break, can't he see that he will get a dragon when it's his time and not a moment sooner?

Knock knock

The echoing sound breaks me from my thoughts as I rush to the door and practically rip it off its hinges. Behind it was my son, covered in dust and looking worse for wear. He resembled a street urchin more than a prince in this sorry state.

Behind him was Emilia, his personal maid, and Ser Harold. I grasped his hand tightly and commanded the two to leave, and they followed their instructions as they left the corridor outside my chambers. I dragged my son into my chamber.

Mother, I was...smack, I know it was wrong...smack, I'm sorry. I sapped him again and again and again until she was silent and looking at me, just looking quietly.

"NO MORE ARE YOU ALLOWED TO TRAIN FOR AS LONG AS YOU DO ONLY FOUR HOURS A DAY AND NO LONGER CAN YOU TRAVERSE THE CASTLE UNSUPERVISED EMILIA OR MYSELF OF A KINGSGUARD SHALL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU OTHERWISE YOU ARE CONFINED TO YOUR CHAMBERS WHICH WILL NOW BE MOVED RIGHT NEXT TO MINE DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR" I screamed at my son, and he just nodded as I scolded him.

That's when the floodgates opened as I darted towards him and hugged him close to my chest in a crushing embrace as the tears streamed down my face as I let go of the storm of emotions that had built up since the moment Lord Larys told me what my son had since the moment I feared I may lose him forever to the jaws of those foul beasts.

Aemon

I just stood there, letting her let go of all her pent-up emotions. This outcome was well within my calculations, though it is a shame that Dreamfyre is not to be mine. It seems she and Sunfyre don't see me as a worthy rider. Fortunately, dragons are not low in quantity in this era. I will just need to try another one.

I felt the grasp on me loosen as she finally let go of me. Her ebony hair was dishevelled, her eyes puffy and wet, and her skin was a soft pink. She took a moment to gather herself and then cleared her throat.

"What in the seven hells were you thinking about doing something so foolish? I thought you were blessed by the wisdom of the seven, but it seems those beasts make you lose all reason, so Aemon answered me," she said in a stern voice.

Her words may have been harsh, but her voice was still as sweet as honey. Thinking of the best way to frame my thoughts, I contemplated and answered in a low voice, "I can't take it anymore. All the Lords and ladies at the court mock me behind my back for not having a dragon and lacking the silver hair of my ancestors. They say that Rheanyra is a truer Targaryen than me, and it's no wonder father didn't name me Heir." This was true in some aspects. I was mocked by Rheanyra and her lickspittles for lacking a dragon, and there were rumours about why the old fool hadn't named me Hire. None of them ever grasped the true reason for him being blinded by his guilt for the wife and son he killed, although they were useful now to make a more sympathetic case for her to understand my "plight."

None of these amounted to anything consequential, as these were the ramblings of low-level nobles who would turn at the drop of a hat and turn they would. I would ensure that with my future achievements, but I needed a dragon for security unless someone gets the bright idea to send me to the watch or to disband the marriage Otto Tyland and Jason agreed to in secret. A nuke is a great bargaining chip, and one that I need to do certain things I have planned and to get more freedom than I have now.

I watched as a look of concern washed over her. "My sweet boy, none of what they say matters; pay them no mind; and remember, your life is worth far more than any dragon," she said softly as she stroked my hair.

A warm feeling encompassed my body no matter how many times she touched me. The euphoric feeling only felt better. She truly was a gem and was mine, my mother, but I knew I had to lay the groundwork for her to want to take the throne. She's not as naive and restrained as the Alicent in the show, but she's still not booked Alicent; she's somewhere in between, so I need to plant the seeds for rebellion in her mind now.

"Mother, why didn't Father name me Heir like all the Lords do their firstborn sons?" I spoke in an inquisitive yet low voice

THE END

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