Chapter 29: Breakdown

You are constantly told in depression that your judgment is compromised, but a part of depression is that it touches cognition. That you are having a breakdown does not mean that your life isn't a mess. If there are issues you have successfully skirted or avoided for years, they come cropping back up and stare you full in the face, and one aspect of depression is a deep knowledge that the comforting doctors who assure you that your judgment is bad are wrong. You are in touch with the real terribleness of your life. You can accept rationally that later, after the medication sets in, you will be better able to deal with the terribleness, but you will not be free of it. When you are depressed, the past and future are absorbed entirely by the present moment, as in the world of a three-year-old. You cannot remember a time when you felt better, at least not clearly; and you certainly cannot imagine a future time when you will feel better."

—Andrew Solomon, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression

"Live boldly and rejoice in work is a worthy mantra for enduring a life that will ultimately break the fibrous soul." —Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

***

Since the wound on Xenia's leg was fairly shallow, all they had to do was patch it up with a clean cloth and proceed on their little detour after being faced against the monstrous grizzly bears.

As minutes passed by, silence in the woods became stagnant, ironic to how the cool breeze was constantly sweeping and flowing from everywhere.

Patiently, Xenia waited for both Arlan and Thaniel to voluntarily speak up and tell him what actually occurred back in his house as he watched Bandit and Mischief freely and easily flap their wings in the blue yonder.

The siblings both have to assist Xenia from each side, lending their helping hand with Xenia's arms wrapped around each of their shoulders. They tread and tread on their path, coming across confused townspeople every now and then. And each of these people would hysterically mumble, "food... Hungry... Must eat."

It has only been a day and yet the famine among them was greater and the scarcity of food on the island was somehow turning people into mindless zombies running around. Although some of them were still in their right minds, soon, hunger would take over their body and mind, which would eventually lead to insanity.

Xenia grew impatient with his friends.

"Well, isn't it about time you guys start telling me the story?"

The brothers looked at each other, worried about something and Xenia quickly caught on to it.

"Uh, how should we begin?"

"Why don't we start with Franzia and Zeb first?" Arlan suggested.

Although he does not seem angry or annoyed, Xenia could feel a fire being ignited inside of him as his friend clenched his fist.

"I guess that's where we should begin..."

Before Thaniel goes off and spills the bad news they bear, he lets out a deep exasperated sigh, thus seemingly extremely pissed off, and somewhat scared.

"Earlier, Arlan and I were running away from the killer with a hammer, leaving ours and the triplet's parents behind. Unable to do anything, we just did what they told us to do. We were with Mack, Pack, and Jack, but then got separated halfway through our escape. We didn't wanna bring the killer to your house, so we took another path. Our minds and body were exhausted but we did not stop nor look back, scared of the thought that the killer might appear right behind us if we ever did. And before we knew it, upon several minutes of endlessly and tirelessly bolting, we ended up coming across your house."

Thaniel had to pause, hesitant to continue the story, but Xenia was keen on knowing and Thaniel knew that he needed to explain everything to the kid. And so he did...

"Just like I said, we did not want to involve you in the danger, so we were about to go away when we heard two kids' voices. They were laughing as they approached your house. Arlan noticed that it was your friends, Franzia and Zeb, so he was about to run in their direction when we heard what that frail and lame kid Zeb said, "I thought we were gonna save our friend's family for last? How come we are already going after them?" Then, I pulled Arlan away, immediately shutting his mouth."

"Does that mean...?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Those two kids went inside the house and there were lots of screams. Of course, we tried to see what was happening. Silently, we peeked through the gaps in your house and there was a pool of blood. Bodies of your siblings..."

Thaniel was not finished, yet Xenia could no longer contain his anger, thus showing it on his face.

"And also your mother..."

What Arlan and Thaniel felt upon seeing the dread on Xenia's face was not sympathy but fear. Terrified of Xenia's expression, Thaniel could only finish the story.

"Everything became silent inside and it was quite dark, so we could vaguely picture out the interior. Seconds later, the door flung open and then there was horrific laughter from two adults we haven't seen before. No, we've seen them before! They were those siblings that recently arrived on the island! They suddenly vanished, so everyone thought they died. Fuck, now I'm confused!"

Xenia's anger waned a little bit after Thaniel's few last sentences. It caught his attention.

"You didn't see Franzia and Zeb come out?"

"No, we went inside and witnessed the demise of your mother and three little sisters," Arlan answered instead of Thaniel.

"No Jack and Franzia and Zeb?!"

"Jack was supposed to be in your house?"

"Yeah, he arrived first before the two of you."

Thaniel cursed under his breath, "The siblings and that Jack kid was nowhere to be seen. But those two adult siblings we saw coming out of the house were covered in blood. Then that means..."

Xenia fell into deep thoughts.

"If it was really the ability to turn themselves into another person, then the emergence already commenced?! But, it was supposed to be exactly a month after I got reincarnated. This is confusing. Is the history of the emergence wrong? Or it happened earlier and historians were unaware of their existence."

There was so much new knowledge and discovered to process. Xenia could not fit the picture together, and needed to set things aside first because he has other matters to tend to.

Gazing upon the gloomy house his parents built for their family, Xenia felt sick in his stomach. Living with his new life, he grew fond of everyone, especially his little sisters who were the sweetest creatures ever, although they could be a pain in the ass sometimes. He did not care

whether it was his or Xenia's real feelings he had in his shattering heart.

But one thing was for sure, Xenia was deeply agonizing over the death of his loved ones.

"I know you wanna see it for yourself. Go on. Arlan and I are gonna wait outside."

No words were spoken from Xenia. Just pure dismal body language and overwhelming bloodlust, creep throughout the entire bodies of both Arlan and Thaniel.

~