CH3: Past Life (3) 

***

CH3: Past Life (3)

A decade soon passed.

In this ten years, I never returned home. I remained abroad doing the unspeakable things to protect the greater peace.

I had become numb to it all.

Thanks to my unit's efforts, our country's hegemony was secured.

The unit was so infamous at this point that it sent shivers into the hearts of our enemies.

Even ordinary citizens knew of our existence... Those in the dark whose names shall forever be unknown who have been protecting the country from the shadows for more than a decade.

The unit was singlehandedly responsible for preventing the country from experiencing another war.

Novels, songs, movies were all created about us.

Officially, my team didn't have a name… or rather, the unit's name, much like each of its members' names, was never made public knowledge. So the moviemakers got creative.

They called us… Shadow.

Shadow, those who protect the country in the dark.

The citizens celebrated the infamy of Shadow, however, we ourselves, the original true shadows had gotten tired.

We were ready to handover to the next generation.

So, the surviving members of the original team retired.

I retired.

When I returned home, I found out that Cap had risen to Brigadier General rank during my decade of absence.

I thought about it and I decided to go see him now that I was back.

On my way to his office, I came across someone I didn't expect and perhaps the last person I wanted to see.

I saw Annabelle.

However, It seemed age was cruel to her. She wasn't haggard but she looked a few years older than she should be.

I was stunned by her reaction when she saw me.

She froze... she cried... then she tried to hide her face away. She tried to get away.

The naïve me back then didn't understand her reaction in that moment.

I instinctively stopped her.

I had stopped her before I realised.

She stared at me in surprise. The tears were still flowing down her eyes.

I didn't know what to say. However, I knew we couldn't stay there, not with the wife of a General crying on the corridor to his office.

So we changed our venue.

We walked towards a field on the base so that no one would be able to hear our conversation without us knowing.

I don't know why I did this either, I just know I did.

Annabelle had wiped her tears by the time we got to the field.

I led her to sit at the stands.

I still didn't know what to say to her. I was still considering what to say when I heard her say,

"Why didn't you come? Why did you only come back now?!"

I was caught off-guard by her question, especially how agitated she sounded.

"I'm sorry I didn't attend your wedding. I know it was important to you."

"I wasn't talking about the wedding. Why didn't you come find me after that day? You promised you'd find me. Why didn't you come?!"

Then I recalled the last words we said to each other when I brought her back to safety back then.

"Will you come find me?" She had asked.

I nodded.

I had nodded… it was a perfunctory answer on my part. What would a soldier be looking for with the president's daughter?

I didn't realise she took it seriously.

"Why did you leave me to marry a man I didn't love? Why did you leave me with a decade of suffering…? Ten years, Alex... Ten years." She banged on my chest.

It was then it dawned on me.

Those weeks we spent escaping, we weren't pretending. We really were a couple. I wasn't the only one who thought so, it was mutual!

However, because of my low self-esteem…

"I'm sorry."

This was the only thing I could say to the weeping woman.

Eventually, she stopped crying. Then, she looked into my eyes with hope in hers.

"You've come for me, right? You've come to save me, right?"

"I…"

I didn't know what to say.

Was I supposed to say yes?

That would mean I would be betraying the man I respect the most in my life.

"I know I'm not as beautiful as I once was, but-"

"You are still beautiful in my eyes." I stopped her unconfident words.

A smile blossomed on her face.

Unfortunately, I knew my next words would destroy that flower.

"I can't be with you. You're Cap's wife."

Even though Annabelle had a place in my heart, I couldn't betray Cap like that.

I accepted that destiny didn't deem us together.

As expected, Annabelle didn't take that too well.

She slapped me.

She slapped me again and again.

Then, she pounded my chest.

I didn't dodge, block nor retaliate. I let her vent her emotions as tears streamed down her eyes.

She finally stopped, then she stood up.

"Will you have me if I was no longer someone's wife?"

"Wha…?"

"This isn't over. You will have me one way or another." She ran away.

I didn't understand what she meant.

After some contemplation, I still decided to meet with Cap.

We discussed like old time and then I revealed to him that I was retiring after spending sixteen years in the army.

Cap wished me well and I left the base.

One month later, I received the worst news in my life till date.

Annabelle had died.

Not just that, she committed suicide.

I went to her funeral.

The rope mark under her neck was still visible. I left there in grief.

Guilt ate away at me.

I lived everyday after, seeing her blaming me for her death.

She indeed became part of my life.

Grief can make people do self-destructive things. It was no different for me.

I couldn't commit suicide. Either I was too proud or I didn't have the courage to end it all. So I sought out dangerous activities to do.

Unfortunately, death seemed to be mocking me. Laughing at my futile attempts to earn its attention and blessing.

No matter what sort of dangerous situation I put myself in, I always survived.

I live another five years of this futile life. Mentally, I was at the end of my rope.

Finally, death decided to take my soul. However, I never expected the instrument it decided to use.

I was killed by someone.

The last person I expected to want to harm my life.

My Killer was… Cap.

No, Brigadier General Anthon Belair.

-

I was captured by a military unit. There assault was precise and calculated, plus I wasn't in the best shape. I could hardly resist.

I was taken to an abandoned warehouse where I met Brigadier General Belair.

When I saw him, the man looked completely different from the man I knew.

The gentle, friendly eyes he used to look at me with was gone. In its place was cold disdain.

It wasn't the brotherly figure I knew.

"I thought you'd kill yourself. I never thought you'd still continue your miserable life. Looks like staging Annabelle's death as a suicide wasn't enough to push you over the edge."

"What? You killed her? Why? She was your wife!"

"She was a tool!" He replied coldly. "A tool daring to harm its owner is to be discarded."

He looked down disdainfully at me.

"Like you." He said.

"Tool? What are you talking about. Please come to your senses, Cap!"

He laughed out loud.

"How foolish can you be? Even now, you still don't get it? I've been using you from the beginning. Why else would a noble like me relate with riffraff like you?"

"I don't understand…"

I led a covert unit on foreign soil. My intelligence was unquestionable. Plus, I had read enough stories on betrayals and conspiracies to understand what he was talking about. However, my heart was unwilling to accept what my head was telling it.

"Let me explain it to you so that you can understand.

"You didn't happen to be assigned to my platoon in the war. I asked for you. You were making waves in the war. I knew if I had you under me, I could steal your credit. Why else would a Lieutenant regard a corporal? The promotions you received were based only on the merits I couldn't take because of the witnesses to the feats. I guess that says a lot about the things you achieved in the war.

"You understand now? I kept you in my special unit after the war because I knew I could continue exploiting you. And what a good worker you were." He laughed to my face.

He suddenly stopped laughing and his face became serious.

"I didn't expect you to gain Annabelle's favour. I had planned to rescue and charm her that time but we got separated. It would have been easy to woo the stupid girl and become the president's son-in-law. You almost ruined everything. I'm grateful to you for being insensitive. It was so obvious the girl liked you. You were the only one who didn't notice.

"I knew I had to quickly send you away before you realised and ballsed up. That old fool was known for doting on his daughter. He wouldn't have cared that you were just a lowly riffraff. He would've married his daughter to you. So, I signed you up for the covert unit.

"Did you know? That unit was never supposed to be what it became today. It was meant to be a disposable suicide squad. All of you on that team were soldiers your superiors wanted to send to their deaths! But to our surprise, you refused to die. Well, it wasn't like it was all bad. All of us who gave recommendations to the unit earned credits for suggesting each of you."

He crouched down before me.

"Do you know? If you had showed up that day, Annabelle would never have married me."

My eyes widened.

He seemed to take pleasure in my reaction.

"I used my family's influence to arrange a marriage, however, Annabelle refused stating she had someone she loved. The president investigated and found you were on the covert unit. The old coot was ecstatic when he found about your unit's achievement, especially when he knew his little girl's crush was the 'capable young man' who led the team, the infamous Zero whose name sent shivers to the heart of his targets. He ordered your return.

"He was in that café that day. If you had entered that day, you would've found out that I lied. You would've become the president's son-in-law."

"You lied?"

"Yes, I lied. The news you got about me getting married was false. I intercepted the message that should've reached you. The message that should've reached you was that the president wanted to see you to discuss about Annabelle. However, I knew you too well. Foolishly loyal. I knew If you thought I was marrying her, you wouldn't fight me for her."

"I was slightly worried when I saw you coming to the café. Imagine my joy when I saw you running away. You were so pathetic it was so funny.

"The president felt insulted by you and forbade his daughter from ever mentioning you again. He ordered her to marry me. And like that, I got what I wanted."

His words rang in my head. I felt my world crumble. Like my name, fury filled my eyes.

Unfortunately, I was tied to the chair. There was nothing I could do.

"Are you angry? I'm also angry!" He punched my face. "That bitch! No matter what I did, she never stopped pinning for you. I essentially had to force myself on her through the decade we were together. She even went as far as to use medicine that would prevent her from conceiving my heir. Can you believe that bitch?!

"I gave her everything and she still goes wagging her tail to you as soon as you arrived. Can you believe she came to me asking for a divorce? She wanted to divorce ME?! She dared used her father to threaten me."

"So you killed her?!"

"Of course!" He replied crazily. "If she left me, everything I built would crumble. But if she died, I might lose some, but I won't lose everything. Plus, I know she met you. If she committed suicide soon after meeting you, I knew you'd carry all the guilt. I expected that you'd kill yourself, ending everything once and for all. I didn't expect that you were so incompetent you couldn't even die when you wanted to."

I finally saw the true face of the man I called 'brother'.

I couldn't believe I looked up to this… this… villain.

I had no words to say. I just glared at him.

If eyes could kill, he would have died a million times.

"I like the look in your eyes. They fit you well." He pointed a pistol to my head. "When you reach the other side, keep that bitch sated for me. I will come take what's mine." He smiled grimly.

Before I could say anything, he pulled the trigger.

The bullet pierced my skull.

I felt control over my body slipping away. My vision began to darken.

Everything turned black for me.

However, my consciousness hadn't left my body.

My entire life replayed in my consciousness. I watched everything again like a movie.

I realised that Anthone Belair was right. I really was a fool.

Everything was obvious if I had taken the time to look… If I wasn't taken to loyalty by a few words.

If I wasn't blindly loyal, I would've seen the man's treachery.

It was clear to everyone but me.

Also, if I hadn't been a coward… If I hadn't wallowed in my low self-esteem,.. If I had bothered trying, I would've achieved my two dreams.

I would have written the story of the perfect soldier. I would have the love and company of a woman that loved me with every fibre of her being.

I lost it all… and for a simple reason.

I was a Fool.

*

This was how I lived my first life.

Indeed, the life of a Fool.

[A.N: If you're enjoying the book, please leave a review, vote with power stones and golden tickets. Gifts are also very welcomed. Also, please check out my other book Soldiers of Time. Thanks.]