Part XIX

Anna: What is the meaning of this? (She says staring at the letter biting her lower lip) How can you take such a big step without informing your parents? You are still a minor, how can you live without your family at such a tender age?

I frowned but kept calm, "Now you remember that I am a minor? Where were you when I needed you? Where were your morals when you left the whole house on my small shoulders? And what did you feel while making me responsible towards my siblings? Did you think about my tender age while making me go through such injustice? You didn't even bothered to stay for my birthday, and you call this a family? I thought family was supposed to stick together through thick and thin, but here, I have been suffering alone for so many years, what did you do as my family or rather as a parent? I am grateful for everything that you gave me, and I would always be, I don't want to hurt your feelings, I just want to protect my feelings from further corruption, isn't it better to go far and miss you, instead of staying near and end up hating you?" I wanted to say all this to her face but I couldn't …. Because at the end of the day, she is my mother whom I love dearly and I can't afford to hurt her feelings before leaving.

Douglas: Anna, just sign the consent letter, let her discover the world, if she fails in the struggle, she can always return, but don't just trap her inside this cage. (He says half interested) I trust in your parenting style, it's far better than mine. You have never thought of tying up your children so why now? (He yawns tired)

They have just returned from their two day trip after picking up Angela from the advertisement site, and celebrating her birthday on the way. They were already tired when I dropped the news on their head, Mom got frustrated while dad seemed really chill about it, though he never cared in the first place.

Anna: Mhm….you are right. For a second I became selfish and almost ruined my daughter's future. Alright then… (signs the consent letter) Don't come back like a coward, I want you to spread your wings and fly high in the sky. (She smiles while returning the letter)

Me: Wait…what? (I looked at their faces confused) just like that? No drama, No scolding, not even crying? You are letting your 9 year old child go to a foreign country so easily? (I blinked my eyes trying to process the situation).

Anna: Well, at first I thought you were throwing tantrums because we failed to celebrate your birthday, but if you genuinely want to live your life and become more independent, I would never stop you. (She said while pulling me into a warm hug) Let's go and buy things that would be necessary for your trip.

Me: Huh? Already?.... is this some kind of reverse psychology? (I was confused)

Anna : Enough of this chit-chats, let's get to work, Douglas go and speak with Anne's principal for transfer certificate, we also need to get her passport (she gets up from bed) it would be a busy week. (She sighs)

Me: Mom…are you really serious? (I blinked) Do you think I would be able to live without you? (I looked at her with puppy eyes)

Anna: Do you want to go or not? (She says raising her brow)

Me: (I hugged her tightly) I wanna…I wanna….thank you so much mommy!! You are the besttttt!!!

Anna: Are you learning to act cute from Angela? Because I am still pissed off at you for hiding such a big deal from us, you are still a child even if you are more mature than others of your age. (She says while hugging me) Now go to your room and reflect on yourself while we break this news to your siblings.

It was afternoon when I was finally allowed to get out of my room and join my family for lunch on the dining table, today the dining table looked more like a round table discussion regarding my naïve move, Angela was in tears, my brothers looked concern and irritated at the same time, but the irritation was not directed towards me but rather Angela.

Leo: Father, King and I have decided to move to Germany, for further education, anyways without Anne, this house would be like a hollow space. (He says while cutting meat into small pieces).

King: Also, we don't want to face an irritating face everyday, without Anne here, that face would creep me out(he says sarcastically) if you know what I mean. (He looks at Angela who was about to burst into tears).

Douglas: (he frowns while clicking his tongue) Do you think money grows on trees? All of a sudden everyone is deciding to study abroad, have you thought of the expenses that come with living abroad? (He taps his fingers over his forehead frustrated) Anne is an exception because we have already agreed to send her, but what about you two?

Leo: Germany has a free education system, so you don't need to worry regarding our education fees. (He replies while placing a piece of meat in his mouth.) Only living expenses are needed until we turn at the age where we can get part-time job. But I wonder....if its worth it to spend on a particular person. (He chuckles while staring at King.)

King: Stop making fun of me, I know that I am the black sheep of this family, no need to point it out over and over AGAIN!! (he ends up losing his temper as he stabs the steak with his knife)

Anna: King, maintain decorum while having your meal. (She said while wiping her lips with tissue)

Douglas: Leo is right, what's the point of wasting hard earned money on a dumb child? King, it would be better if you stay back. (He says in a stern voice)

King: (he stands up frustrated) Why do you always discriminate between us siblings!! Leo always get 'eldest son and future genius of the house' treatment, invest all your money on him so that he can double it with good amount of interest rate, Anne is the 'mature' woman of the house dump all your parental responsibilities on her, because it's 'normal' for a 9 year old child taking care of the house and her siblings! And then comes the princess who is clueless about life because her parents are over protective of her! But what about me?! King, the black sheep of the house, who is an idiot, playboy, doesn't know anything about life, can't take responsibility, doing anything for him is just waste of money and time! Right Dad! I am also your son! HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF THAT?!! (He stops shouting gasping for air) one day….I will prove that I am not a black sheep of this house!! Even if that takes my life, but I will make you proud, hope at least then you would recognise me. (Tears rolled down from his eyes which were red with anger and disappointment)

Douglas: (he bangs his fist against the table warning King to shut up) No need to get agitated, and showing your vulnerable side so easily, we will think about your problem later on, after we are done dealing with Anne, we are humans not robots, stop dropping so many tasks at the same time. (He was surprisingly calm even though King caused so much chaos in the dining room)

Angela: (she chokes trying to speak while crying a river) I…I know…why elder brothers…w-want to leave … it's because they…hate me!!!

Anna: No no sweetheart…they don't hate you. (Our mother hugs her trying to calm her down)

With all these drama, I could barely eat my boiled vegetables and rice, I sipped beetroot juice from the glass while rethinking my life decisions, it's already a chaos even though I haven't left yet, what will happen after I leave? A various train of thoughts crossed my mind as I sat on the chair emotionless, with a shock over my face.

King: I don't hate you…I hate this FAMILY!!! IT'S A CIRCUS OUT HERE! NOBODY MAKES SENSE EXCEPT FOR ANNE!! And now even she is leaving….(his voice chokes with tears) what's the point of living in a circus, when the ringmaster is leaving….this family is bound to break APART! YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE OUR PARENTS DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT OUR LIVES! THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING OR WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR STUPID ACTION! (he says before running upstairs while murmuring repeatedly) without Anne….this house is hollow….

Leo: This time, I am with King. (He apologized to God for wasting food before standing up) without Anne, there is no point of living in this hellhole. (He takes his leave)

Angela: (she holds my hand tightly as tears rolled down from her eyes, then she pulls me in a warm hug) I will miss you….hope wherever you go, you will find your happiness….(she says while almost having an emotional breakdown)

I hugged her tightly while rethinking my decision 'Am I taking the right step? Should I leave?' but then what about my life? If I always hold back thinking about others, who will think about me? I was done being taken for granted, I feel bad for my family, especially for my siblings, but the longer I stay in this house the more dependent they will become, 'Wait…am I ruining their life ..by making them dependent on me?'….

To be continued....