Breakfast

I met Jordan on my way down for breakfast the next morning. I felt grateful, seeing that he had not gone off the island as I had feared. More grateful than I wished to admit.

When Jordan left my room the previous day, I had been unable to ask him if he was leaving. Even if I had the chance to ask, I wouldn't have.

Jordan had left abruptly after his sudden command.

"No. You are not allowed to."

Those were his words, forbidding me from caring about Daren. Jordan had said those words, and when I had stared at him in confusion, he had left without any explanation. Leaving me in even more confusion.

I had stayed up for most part of the night, wondering what he meant, and why.

Why did he forbid me from caring about Daren? It wasn't as if my caring or not would have any effect on Daren anymore. If he bothered that Daren would confuse my caring about him as me still having feelings for him, then he had no need to. Daren and I were seas apart, so there was no way my concern or consideration could have any effect on him at all.

So, why was Jordan against me caring about Daren? Or did he still think I was a gold digger? He had assured me himself that he didn't think so anymore. Or was he just messing around.

What bothered me the most about Jordan's declaration was the sincerity in how serious he looked when he said those words. He meant it. I had seen it clearly.

When I walked into the hallway that morning, Jordan was also just stepping out of his room. He was dressed in exercising outfit, and looked as if he was going out for a run.

I stopped abruptly the moment I saw him step out, and I stood frozen, hoping that he would walk away without looking back. But I was out of luck. Jordan turned around, and our eyes met almost immediately. We stood in the hallway, starring at each other in awkward silence for an awful long moment. I got so restless, and soon began to shift my weight from one foot to the other.

"How was your night?" Jordan asked suddenly, startling me a bit.

"Uhm, yes. Yes, I had a good night rest." I stuttered, rambling nervously. "Uhm, what about you? Did you sleep well?" I asked.

"Yes." Jordan nodded.

"Oh." I nodded too. Another awkward silence stretched, and for want of what to say to ease it, I asked. "Are you going for a run? You, you look dressed as if..." I trailed off, then I gestured at his outfit to drive my point.

"Yes. I'm going for a run, by the beach." Jordan replied. "You going down for breakfast?" He asked.

"Yes." I replied simply, and another moment of silence stretched.

It felt so awkward. Trying small talks with Jordan. I didn't even know why we were trying! It felt so forced. The air around us felt so tight, and my lungs felt as if they were failing with every passing moment. I had never felt that distressed. Even when we fought, it felt more relaxing than in that moment as we stood there in the hallway trying to play nice and civil. I decided it was better when we argued. Then, words came easily, and my breath burned with heat and flames. But in that moment, my tongue felt glued to the roof of my mouth, and my breaths went scarce.

"Early breakfast." Jordan said.

"Yea. Uhm, I was feeling hungry through the night. Couldn't wait this morning." I muttered from my lips, without the words registering in my head.

"You should have come down for midnight snacks. I have those on most nights. Especially when I'm sleepless. It helps, and it keeps you full by the morning." Jordan said.

I looked up at Jordan. I wanted to see if he was rambling too. It didn't look like he was. He looked serious as he stood there talking to me about midnight snacks.

Midnight snacks!

Not too long ago, the two of us were literally up on each other's neck, seeking to draw blood. And now, here we were, standing in the middle of the hallway, talking about midnight snacks!

It was crazy. I could not believe it.

I didn't know how to respond to this. There was no possible reply, and it wasn't as if he had asked a question. So I shifted my weight from one foot to the other again. The awkward stretch returned, and this time it lasted even longer.

"Uhm... I'll go then." Jordan said at last.

"Yes. See you around." I muttered quickly.

Jordan nodded, then after starring at me for another small moment, he walked away.

I stood there in the hallway for a while longer, trying to shake off the shock of the experience. It felt like a dream. Neither a good dream, nor a bad one. Just a dream. Unreal.

I couldn't decide what to make of it. I couldn't tell if Jordan and I were cool now or not. And I especially couldn't understand why we were being nice and civil around each other. When we Jordan was rude and abusive, and accusing and hostile towards me, it was easier to handle. Because that was who I knew him to be. But now, Jordan was acting out of character. It didn't feel right.

When I went down to the kitchen, Dimitra was alone. She looked up when I walked in.

"Good mor..." I began to say, but Dimitra interrupted.

"If you're going to greet me, save it." She said. "I've told you to keep away from my kitchen, but you have no ears on your head. Go over there and wait. I'll have your breakfast ready in a moment." She said, pointing towards the door. Then she went back to what she was doing, ignoring me completely, as if I was never there.

I stood there for a moment, stunned. I still wasn't over Jordan confusing me, and now I had to deal with Dimitra too! Because, why was she acting like she hated me, while everything Ma Nana ever told me about her was how she actually cared about me? Ma Nana had said that Dimitra had been in support of me being Jordan's woman for real, and in fact the two of them had planned to get me pregnant. So if she approved of me being Jordan's woman, Jordan who was just like a grandson to her, then why did she always scold me and act like she hated me?

Dimitra turned around, and was startled when she found me still standing there.

"Are you glaring at me right now?" She asked.

"Do you hate me or not?" I asked her, as I began to slowly stroll towards her.

"What?" Dimitra cried, her face contorted in confusion.

"I want to know if you hate me or not. Because you keep confusing me! You and your grandson!" I howled. In that moment, I think I was taking my pent up confusion out on Dimitra, and letting off steam. I knew I shouldn't, but I had been unable to take it out on Jordan, so I didn't hold back. "Why do you act like you hate me in my presence, but behind my back you scheme how I would get pregnant for Jordan, who's like a grandson to you, and even scold him when you think he is hurting me by being with another woman? Why are you doing all this? Why?" I cried.

Dimitra remained silent for a moment, looking at me as if she was trying to figure me out.

"Yes June." She said at last. A small smile spread across her face. I was startled that she knew my name, even more startled that she used it. "Yes, I hate you. I really don't like you, because you remind me a lot of someone I know. Someone I have unpleasant memories of." She paused. "But you are the first woman I have seen who little Anax cares about. He is different for you. So if you can set him right, I will accept you."

I laughed out loud, startling Dimitra again. But I couldn't help it.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." I said, trying to hold myself together, but I failed. After laughing a while longer, I finally found my voice. "I'm sorry. But I find it funny. First, you think I can fix Jordan? I didn't break him, and I'm not a doctor or psychic or something like that. So no, I can't fix him. And then, you think Jordan likes me?" I said, then I burst into laughter again. Controlling my breath, I managed to stop laughing again. "Why would you ever think that? I really can't blame you though, you don't know. Maybe you should ask Ma Nana. She would tell you who I really am, and why I am here." I said.

"Oh, I know who you are." Ma Nana said. "I know Helena made him take you, and I know he is hiding you here. I know you two are married only in papers. I know everything. I wouldn't be Dimitra if I didn't know." Dimitra said. My mouth fell wide open.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"I know everything that goes on in this mansion, koukla." Dimitra said, winking slyly. "And that is how I know that little Anax likes you. I have been with him for years, and I have watched him handle business. You are supposed to be business, but little Anax is not handling you as that. I know him good, he does not make rowdy mistakes like this. You are not business to him, you are weakness. He doesn't see it yet, but you two will see it soon." Dimitra declared. Then she turned away. "Here." She announced, turning back to me. She held out the meal she had just dished into a plate. "Your breakfast."