Disheartened

What Fu Hao Xin really found disheartening was that he wanted to cultivate in order to gain 'freedom' the freedom to live his life, the freedom not to worry about beasts threatening his life, and those around him. The freedom to act in a broad minded manner, with the ability to forgive, forget, and to be kind.

But having faced this cruel reality, he found that although he had become strong, he hadn't gained that freedom. Instead, he had been tricked, believed in friends who were plotting behind his back, and he had been hurt because of his strength. This was a reversal of roles!

As a youth he had suffered the cruel test of nature because he wasn't strong enough, and now that he was strong enough, he suffered the cruel test of humanity. No matter what, it seems like he was bound to lose something! And after working so hard, not only had he not accomplished his goals, all he had to show for it was a broken body.