Chapter 3: Spying on Viktor

"Don't ever come to my room again."

Those words rang in my ears constantly. My ailing relationship with Viktor had worsened since our last night's encounter. He wouldn't look at me as we passed each other in the hallway. As usual, I had dined alone in the cold dining room. The venison was tough and tasteless. I wasn't sure if that had something to do with my taste buds or if Eponine had put less than her best into cooking the meal. She looked indignant these days, and I couldn't fathom why.

"If anyone should be angry, it should be me," I muttered. Thoughts of Viktor brutally turning me down dominated my mind. I could barely look him in the eye after what had happened. He was even more cold and distant than ever. How would I survive in this manor? And why, why wouldn't I stop thinking about him? Getting rejected again, in such a way, hurt more than anything I had experienced before. It hurt even more than James leaving me at the altar.

I was on the bed's edge, busying my hands on a piece of embroidery I had been working on when I was back in England. Although it was only less than two weeks since I arrived at this manor, it felt like a lifetime ago. I would have preferred staying single forever. Was I so despicable, so undeserving of love? How was it possible that I hadn't been deflowered so many days after my marriage? Why did this man marry me?

"I hate you, Viktor Volkov!" I groaned. I was so enraged that my hands trembled, and I fantasised about driving the embroidery needle into one of his blue eyes. Nothing about him had ever been of use to me. Nonetheless, I still wondered what it would feel like to have him inside me. As I did for the greater part of last night, the urge to touch myself came strongly upon me. Was there worse torture in the world than to be married to such a good-looking man and not enjoy the sweetness that came with copulation? I couldn't forget his smell, the touch of his hand on my belly, and his warm, wet tongue rolling on my neck… Using all my willpower, I obliterated the sexual thoughts in my mind and replaced them with the thoughts of making Viktor sad, just as he had done to me.

As I struggled with my hateful thoughts towards my husband, my mind drifted to Eponine and her odd behaviour. Everything about the manor was odd, apart from the building itself. How was a building so magnificent served by only one person? Why didn't Viktor have other staff?

I soon became irritated with the embroidery and dumped it on the low stool beside the bed. Footsteps sounded outside my bedchamber door, and I wondered if that was Viktor finally on his way to perform his conjugal duties. However, the steps faded away as quickly as they came, and I was left alone to contend with the cold in the room.

The more I thought about Viktor, the more I realised how little I knew about the man I was married to. What his job or patrimony was, I had no idea. I just knew that he was extremely wealthy, according to my father. Since I arrived in the manor, I had never seen him venture beyond the mansion's walls during the day. I knew this because most of my days were spent looking through the window in my chamber. Viktor rarely left the manor, I could tell in good authority. Was he a merchant of some sort? Did he own a warehouse somewhere in the city which I was not yet aware? Was he a noble from a foreign country?

The idea of following him struck me, and I was delighted. I knew I had to do it. Eager to do something of consequence since my arrival in the manor, I adjusted my gown and hurried out of the chamber. This time, the hallway was lit with lamps, and I easily found my way around. My first port of call was Viktor's bedchamber. I opened the door with a great deal of stealth and squeezed my face in horror when the door creaked loudly. When I did look into the chamber, I found the bed empty. A lamp burned close to the window and illuminated every room corner. It was in this room that Viktor had turned me down. I hated it here!

I spent minutes unending looking around the house, seeking my husband. It was in the manor's library that I finally found him. There he sat with a low pile of books on his desk. Now that I remembered, he was reading a book when I found him naked on his bed. He must enjoy reading, I thought. When I opened the door to the library, he looked at me and turned his face away like I was not a person of consequence. In all fairness, I knew I didn't mean a thing to him. Our marriage was transactional. Still, what woman didn't desire to be wanted? Why couldn't I have what any wife would?

"It's late," I muttered, walking deeper into the library. "Shouldn't you retire to your bedchamber ahead of tomorrow's business?" I had gathered all my courage to be able to talk to him in such a casual manner.

Looking at my husband now, I became overwhelmed again by intense lust. His beautiful icy blue eyes were stuck to the pages, his broad back stood straight on the chair, and his powerful hands held the book as if it were a helpless creature. Viktor was just too sexy to resist. It didn't matter if he was a rogue or a bandit. He could be a murderer for all I cared. I would still give everything for him to acknowledge me, hold me in his strong arms and make love to me.

"I will retire when I desire it," Viktor replied stiffly, frowning, without looking at me.

The pages' continuous ruffling told me he was no longer paying attention to me. Disappointed by how the brief meeting had turned out, I stepped out of the library and returned to my room for an early sleep. That night, I dreamed that Viktor sneaked into my room, tied me to the bed and fucked me until I whimpered.

***

Over the next few days, I was careful to watch Viktor as he went on with his daily activities. His mornings were spent in his room. That was the only time when I would find his door locked. At sunset, he would often set to the drawing room or the library. He was quite accomplished at painting and playing the violin. I hadn't even noticed before, as he kept the instruments in a room far away from my bedchamber. Sometimes he would go to the garden at night and stare at the moon for a long time. The moon's beams would gracefully fall on his perfect features, and his eyes would gleam ever brighter. He looked indescribably sad. So sad that I almost felt the temptation to forgive him.

He was always alone, and I never saw him eating. The only other person I saw him speaking to was the coachman who brought me to the manor. On two occasions, I found Viktor leaving the house late at night, but I couldn't tell where he had gone because he had made a habit of locking the door as soon as he stepped out. So it was impossible to follow him without his knowledge.

That night I had overheard him talking to Eponine, that he intended to leave the house to take care of something. I was prepared to sneak out of the house and see what business he was up to outside the manor's walls. I had sneaked into the living room, ready to slip out as soon as I heard him coming from the library. I planned to wait outside and watch whatever he did. If he walked on foot, I would go behind him.

The most interesting thing I have done since I moved here, I thought.

Minutes turned into an hour, and I heard no footsteps from Viktor as I expected. The idea of checking his room struck me, and I acted upon it without scruple. I hurried down the hallway and went to his bedchamber, eager to find out what had made him remain indoors.

It took only a few moments to get to his chamber. As I got close, I heard muffled groans from the door's other side. I didn't think much of it. My eagerness to find Viktor prevailed over anything else in my mind. When I opened the door gently, I did find him on the bed. He was grabbing Eponine's hair with one hand while the other one held her naked body by the hips.