I'm Sorry

Myranda ran after Metas at full speed, but she was no match for his strong legs and knowledge of the ins and outs of the forest. She lost him quickly, and not even his scent was helpful as the entire area pretty much smelled like Metas.

'No... no no no - what did I do? I feel so bad, so fucking bad.... I just want to tell him I'm sorry...' she thought in desperation and started to run in circles as she attempted to pick up a stronger scent than what she had at her nose.

Dread set in as she looked for fresh tracks, and found nothing but disturbed debris that she partly had done herself in her frenzy of her attempt to keep up with him.

Myranda thought that if she couldn't catch him, maybe she could howl out for him and he'd reply. She wasn't a strong projector of sound, but at this point she would do anything to see Metas again to apologize, and at the very least hint that he wasn't nothing to her.

The she-wolf tried her very best to let her long howl grow in volume, but it only went so far, and she did not receive a reply. There was no greater failure this moment than the sounds of her howl as the echoed uselessly off of the pine trees.

Never in her life had Myranda wanted to turn back time and change her foolish actions. The fact she had hurt Metas was her biggest regret, and now she contemplated on how to sneak up to the castle to beg on her stomach like a worm. Any punishment would be worth it.

'..Why did I call him nothing? Why? I hated it so much when my parents did it to me, and now...what have I done? Fuck me! Goddess damn it all,' she agonized inwardly and started to whine and whimper as the reality of the situation sunk her heart further.

As her thoughts ran on, so did her anxiety and regret. It sent her into a further frenzy that got her deeper into the woods, and now in an uncharted area she never dared to go. It was still within their territory at least, but the scent of Metas was weak where she had ended up, and so once more she turned around to use a different direction.

No matter what option she took, or what path she made, Metas' fresh scent had disappeared from her nose completely. The sun had now come up to light the floor of the forest, which meant once more that she was not at her home doing her job like she was supposed to.

For a moment that stupid thought worried her, but it was quickly pushed aside and over a cliff as Metas' broken eyes rang in her memory over her obligation to work.

'He had just been so vulnerable and you did that...you're the worst, Myra. The worst.' She repeated in her head as she turned around trees and looked for landmarks so she could get back home. Perhaps had she not been in such a shattered state it would have been easier, but right now she drowned in turmoil, and it ruined her ability to track.

Her nose did find something eventually - and by instinct or luck, found herself back at Metas' beaten trail that was still clear despite some of the leaves and sticks that covered portions of it. Hope returned to her heart and at full speed she followed his direction.

'SNAP'

Myranda let out a howl of pain as one of the very traps that she had seen yesterday came closed on her hind leg, and immediately burned her skin as the silver made an instant impact on her flesh.

Forget the turmoil - now she drowned in agony.

The longer the metal burned into her, the less control she felt over her inner wolf. Although she fought the battle with all her might, she lost the will to shift as her hair rescinded into her body, and her shape changed into her mortal skin.

Unfortunately, it didn't stop the spread of the injury - and now she was more vulnerable than ever with an opened wound to attract predators. There she lay and sobbed intensely as the silver seeped into her blood and boiled her from the inside.

In desperation, Myranda tried to open the trap with her hands, but instead she just burned her fingers and palms.

"Aagh! Fuck!" She screamed so loudly that she was sure it came out stronger than her howl from earlier.

"Why did you do that you idiot!?" Myranda demanded to herself aloud in anger. "Why did you do anything you did today!?" She questioned further and then devolved into tears.

"Metas? I'm sorry - I didn't mean my words! I didn't mean to hurt you! I don't even care if you don't save me - just please, please accept my apology!" She wailed in vain.

No one was there to hear her.

No one was there to help.

Myranda was stuck right where she was and the only thing that would be able to free her, would more than likely be whoever set this trap in the first place. The only thing she wanted to know now, was would that person come before or after she died from being poisoned by silver?

It wouldn't be long if after was the outcome. Her ankle had already started to succumb to the shiny metal teeth as black tendrils of blood veins started to spread upwards and towards her calf.

All she could feel at the deepest point of her core was that of all the things in life she had been certain of, she was very very certain that she deserved this. If she truly had rejected Metas by accident, then it was for the best she died out here anyway. That way she didn't have to regret her actions for the rest of her days.

Sure, she was hurt - and yes, she was bitter. However, that didn't give her the license to be a complete asshole whenever and to whomever. This would be one mistake she promised she'd never repeat should her life continue after today.

"I'm sorry, Metas" she let out through her tears as her body lay amongst the debris from nature, and in her own blood started to cool and pooled in her shoe.

"I'm so sorry..." Myranda repeated and closed her eyes in hopes the pain would be over soon.

Hallucinations started to rise in front of her eyes as the silver leeched into her bloodstream. It was doing a real number on her vascular system for being all the way at her ankle.

For whatever reason she could see her parents as they stood in front of her and laughed as they hurled the same insults she had received her entire life.

'What are you, stupid? What's wrong with you?'

'You're such a little bitch, Myranda. Stop being a bother and go play out in the halls with the others - we're busy!'

"I-I'm sorry, mom... m-my finger was cut badly...I can't find the band-aids..." Myranda said out loud to the visions that only she saw.

'You'll make up anything just to get attention, won't you?'

"I'm sorry..." she uttered outloud.

'You're not sorry- not yet. Get the board from the lower drawer and wait in the kitchen. I'll show you what really being sorry is, girl.'

"Please, no - I - I'm sorry.." she begged aloud again an squeezed her eyes shut.

'Are you telling me what to do now!?'

"No! I'm..please don't hit me with the board again. I'll be good.." she wailed as her eyes beheld the furious face of her mother as she advanced towards her with eyes of hatred and regret.

'You? You never behave. You're never good....but you are about to be sorry,'

Myranda began to sob as though she were right back in that damned kitchen where her mother and father beat her relentlessly. She swore she could feel the wooden board, spoons, and sometimes metal cooking tools beat against her skin. Every single time her memories rang out to something from the past, she felt that same thing in that moment all over again - and right now it was even worse thanks to the silver.

It was too much to bare. She had to close her eyes for any kind of relief before her mind crumpled into dust.