"" bounce back""
---jennie;
--walking back in fort Infront of Lisa's desk, I am reading the book that she needs to study,,.
-when her father took me and had him as my mentor, I offer to tutor Lisa~~ well honestly, she doesn't need any, I mean she's smart~ just lazy..
--I looked over to Lisa, and caught her staring at me while leaning her chin on top of her palm with elbows on her desk,
JENNIE: are you even listening??
-she got startled and grab her book hastily.
LISA: uhm- (clears throat) yeah, I am.. (smile)
JENNIE: (sigh) you're at the wrong page Lisa~~
-she drops the book and exhales heavily..
LISA: I'm tired~~ can we rest??
''-tired?? seriously?? we just started like 30 minutes ago.. but I can't contradict her, she'll get grumpy.
JENNIE: alright.. you can rest..
-she gave me a toothy grin and stands up grabbing my hand,,
LISA: really!!,,,,, let's go then, I'll show you something.
JENNIE: hey wait- I thought you're tired??
-not responding, she just smiles and pull me towards the garden.
---
-roughly 5 minutes now when she left me sitting at the bench,, I was swinging my foot while waiting for her~ when I smell a sweet fragrance that ingulfs my nose,,, looking up, a beautiful flower is now Infront of me..
JENNIE: it's beautiful~~~ is that for me??
LISA: Yes, it is~ but you are far more beautiful..
JENNIE: thank you Lisa~~
-indulging the scent of the flower on my hand she became silent,, then suddenly~~
LISA: I like you Jennie;''!
-----------------------
PRESENT
after the encounter at the car with Lisa,, we spoke a little later that night,, I don't know what gotten in to me but I felt afraid,, I saw how she was broken,,
---''when we got home Lisa immediately went to her room and lock herself,, I let her alone but later that night she came to my room,,~ as I open the door she grab me and cage me with her arm embracing too tight,, her face on my neck I can feel the warm tears on my skin,,
JENNIE: Lisa.~~
LISA: I don't know how to stop the pain Jennie,,. it's getting worst,, I thought I'm okay.. Uh-I thought the feeling that I have for you had faded for the past years, but,, (sob)
JENNIE: I'm sorry~~ I know it's not enough, It won't ever be,, how I wish I can turn back time, I should have not let you get in to this pain and suffering,, and it's all on me..
LISA: why~` tell me,, why do you have to leave me,,?
JENNIE: I have to,, were too young back then and I am too coward to face all possible struggle that we may encounter,,
-letting go I held her arm facing me.
JENNIE: and I'm not selfish enough to keep you beside me not knowing if we can still make it. what if I can't protect you for all the harm,
LISA: am I that weak to you? Do you think I need your protection??
JENNIE: that's not what I meant.. but I got scared,, like right now~~
-I lower my head,, seeing her like this, keeps coming back my anxiety,, what if I will hurt her again.? have I really grown enough?? is the love that I have for her enough to erase all the pain I caused her,,.
--she's looking at me with so many questions in her eyes.
LISA: you're still afraid?? ,, why didn't you think about that before giving me those hopes that you are now ready for me.. right after you came back, I tried,, god knows how much I tried not to be drowned again to you,, but you keep on pulling me.. showing me that it is your mission to have me back,,,
JENNIE: it is!!
LISA: but you're still afraid~~ right?
JENNIE: Lisa~~
-I'm about to reach her hand ,, but she moved back,, and just looking at me,, I want to take back my words,, why it has to be like this,,
JENNIE: Lisa, please hear me out.. don't get me wrong.. I still want you back.. but seeing you like this ~~ made me think of all the outcome maybe,, I want to make sure that I'm doing this right this time..
LISA: so, what are we then??
JENNIE: le-let's take it easy for the mean time and be civil to each other,,
LISA: civil~~ okay..
-she's nodding her head slowly and looked at her back.. I caught her arm trying to make her look at me,,
JENNIE: you understand right??
--a straight line formed on her lips earning a forced smile she opens the door and make her way out.. I was stuck on my feet,, just letting her walk away again..
''what's wrong with me''
-----------
--I was lost in my thought when I was called out- 'miss Kim''??
JENNIE: Yes?
JEONGYEON: uhm ,, miss nayeon was asking for you,,
JENNIE: (sigh) where is she??
JEONGYEON: at the gym.~~
--following that student, my mind still clouded with Lisa,, we haven't spoken again since,,
--I found nayeon with other prof doing stuff on the table,, I heard there's a gathering that will be held, I'm not sure what it is,, there's also bunch of students making decorations.. roaming my eyes,, a queen like sitting in the middle of a crowd, she's surrounded with peasants urging to be near her or at least breathe the same air as he have,,
--glancing on her, she didn't even pity them with a smile,,
--
LISA POV
--''what am I even doing here?.. I have questioned myself maybe a million times over the past hours,, coming to school as early as possible just to ditch Jennie.. I was hurt ''again'' and I don't want to face her showing her how weak I am for her,, the damage has been done,, and I was ready to take another shot that night when I talk to her,, but I guess I expected too much.. I thought all the gestures and aggressiveness that she implies reassuring me that she will catch me this time..
--my friends have been trying to ease my grumpy attitude since this morning,, and bring me here just to kill some time,,
-a welcome party for new professors and freshman's will be held.. and instructed to decorate the gym for the venue.
--not minding all the people around, me, I was making myself busy when I felt a heavy stare.. I don't even have to hover my head; I could see on my peripheral vision a curious cat standing not too far from where I'm at..
--I don't want to see her face just yet.. Tho I've been stealing glances whenever it's her subject,, forcing my neck to keep it still an echo from a speaker startled me..
''ehem''.. uhm, can I have all your attention please..''
--a tall guy,, wearing a smug face holding a mic came up the stage I know him.. his a football captain sophomore 'Jackson wang'' his father once came to visit with bunch of flowers offering a Partership to my father in exchange a date to his son..., as per my father he knows he can't tell me what to do that made his proposal trashed,,,,, I take a look at him and about to put my head down ignoring his presence when he called out my name..
JACKSON: 'lisa~~??
--knitting my eyebrows,, a guy approached me with a bouquet of flowers.. ''daisies'' I'm not sure if he was aware that it's my favorite.. then he spoke again..
JACKSON: Lalisa manoban~~ I am still not giving up,, so please let me court you..!!
--i have my hands gripping too tight at the bouquet, but all I was thinking is that,, what does she feel seeing this,, will she be threatened?? Turning my head to her direction she stares back at me,, my eyes speak to her..
''what will you do miss Kim''?
--giving back my attention to Jackson in poker face I answered..
LISA: do whatever you like~~
--then I walked out,, with my friends following me behind.. I didn't glance at her anymore,, '' you want to keep me waiting? let's see,, not my intension to toy on Jackson's but,, if showing you what you may lost will make you decide faster so be it.. better to made up your mind miss kim..''
----
JENNIE POV
--nayeon give me something to do,, but 90% of my attention consumed by this being Infront of me,, I know she can see me,, her body movement changes as I kept staring at her,,
-- minutes passed Roseanne came holding a disco ball,,
ROSE: I finally was able to find one.. god!! I have been looking for that since yesterday..!!
NAYEON: good job miss park!! (thumbs up) here miss Kim hold this will ask some students to fix that,
--as nayeon giving me the disco ball,, a loud echo made us all look over the stage,,
--a tall student standing in the middle of the stage with stupid grin,, caught my full attention when he says Lisa's name''
''Lisa~~'' he said.. I was waiting for what his going to say when another student came near to Lisa and give her a bouquet of flowers.. ''Its daisies'' its Lisa's favorite flower.. she gave the same flower to me when she confessed, her feelings back then..
;''I don't like where this is going'-- I tell to my self.. then he speaks again.. and this time I am throwing him a sharp glare..' don't even think about it...--
''Lalisa manoban~~ I'm still not giving up!! please let me court you..!!
-he states ..I flinched and landed my eyes to Lisa ,, she has her eyes on me.. '' what is she thinking.. is she asking me a permission? or is she mocking me..-- few seconds after Lisa turn back to that boy and just answered..
''do whatever you like''
-then left.. -- my hold to that disco ball loosen.. rose was fast enough to catch it..
ROSE: Jennie!!! shoot.. you almost dropped it!!
JENNIE: give that to me chip..
ROSE: why??
JENNIE: just give that to me..
--looking at my expression rose embrace the disco ball-
ROSE: NO!! you are not throwing this to him!! Don't you know how hard it is to find this?? Looking for something else !!
---
-I didn't stay to that place any longer.. I went to my office, standing Infront of my desk, gripping the edge of the table.
''this is not happening.. 'but~~ I'm sure the way she response she doesn't care about him..
''what if that guy went beyond and Lisa....- -shaking my head-- I fight back to my own thoughts.. No! she won't!! I'm sure she still loves me,, but Lisa might long for something I can't give~~~..'' stupid Jennie!! stop thinking!!!
--sometimes I really don't understand myself.. when I got back all I was thinking is to have Lisa back to me,, and do anything just for her to forgive me.. I didn't get why I have to feel afraid and think of all those negative possibilities.. I hate myself to let her slide again that night.. I have to clear my mind before anyone will snatch her from me..
--inhaling and releasing it sharply.. I held my chin up..-
'' this is enough,, I can give more than that guy could,, why should I kill myself thinking of this stupid ''what ifs'' I've waited this long to just allow someone try to take my place... that's right.. Stop this nonsense brainstorming,, I should only focus to my only goal.. to claim what's mine..
''Lisa is mine!!-- so he better back off!!