Crying is normal

Let's recall what Selah has known so far.

Aeneas wants the king's chair. His main goal is not the chair itself, but because he wants to kill King Tristan and Blair. From what he has said so far, it is indicated that Aeneas is holding a grudge.

In contrast, King Tristan and Blair have doted on Aeneas so far. King Tristan is famous for gifting Aeneas with jewels, and Blair takes great care of Aeneas. In the public eye, King Tristan and Blair are a good family to Aeneas.

Catalina is stuck in the past, and it's all caused by King Tristan–so says Baron Tullia. Considering that Aeneas loved his mother very much, that could be the reason he wanted to kill King Tristan.

"But what about Blair?" muttered Selah while flipping through Helena's diary.

The answer can only be ascertained from two things:

Aeneas

And Helena's diary, who doesn't even dare Selah finish this.

After exhaling a long breath, there were lots of reasons why he didn't finish it in one sitting even though she could: it was because there was so much distance between her and her mother. Compared to her father, Selah had a worse relationship with her mother.

Helena… The woman squirms with disgust whenever Selah calls her "mom".

***

"Is there still pain?"

Selah, who was only 11 years old at that time, shook her head slowly while trying to hold back her tears. She wanted to say that her arm was very sore and very stiff at the same time. There was a bit of itching in one spot as well, but she didn't dare ask the knight in front of him to scratch it.

"My Lady." Hacket smiled faintly at Selah. "Let's go see Her Grace to ask for a day off. Since you are injured, you should rest, right?"

"To Mother?" again, Selah wasn't sure. "But I can still use the other hand."

"It's not about which hand is hurting." Hacket lightly flicked the tip of Selah's nose. "You fell because you lost focus, right? It must be because you are tired."

"Then tomorrow I'll be even more serious!" said Selah stubbornly. "After all, if it's a holiday-"

"His Grace is away for a few days, right?" Hacket said. "I guess it's fine if you take a day or two off."

"But Mother..."

"We won't know if we don't try it first, right?" Hacket held out his hand with a big grin. "Come on, let's try it first."

Selah and Hacket went together to meet Helena in her office. Considering that Dulcia's family is big, important work is always done by her family members. If Archibald is doing the Palace's work, then Helena will take care of the internal family. It all kept Selah's mom and dad busy. They rarely want to spend unimportant time.

Selah was sure that her current injuries were insignificant. The time off is also not necessary. The important thing is that Selah keeps learning and practicing to be stronger.

"I refuse," Helena said coldly without even a glance at Selah's state. Selah's shirt was dirty because she had just fallen from a horse. One side of her face was injured, and one hand was bandaged. It seemed that her appearance was not enough to attract his attention. "My daughter can still use her other hand."

"Your Grace…" Hacket glanced at Selah briefly. "With all due respect, Her Ladyship's current state would not be optimal for receiving lessons. Thus, it would be better for Her Ladyship to take some time off to rest rather than having less study time."

"And her precious time will be wasted if she doesn't do anything about it," Helena retorted.

"But-"

"No buts, Sir Hacket. Go and teach my daughter as usual tomorrow."

Selah and Hacket left without even Helena seeing or mentioning Selah's name.

Helena always called Selah "my daughter" from the beginning. Selah herself could not remember when her mother had ever said her name. At first, Selah had no problem with it. There may be a time when Helena will call Selah by name when Selah succeeds in something or when she really needs it.

But even when Selah had just been injured that day, Helena still didn't say her name.

Does Mother hate me? thought Selah that night. Her tears fell, either because of the pain in her hand or because she realized that her mother hated her.

The following day too, Selah woke up with swollen eyes from crying all night. The maids must have known that Selah had been crying last night, but not a single word of comfort came from them. And it's all under orders from Helena, who forbade anyone to "spoil" Selah.

"My Lady, you come–what happened to you?!" greeted Hacked as soon as Selah arrived at the field where they usually practice.

"I'm okay, just…." Tears dripped from Selah's eyes. The question she wanted to hear so badly made her cry now. "Forgive me…"

"Why must you apologize, My Lady?"

Selah tried to wipe her tears, but the tears kept flowing. "B-because I was crying…"

"You don't have to apologize just because you cried, My Lady. Crying is normal. Especially yesterday, you just got injured," Hacket led Selah to sit on the sidelines. "Listen, I have good news for you."

"Good news?"

"Yes. Earlier, I went to Her Grace and persuaded her once again. Today and tomorrow, you are allowed not to practice. But in return, you should pay attention to the knights' morning training. What do you think? Wasn't Her Grace nice to you?"

"Really? Mother… allow it?"

"Her Grace loves you, My Lady. She must have been really worried about you, so Her Grace changed her mind."

"Mom loves me…."

"Of course." Hacket wiped Selah's tears. "So, how about we get ready now? I'll have some cold water to wipe your eyes first."

Selah slowly smiled broadly. "Okay!"

Mother loves me, repeated Selah in her heart once again. Because Hacket said it, Selah believed in it.

After that, several similar incidents occurred. Although not often, Selah secretly knows that Helena is watching her through Hacket. Selah was even more convinced that her mother loved her, unlike her father.

But that all changed once Archibald kicked out Hacket.

"Sorry for my… impoliteness, Your Grace. I… do deserve to be punished. So, please. Please don't hit Her Ladyship."

"You heard what he said, Selah?" Duke Dulcia glared at her. "He who voluntarily bears your sins. So punish him."

As she knows, Helena knows it all. Selah also knew that Helena knew that Hacket meant a lot to her. But even though it was hard for Selah to beg her, Helena remained unmoved in her place.

"Get used to it, Selah. Not everyone you care about will always be by your side."

That was the first time Helena said Selah's name.