Goblin.

As much time had passed I could still remember it, the day I could never forget, the height of my humanity.

I was in bed, comfortable and relaxed. I had my own worries at the time.

Who doesn't in this world?

But they were quite limited, well everything in hindsight feels that way. Petty worries like if I made a good impression on a girl I'd liked at the time or if my grades were good enough.

And yet, I spent that day lazily playing video games in bed. In my hands a portable system loaded with pirated games, I must've been playing an RPG at the time I can't recall.

That day had been snowing, however, in contrast my room was as warm as a furnace. I'd been buried in bed all day, with my cat beside me snoring softly. This moment I still think about, so peaceful and full of bliss, I yearn to return to those times.

Sometimes I hope that my time spent here is but a long overdue nightmare, that I would wake up any time now with my obese cat comforting me. After slaughtering a few otherworldly creatures and fighting to the brink of death these notions faded over time, that day had been so long ago that it's distant memory feels like an unperceivable fog.

It had happened to me while I was grinding in my game, the time frame was in an instant. One second I was in bed, the next I had a splitting headache, and finally I was somewhere else.

My bed was no more, the warmth of my room was gone, and in its place was a god damned hole I was squeezed into.

This was my introduction into the [Endless Dungeon.]

In front of me appeared a panel, congratulating me as if I'd won the reward of a lifetime, its contents were as follows;

<< Rejoice Hero, You've been granted opportunity, become the champion to clear this [Endless Dungeon] !! >>

In my bewildered state I didn't notice than, that the panel was most likely mocking me, though it's message soon went away and replaced by my "Status".

It showed me many things on that panel, [Stats], [Trait], and [Talent].

But the most important thing on it was undoubtedly [Significance], like a level indicator of sorts, or so I believed though these conjectures would come much later after my first encounter.

It was perhaps foolish to be so naive at the start, I'd almost equated this to a game of sorts. Like the one I'd been playing before my transmigration here. An RPG, perhaps I believed it as a dream happening after my long session and so I hastily started to leave my hole eager to explore it.

After leaving that crawl space, I must've instinctively realized It wasn't a dream. I scraped myself in the haste to explore, the slight pain and the sensations I felt were undoubtedly real.

"This wasn't a game"

"I could die if this is real"

These realizations had started to crawl into my heart.

I was in another space, in a dungeon of all things. The place of games that would test the player with monsters, and it's when my nature I was all too familiar with had showed itself.

It was apparent with how much I trembled, I was engulfed in fear. My cowardice had told me I didn't want to be here, like a child. I'd have given up before even trying, because I knew If this was real I might die here.

But this didn't truly manifest until I crawled out and met my first encounter.

I saw it after getting on my feet and looking forward.

A hideous green creature, hunched over facing away from me. It's back was covered in thin green hairs, it's skin was a shade of sickly green. It shifted left to right looking at the walls parallel to each other, I caught a glimpse of its eyes it had blood red irises that seemed to glow in the dark.

Reading about it in fiction was one thing, yet to see such a grotesque creature in person was another.

This thing had warts littered across its face, mouth salivating, these characteristics alone instilled a fear in me. My mind didn't know what to make of it, but my body did and quite honestly.

This was without a doubt a goblin, one of the weakest creatures in fiction, but that fact and understanding didn't matter to me at the time.

As pathetic as it sounds, I didn't feel any idignancy upon doing so, when I fell on my ass and backed away, shuffling on all fours to crawl back into my little hole.

My fear and panic felt justified upon the relief i'd felt when I'd crawled back into that sanctuary and away from that creature.

That's how my first encounter with the goblin went.

No, my escape.

But as all things in life you can only run away for so long.

This was an instance of trusting the coward who governed my instincts and would suppress my thinking to prolong his pathetic life. It told me that this hostile creature couldn't get me while I was in here.

My thinking was different than what I was showing, another part of me had concluded that this was at best a temporary solution, and only served to comfort myself.

Rather it was a better option to deal with the creature when I was at my most optimal state than to face it when given no other choice in a weakened state.

But could any regular human being born in a civil society do that?

To face a new and alien external environment head on with boldness and endless bravery? On top of that to kill another living being if need be?

Perhaps some may be able to, but the reality for me wasn't so, rather it was quite somber and bleak, when put to the test I had crumbled.

I was a failure.

Afterwards, I continued a prolonged stay in my hole constantly suppressing the other me who believed they knew better.

For how long I didn't know, It wasn't something I could gauge, I just knew that over time I'd started to feel the effects of late stage dehydration and increasing hunger pangs. It must've been roughly two to three days by this point since my initial encounter if I had to guess.

The desire of staying in that hole had lessened to negligible levels over time, essentially being overpowered by the settling reality. I was afraid sure, but what did that matter when I was going to die?

Most likely from dehydration before starvation, and without having ever done anything about it. I could only hide from this for so long, cowardice could only bring me so far, it'd only delay the inevitable at best.

As a result of feeling it, my impending death, my fears had started to fade. The creature was otherworldly and foreign but staying here was certain doom.

If I was going to die anyways what did it matter if it was sooner than later. This revelation felt so refreshing to me, as if my excuses and cowardice were being worn away by my will to survive and with it the shackles of my mind being freed.

I was still afraid sure, but my fear of dying without having done anything started to culminate and germinate. I was a coward but before that I wanted to survive, these clashing feelings, the irrational and maddening thirst for survival had melded together to harbor a real and concrete solution.

I had to go out.

As I left the hole, my fear had started to fade into nothing. I'd lumbered my way to the creature. It hadn't moved, upon getting closer I realized this creature was much like me in a lot of ways. No, it was worse off. It too was on the brink of death.

It's ribcage was poking out, it's cheeks were sunken in and hollow, these were what I observed on its corpse after wrangling its neck and ending its life. It was too easy a task, as if it were predetermined, such a pathetic creature had nearly killed me without having done a thing.

No I had done that to myself. My own cowardice had done that to me.

Though these thoughts are only after the fact, the only thing on my mind was my thirst and hunger, in spite of my trash stats I somehow managed to take a life to save my own.

That much in itself is quite human.

In hindsight it was quite Anti-climatic, though what followed after was a mellow chime ringing in my ears.

This is when I became aware of my [Trait]

"Ding! [Plunder] Activates!"

"Ding! [Low-Tier Nimbleness] Acquired"

"Ding! [Rations] Acquired"

"What-"

Without getting a second to retort, I started to feel my body heat up in pain as I was brought to my knees from the pain.

In the most excruciating minute that followed I could feel my body reforming in real time, the fat that remained and the muscles in my body had started to break down and rebuild itself back up until I was covered in a pool of my own sweat, my gift [Plunder] had activated upon the death of this creature.

I've never felt so much agony in that minute, though what followed after was a pleasant power spreading throughout my body. My body had become leaner and I think I may have grown taller?

Sure I changed but did it matter in the face of my thirst and hunger?

The [Ration] promised was scattered before me, in front of my eyes I saw my lifeline. Dried biscuits, what seemed to be jerky, and a flask filled with water.

To live to see another day had superseded my desire to grow stronger, in this moment I was still human.

I wasn't excited to get stronger, that feeling wasn't exhilarating nor was it enjoyable.

To begin with it was such a painful process, who would enjoy it?

To want to live another day, to have joy in having food and water reminded me of this fact, the desire of survival superseding the desire for strength is a rare instance and one I'd later forget. For now my strength was a means for survival, however, this is where it all began.

I spent my first day as a human and before the week had ended, I was a murderer.

Though that's a harsh thing to state right? It's not as if it was a human being that I killed, it was a goblin a fantasy creature and yet without hesitation to save my own life I'd killed it. Perhaps i'm being too harsh on myself, especially when I was by all counts justified by doing so, I'm overthinking things again.

But...

Did you know that I wasn't even aware of my [Trait]?

That's right I didn't bother to even inspect my situation in those two days, I'd just tried to escape it and hide from it.

I would have gutted the creature, ate its raw remains. Bacteria, being unsanitary? To hell with that, such thoughts didn't occur at the time. The activation of [Plunder] and the pain that followed sobered me from that state, but for a moment I found a new part of myself, and I didn't like it.

I realized this shortly after I'd started eating, when I had time to come back to my senses. My hands were shaking.

I was scared, I was afraid of what took over before I was aware of my [Trait]

One on hand, I was wary about what I might end up becoming. On the other what choice did I have?.

The humanity I brought form the world over had started to wear away, and yet there was nothing I could do to prevent it.

These multilayered thoughts happened in an instant, they were than suppressed by the taste of the rations. It was bitter, and dry. The water metallic and cold, my tears were salty but warm.

I had survived, and that was all that mattered at the moment.