Chapter 7

"Yes, I am married. I've been married for five long years."

And your heart just crushes into a million pieces. Just then, You realize what you didn't before simply because you had it all along.

And it becomes harder to do the right thing. I keep looking at her. Her eyes look more glowing, her lips look so damn shiny I wish I could smash them with mine right at this moment.

But then no. She is not mine. She will never be mine. Probably she just had a little misunderstanding with her husband. Eventually, she will get back to him and they will be happy. It will hurt a little more to have more memories with her in this state. I know.

My mouth is stuck on words. I just swallow my liquid and step closer to the door. I slowly open it. My heart bleeds when my ears register her sobbing, probably her cheeks are already wet and her heart is bleeding too. Or maybe, she just thought she could use me to be happy for a while.

What if that was the fact? What if this is the last time she will ever smile the way she did? Again what if I am just finding justification in case I became the villain of her marriage?

My eyes burn. I didn't even realize they were until I saw the tears on my shirt. It's only been a week and I am already this weak. After some time, the door knocks. I open to see the lady with dinner in her hands.

"It's a surprise you didn't open the door at the smell of the food," The middle-aged woman puts the treys on the table. "Thank goodness you two decided to eat together today. We were running out of plates." She seems grateful. I just force a smile.

"I will call the young lady and tell her dinner is ready. By the way," She puts her hand on my shoulder, "My daughter is a fortunate teller, she liked you two the moment she saw you. She said she definitely sees something in you guys."

How I wish to tell her what she just saw was one big fantasy that will never come to reality. But then it feels good. It's hurting, yet the pain feels so good. It feels good that someone else is having the same fantasy that I too, am having. It would be great if it was going to come true.

I take a sit and remove the banana leaves from the dinner plates. The door knocks and without me saying anything, it opens. For the first time in a week, she knocked on the door. Now the barrier is being formed. I don't know at what rate but I have a feeling it will get stronger.

"I can take my food if you don't feel like staying with me tonight,"

"Well, the dinner is served on the same plates for both of us," for the first time, I am cold to her.

She sighs, " Then I can come back later after you are done. I don't mind,"

"Just sit here and eat," My voice is lower.

"I can't eat with you being like this,"

"Being like what?!" I didn't know my voice could get so loud.

"With you being mad at me! I came here because I hate awkward silence and you or anyone else is going to give me that here!"

"So it's always you! You came here to be happy! what about me? I came here to be happy too, to forget about my problems, not to flirt with someone's wife!"

She lets out a tear in disbelief. She steps closer to me, her eyes locked into mine. Another tear falls down her eye. Then she slaps me. One passionate slap as painful as the feeling she has down her heart I suppose, "You just made me lose my appetite," She turns around and moves closer to the door.

"What if I slept with you?" And then she stops. "What if I fell too deeply in love with you?" My eyes burn again. "With my career, it is so hard to find the person who will love me enough to bear with my flaws. I came here because of that, where no one expects anything from me. I came here to have fun too, with people who don't know me. Probably, that's why I don't even go to those famous restaurants here, because I might be exposed. So why?" I turn around to face her, "Why should I have to experience something unpleasant while I'm here? Do you think what you've done is fair?"

"I thought," she swallows her liquid, " we agreed not to know each other's background," she sobs, "That was the deal."

"Does that mean feelings were not supposed to be involved?" Something that doesn't need permission to be felt?

"Do you have feelings for me?" My heart stopped beating at the question. My eyes brightened whenever I saw her. My lips craved hers whenever she licked them, the site of her playing around made me feel joy. And at some point, my blood boiled too much that it was hard to control myself when I saw her for the first time, then when she wore only a bikini and that transparent bra.

Are those things enough to say I have them? Those feelings? Or maybe because I haven't been around a woman for quite some time? Everything is just so confusing I wish I could just die.

"I don't know. I may have them... and I may not," she nods. "And you said you were no longer hungry. I'd like to sleep"

she takes a deep breath and nods before turning around and closing the door behind her. And now, the barrier has become stronger and I don't think it will ever break.

The night keeps getting longer and longer. I close my eyes, but my brain fails to take me to a new world even for a second. My thought goes numb and only one name is appearing inside my head over and over again.

Moonlight!

Midnight is welcomed by my growling stomach. I laugh at the thought of craving food at this hour and in this state. My smile, however, fades away the moment she comes into my mind. Just like me, she hasn't eaten anything. I feel dumb and dumber when I remember she did not eat a thing during the day.

Pride is something that I have to swallow. My mind can't be calm knowing she is getting weaker.

She should at least get the energy she needs to shout or stare at me the next morning, right? I get up from my messy bed. I take a deep breath, silently cursing every mess that's happening in my life right now. Why of all the beautiful islands, I had to land on this one?

I knock on her door, " Moo... Moonlight?" No answer. I suspected that much. I knock on the door again, " I know you can hear me. If I knock and you hit something, I will take it as you don't want to see me. otherwise, I am getting in." I knock on the door again and nothing is hit.

I close my eyes as I open the door. My eyes widen at the site of the Moonlight I know lying helplessly on the floor.

"Moonlight!"