Columbus, Georgia. April 8th, 12:02.
Standing before the pile of Broken and mangled flesh and metal, the street around me reduced to a fine dust, I still only feel empty.
Giving the corpse one last disinterested glance, I turn around to walk back to my apartment, thoughts slowly swirling about dully in my head.
My power changed when-
My power has changed.
I vaguely understand why, but I shove that thought away to focus on the present.
Like the corpse of Mannequin behind me. That means that the others will probably come at some point too.
In the back of my mind, I know that I should be sticking with the Heroes, that they would help me.
...But I just don't care anymore.
๐๐ต'๐ด ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ง๐ข๐ถ๐ญ๐ต ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ.~
I pause in my stride as that woman's words come back to me, not that they have left me alone since she said them.
Because she's right.
They're all gone, and it's all my fault.
๐๐ต'๐ด ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ง๐ข๐ถ๐ญ๐ต ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ฐ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐บ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ง๐ข๐ค๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด ๐ง๐ช๐จ๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ถ๐ค๐ณ๐ข๐ค๐บ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฐ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข๐ด ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐ข ๐ฏ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ณ.~
The me of before would probably have scoffed at such a claim, but I cannot do the same.
Because after I told them that I quit, the Director tried to get me to stay.
"We need all the Heroes we can get right now, I know you are hurting right now, but so are so many others! But you can help them," he would say.
But why should I care?
I don't know these people. Who are they compared to who I've already lost?
Then he had the sheer fucking ๐จ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ to use their names against me. To speak about them as if he knows anything!
I start breathing heavily and pick up the pace to reach my apartment, needing to be there now.
๐๐ฆ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ญ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ ๐ช๐ง ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ'๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ฉ๐ข๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ท๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ด๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฎ.~
My fists clench themselves as her words refuse to leave me alone and I briefly lose my hold on my power, causing a ring of destruction to manifest around me, every single thing within a five metre radius being simultaneously Broken.
But I see my apartment just up ahead and break out into a desperate sprint.
I jump through the shattered front windows and rush up the damaged stairs until I get to my room and burst inside, not having bothered with locking it, with hardly anyone being stupid enough to rob people while the Nine are in town.
๐๐ฉ๐บ ๐ฅ๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฆ๐ด ๐จ๐ฆ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ, ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฐ ๐ข๐ค๐ต๐ถ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐บ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ต๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ง๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ค๐ณ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ?~
The memory of her words hits me like a train and I hastily rush to the bathroom, throwing my shoulder bag of food on the couch as I run past.
My arms are frantic and jittery as I reach over the cluttered kitchen counter, causing me to knock a bunch of shit on the flaw by the time I reach what I was looking for.
Desperation driving me, I don't hesitate a single moment as I bring the knife forward and dig it deep into my unblemished arm, only stopping once I hit bone.
Haaaaaaah.
I let out a long, drawn out sigh as my body slumps forward, my tension draining away once I feel the pain start to burn, the physical momentarily overshadowing the emotional.
But it's never that easy.
๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ถ๐ด๐ต๐ช๐ค๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต?~
The knife leaves my body with a shudder and I swiftly drive it back in, making an entirely new hole, just as deep.
Another groan leaves me and I lean forward until my sweat ridden forehead is resting on my sinks mirror as her words refuse to leave me alone.
๐๐ง ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ญ๐บ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ง๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ.~
I raise the knife and drive it back down once again, my legs starting to feal weak as my body shudders even harder from the growing pain.
๐๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐ง๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด, ๐ง๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ข๐ญ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต'๐ด ๐ณ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ธ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ.~
Tears start gathering in my eyes as I continue to flood the sink with blood.
๐๐ง ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ง๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐ง๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด, ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐บ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ด๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ญ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ.~
My teeth clench as rage briefly takes to the forefront of my mind, and I feel my next stab fracture my ulna, bringing me to my knees from the pain.
๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ด๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฎ.~
Now below the sink, I don't stop stabbing myself, ignoring my blood as it splatters all over the floor, counter and my clothes. Rage and sorrow warring in my mind.
Sorrow for what I have lost, and rage for the part I played in it.
If only I'd have ignored orders. Ignored morals and my job.
If I'd have just killed those ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฆ๐ด, then at least He would still be alive.
If I'd just done that, then I wouldn't be alone.
๐๐ญ๐ญ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฅ๐ฐ, ๐ช๐ด ๐ฃ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ง๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ.~
Yes.
Fuck them.
Fuck bureaucracy. Fuck the PRT and fuck being a Hero.
Fuck being 'Carrot'. It was a stupid name anyway.
Fuck all of that.
I will start over. Born anew.
Only this time, I will be free.
I will do whatever I want, and for anyone who tries to get in my way? Who tries to ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ต๐ณ๐ฐ๐ญ me, to ๐ฅ๐ช๐ค๐ต๐ข๐ต๐ฆ my life?
Rising from the ground, my left arm hanging limp at my side, steadily dripping blood, and my breaths heavy and haggard, I look myself in the mirror, with determination blazing in my eyes.
๐'๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ญ๐ญ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฎ.
Later, after putting the food I got, all non salted, in an ice box, I decide to go to sleep early, not bothering with cleaning up any of the blood, only wrapping some bandages around my arm as a temporary solution.
It's not like this will kill me after all.
The next day, after sleeping in, I decide to go for a walk in the hopes of clearing my head, as well as perhaps encountering another of the Nine.
They are already coming for me after all, so it's better to meet them in the street than my apartment.
I've been thinking about it, and maybe joining them won't be so bad.
It's not like I've got anything else.
No friends, no family, no prospects.
I'm not going to be a Hero ever again. I ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ง๐ถ๐ด๐ฆ to.
But I know from my parahuman studies class, as well as experience, that we parahumans are unable to go without using our powers, so I can't just like, get a normal job.
I'm still not really comfortable with all the killing and torturing they do, but one thing that cannot be denied, no matter how you think about them, is that the Slaughterhouse Nine?
They are ๐ง๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ.
Nobody can tell them what to do. They just do what they want, whenever they want, and I ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต.
All I have to do is pass five more stupid tests, or just kill the test giver like I did with Mannequin.
Considering who they are, killing them will probably make the living ones actually like me.
And who knows? Maybe I'll be able to influence them into being less murderous.
I might not want to be a Hero, but I also don't want to be a mass murderer either.
A couple of hours wandering about later, and a sudden voice from my side grabs my attention as I walk through empty streets, the city looking more and more like a warzone with every passing day.
"Oi. You Carrot?" The voice comes from an alley to my right and I stop my walk to face them.
The owner of the voice is an ugly man, who looks as if he has been mauled by a bear multiple times, his face and bald head completely covered in scars. His body is well built, clearly showing plenty of strength, but it's the hatchet in his hand that gives his identity away the most.
I can understand at least why he would feel the need to ask who I am at least.
After all, I didn't technically own my Hero costume, not that I'd want to wear it anyway, so I'm just wearing a pair of black cargo pants, a simple black long sleeved shirt with a tan cargo jacket over the top and a dark brown, hooded poncho over that.
I also have a bandana wrapped around my neck, either to hide my face if I feel the need, but mainly for the same reason I have the poncho.
If Shatterbird does her thing again, I can Break and and all the glass she sends at me, but there would still be the dust left over so I have the poncho and bandana to cover up should the need arise.
No one likes getting their clothes filled with dust.
"Don't call me that," is my bland reply as I squarely face Hatchet Face, "that isn't me anymore. Just call me Lucy."
He snorts at my words, but I just continue to stare at him blankly, with eyes that I know for a fact no longer hold any light to them. Sometimes I struggle to even recognise myself in the mirror.
As he gets closer, I prepare myself, waiting for him to get in the range of my power so I can reduce him to a pile of Broken parts.
I remain still as he moves closer. Closer.
Just a little bit closer.
๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ.
With a flex of will, I release my hold on my power, allowing it to run rampant, just the same as it always does when I do not hold it back.
But nothing happens.
Well, I guess that answers that then. It seems that his range is greater than mine.
I let out a short sigh at the thought, and he stops walking with a truly horrendous grin on his face.
"Saw what you did to Mannequin, nice work by the way, but it seems that my range is better than yours, eh? Still though, you killed that cyborg wannabe and that's got you in my good books as far as I'm concerned, so I'll keep my test simple."
Huh, I guess I was right about killing them being the way to gain favour, but I didn't think that would kick in so quickly.
Or maybe he just didn't like Mannequin. I know he hates Brutes, but maybe he just hates parahumans in general?
I don't know.
I don't really care either.
I can't use my power against him, so there's really nothing to be done. Best to just go along with it, pass the stupid test and get one more step closer to freedom.
Without saying a word, I just raise a brow and keep staring blankly at him, causing him to click his tongue.
"Aight, just hold out an arm and don't flinch," he impatiently taps his foot as I roll back my left sleeve, showing my bare, unblemished arm.
Then I simply hold it out to my side, never once breaking eye contact.
He raises his namesake, and swings it down in a brutal arc that ploughs through my arm, not by a sharp edge, but purely due to raw, animalistic brute force.
A sickening crunch sounds out as my arm is disconnected in the middle of the bicep, and I feel my body shudder and my knees grow weak at the pain, yet my face doesn't so much as twitch as I continue to stare unflinchingly into his eyes.
"Hn. You're hardly any less boring than ol' knife hands. At least your better to look at," he finishes with an incredibly crude grin and I have to fight to keep my expression impassive in the face of his suggesting words.
After a moment of staring at each other in almost silence, the only sound being that of my blood steadily dripping out of my stump of an arm, he eventually clicks his tongue again and turns around without a word.
I wait without moving for a minute until I am sure he is gone. Only then do I allow myself to relax, a sigh leaving my body as my shoulder slump.
A small smile graces my face, if only for a brief moment.
Well, that was easy.
Only four to go now.
Reaching down with my remaining arm, I raise the cut of limb back to it's stump, making sure that it is aligned roughly how it should be.
Then, I let go of my hold over my power once again.
The world around me Breaks. Concrete and tarmac turning to a fine powder. A chunk is cut cleanly out of a nearby building's wall that I was standing a little too close to.
But that is not all. As everything around me Breaks, I become whole instead.
My arm rapidly fixes itself, reconnecting the limb and closing the wound, leaving my arm undamaged, only the blood on the arm itself remaining, which I quickly take out a cloth to wipe clean, dropping my sleeve back down afterwards.
Checking my watch, I see that it is a little past midday and decide to keep walking for a bit longer. Maybe look for some place to sit and relax.
Maybe someone is still working a food stall or something around here somewhere. I could go for a good burger right now.
=================
A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
So! Lucy is now well and truly broken, no pun intended, and what's this? She can heal now!? I wonder how that happened?
And she seems to think she can influence the Nine to be less murderous... oh you poor girl, we all know it's the opposite that's going to happen. They just have to ween her into killing people and she'll be prime Nine material.
Also, I know this mini arc has dragged on, but I don't want to just go "oh and then everything happened and they left" y'know? There should only be 5 more chapters of this till we can finally move on to all the actually fun ideas in my head and more plot stuff. I want to get to canon already!!!
It's gonna take so longgggg >:(
(5+)Advanced chapters with the links below!
pat/reon.com/user?u=41732867 (get rid of the first slash or check the description)
Also, join the discord with this invite code! Pj3Dttwses