Getting Knocked Around
Ashton had come over immediately after I had called him. At first he was excited when he pulled up, but as always, he immediately knew something was up with me as he started to inquire about my face. I brought him straight to my room so my dad wouldn't see me in this state. At this moment I just didn't feel like worrying him with these silly emotions.
I was too embarrassed because of my own stupid actions.
As soon as Ashton closed my room door behind us, I burst into ugly tears much to his surprise. And for the past three hours I've been laying down side by side with Ashton. He held me and stroked the back of my head gently as I sobbed uncontrollably into his chest.
"H-hey," Ashton finally said as my crying died down a bit. "I'm not sure what's going on, but how about we start by getting rid of whatever is reminding you of what's making you sad."
I lifted my head and Ashton wiped my snotty nose with his shirt immediately. "Get rid of it all? Everything?"
"Yeah, it may help you not feel so sad if nothing reminds you of it. Just looking at the things are going to bring up bad memories," Ashton wiped the tears on my cheeks. "It's just a suggestion. I'd just like to see you smile again."
"I'm sorry about your shirt."
"It's fine, I have a spare in my bag." Ashton assured me. "Should I help you get rid of the things that make you sad? I don't want you making yourself more sick. You're already starting to get a fever and your poor face, we should ice it now."
"Forget my face. I'll get a trash bag," I told him.
"You just sit down and drink the water," Ashton handed me the water bottle from my nightstand. I took it and started to drink. "All I have to say is that you should rely on me a bit more. I understand that you have your pride but the facts are if you stress yourself out, you'll only make yourself sicker, then you'll really be in a tough situation. You don't have to go through things alone like that. I'll have your back no matter what."
Ashton was absolutely right. I can be free to walk away from all this now. And he says I'm no match for him. Maybe I couldn't beat Vincenzo in a fight for a million years, but I can win in other ways.
Movies and anime often show stories of main characters getting stronger to get revenge or defeat an enemy. However, it's all fiction.
In my reality, if I tried to fight or even attempt a training montage, I'd keel over and die early or find myself in a worse position health wise. So, like Ashton told me, I was going to stop stressing. I wasn't going to get my hands dirty because I had my own indirect way of getting my revenge.
It'll be a piece of cake.
"Thanks a lot, Ashton. Um, tomorrow is Saturday, and it's already late, so do you want to sleep over?" I asked.
"Can I?" Ashton looked super excited again. Like a golden retriever.
"My dad can lend you some clothes," I told him. "Don't tell him that I've been crying, and if he asks about your shirt, tell him I had a big sneeze. He'll understand."
"Got it!" I watched him leave my room and sighed. I do feel better after crying it out and honestly, I cried for less time this time. It's all because, for the first time in my life, I felt that someone other than my dad had my back. Maybe Ashton could be trusted.
Definitely more than Vincenzo could be trusted, that's for sure.
Ashton was truly a breath of fresh clean air into my life. Looking back, deciding to get to know him was the best decision I had ever made. I'm glad I met him and I'm glad that he was ok having someone like me as his friend.
Hopefully, soon, I can tell him about the lifelong problem I've had with Vincenzo, and Ashton won't abandon me for Vincenzo's side. I knew cutting Vincenzo off was going to isolate me and make me a ripe target for the bullies at school, but if I had Ashton as my friend through that, it probably won't be too hard to deal with anymore. After all, he seemed more than happy to help.
"I got the change of clothes," Ashton walked back into my room with his shirt already changed and a book in hand. "Can I borrow this?"
It was a first edition copy of a book my dad said my mom liked to read a lot called In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust. "You like those novels?"
"Yeah, do you?"
"I've never read it, but I do like the title."
"It's a difficult read for me, and this is seven volumes long just to reflect on the past. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not the strongest reader, but this is one of my favorite books. It's interesting how he compares his memories in the past to Polaroids. Unless it happened yesterday, little things, no matter how important, tend to be forgotten. It's the special moments and intense emotions that are captured as short snapshots.
"Eventually, how those moments happened become blurry and life events become confused. Like a dream you can't remember. The events become so far removed from reality that they no longer feel real and like old photos, they're just stored in a corner somewhere.
"It really shows how our memories can affect all parts of your life. Ah, here's the passage I like. 'We can find everything we need in our memories. Memory is like a pharmacy or chemical lab. We reach in and sometimes find a soothing cure, or sometimes a dangerous poison.' I find it a fascinating view into the human psyche. Am I talking too much?"
"Not at all!" I assured him. I'm just glad someone wanted to talk to me. "I'm enjoying it! You are really well read and I'm interested in this."
"Thank god, Vincenzo and Martin always tell me I talk too much and they call me annoying! Especially when I talk about book stuff."
"You do talk a lot, but I don't see the problem with it. I like it."
Ashton's face lit up and he sat down beside me. "I like talking to you the most!" He said. "It's really fun and you're smart enough to have a back and forth about it! It's pretty stimulating for my mind."
"Why are you friends with Vincenzo?" I asked.
"I'm would consider us more acquaintances. Like I said Martin is his friend, not me. We're only cool because he didn't out me at first." Ashton explained. He made an uncomfortable face and sighed. "I got caught kissing a guy in middle school."
"So you like guys?"
"Yeah."
"And you're ok just admitting it?"
"Yeah,"
"Why?"
"Well there's no point in me lying about it and It's not like I'm still in the closet either, it's just that no one, aside from my parents, has ever been interested in me enough to ask me what I like. If my excessive talking doesn't turn them off, its that my personality doesn't match my face. Plus who could do anything to me about it?" He told me. "Does this make you uncomfortable?"
"No!" I answered quickly.
"I was going to tell you eventually, I just never found the right time."
"It's fine, I don't care what gender you like. In fact, I've had a crush on a guy before."
"Are you gay or bi?"
"I'm not sure, I've only ever liked that person, so I never really made an attempt to like someone else."
"Do you still like that guy?"
"Yes, but I've been trying my hardest not to anymore. The feelings are indeed fading quickly. In fact they might already be gone and I'm just clinging onto what's familiar." I admitted. Im sure Ashton wanted to know who, but I was extremely grateful that he didn't ask any follow up questions. "It's a hard thing to do. I just want to forget them, but the scales are incredibly uneven, so it's hard for me to do."
"You want revenge then?"
"Despite my soft demeanor, I am extremely petty just like my dad. I want things to be square, and for them to be square in my eyes, he has to suffer more than I did." I told him. "I hate people who trample on my sincerity. I hate being treated like a doormat and I hate being spoken of like I'll die tomorrow. Because of him, everyone makes fun of me and calls me hospice boy! No one can even see how much of a fucking piece of shit that guy actually is. It's my duty to claim back my dignity as a man, right?"
"He must've really pissed you off."
"It's a long time coming. Trust me, he deserves it."
"Do you want me to just beat him up for you? I can beat them until you're pleased," Ashton offered. If I took that offer, I'd be turning my friend into a murderer.
"No! I won't have to lift a finger for my revenge," I smiled. Ashton looked intrigued, as if he wanted to know more, but he didn't pry. "Just doing better than him will torture his soul. So I'll be doing that."
"You brainiacs are no joke. You look a bit scary."
"We're in the same classes, you're smart too."
"Honestly, I cheated last semester. Someone else did all my homework and I cheated on my tests and quizzes. When I saw that I had AP classes this year, I got to studying, these classes are actually really hard for me."
"I'll tutor you."
"Are you sure? I'm not very smart. You'll have to be extremely patient with me because it might be struggle."
"I'm a patient guy, trust me, no charge." I told Ashton. "In return, tell me more about that memory thing."
"Oh, the memory thing! As a situation changes, the memories you have stored can come to the surface but can be inaccurate depending on who you speak too about it. That's why memory is completely subjective. Depending on what happened, two people who went through something together can have completely different memories or the event. So what do you think? Does it help you with your problem?"
"Maybe," that's right, memory is subjective. I remember a long time ago, when Vincenzo and I were kids, that he had severely scraped his leg while we were playing outside. I remember feeling like I had wanted to leave him there and not help him as I didn't like him very much. But I also remember feeling sorry for some reason and hugging him until he stopped crying out of habit.
In my emotionally confused state, I picked him up and carried him on my back to where our parents were. It was the first time I realized that I really liked him and would do whatever I could to help him when he was in trouble. I never believed it was anything more than a touching moment that I was able to feel sympathy. I think it was the first time I ever felt pity.
But Vincenzo probably felt something completely different on that walk. I wonder if he hated me back then as well. Was I just making him feel disgusted too back then? All of a sudden I began to question everything I remembered.
It was all so confusing.
Vincenzo's ex girlfriend, Minnie Thompson, had spoken to me once. She had stopped me in the hallway to berate me about attending the same school as her and Vincenzo again. Of all Vincenzo's girlfriends, I think she lasted the longest and was probably his first love.
I remember seeing things in Vincenzo's room that he hadn't gotten rid of yet, most likely because he was too lazy to do it himself, not because he wasn't over her. He didn't really talk about her much. The only thing I remember about that girl was her huge fucking ego.
Also that Vincenzo dumped her and he said it was because of me.
Sunday passed uneventfully. Ashton had gone home and returned with an overnight bag so we could head to school early the next day. We must've gone through the things in my room about six times before everything that reminded me of Vincenzo was finally in the trash.
"What happened to your face?" Dad asked immediately after he saw my swollen black eye and the handprint around my neck, where Vincenzo had attacked me.
"My first fight dad," I told him. "Don't worry, this is the only damage on me. Ashton was there to help me, you should see the other guys."
"Who did it?"
"We don't know them. Just random thugs from another school," Ashton covered for me. Luckily dad dropped it for now.
"What's going on with Vinny?" Dad asked me as he sat down at the breakfast table. "He's suddenly going out when he shouldn't be, he's always been a good boy, do you know what's going on?"
"I don't know, we barely talk anymore. I don't really care about it to be honest," I told him while elbowing Ashton to keep quiet.
"That's just awful, did you at least call him and let him know about his grandmother coming to visit? Im afraid his parents got too busy to tell him about it again." Dad added.
"I did give him a call last night," I lied. Vincenzo's grandmother was a tough woman who took no nonsense from anyone. But one thing I was sure of was that she wasn't that fond of Vincenzo and Vincenzo wasn't to keen on her either, which works for me.
When we arrived at school together, I had Ashton join me to wait for Minnie. "Shouldn't you be in the line for the morgue?" Id know that bitchy voice anywhere. "Your face looks like shit."
"Vincenzo made me come give this too you, you know how unromantic he is," I held out the rose I bought this morning and a heart chapped box of chocolates, the brand Vincenzo bought for all his girlfriends.
"Um, thanks," she took the items awkwardly and continued into her classroom. "You should go to the nurses office. You really do look like shit."
"I know," I said. Ashton followed close behind me as we walked away.
"Vincenzo is already dating Ashley Tiggs," Ashton pointed out to me.
"I know." I smiled at him. I just felt the need to embarrass Vincenzo in front of everyone, like he did with me so many times.
"But you know this is going to break those two up, right?" Ashton prodded. "And he never told you to give her the chocolates, you bought them on the way to school. She'll probably tell him that you told her that."
"Hm," I shrugged. "Is that so? Won't you just beat him up for me then?"
"Well yeah. Then...are you sure you don't want to cover up your bruises? They're looking pretty bad today. You didn't even put any medicine on it."
"I'm leaving them out for a reason," I explained. When Vincenzo saw them, he'd be reminded that I had tried to help him but he violently turned that help down.
Ashton and I had finally arrived at our classroom together. Mentally I was prepared for whatever backlash from Vincenzo I was going to receive. But nobody really paid attention to us unless it was to whisper in shock about my bruised face.
Walking past Vincenzo and Martin to get to my own seat was a bother. We had locked eyes but, for the first time, I turned away from him first.
"Hey did you see that?"
"Vinny the hospice kid just glared at you!"
"Isn't that your errand boy?"
"You let him get away with way too much, Vin."
"Teach him a lesson Vinny."
I heard his friends egg him on. I almost forgot the only downside to my plan. Everyone would turn and bully me if I went against Vincenzo and I'd be merciless teased. But it's ok, because I prefer it to the pain I feel when I see his face.
I sat down in my chair next to Ashton and listened to him mindlessly chat away. "Uh-oh, here comes trouble," he suddenly said gesturing to the front of the room. I looked up to see that Minnie Thompson had just walked into the classroom.
I could tell that she had fixed up her hair and makeup, because she looked even better than she did about fifteen minutes ago. Her smile was bold and brave as she walked straight up to Vincenzo.
"So all this time you were playing like you were over me, but you remember our anniversary?" Minnie chuckled at Vincenzo's confused face. I could see the panic set in as Ashley Tiggs, Vincenzo's current girlfriend, slammed her fist down on her desk and headed over to them.
Oh, did I forget today was their special anniversary of when they first had sex? Did I buy her favorite flavor box of chocolates from her favorite candy shop in the next town over? I almost burst out laughing at my genius. Thank god Ashton was willing to drive me there.
And thank you so much, Minnie!
"What are you talking about?" Ashley demanded. "He's not dating you anymore! What anniversary?!"
"He got my favorite chocolates for me and a single red rose this morning. Our secret code."
"So you were trying to get back with your ex this entire time! Are you just dating me to make her jealous or something?!" Ashley burst into tears before slapping Vincenzo across his cheek and running from the classroom.
When Vincenzo tried to go after her, Minnie stepped in his way and smushed the box of chocolates in his face. "I was actually coming here to throw this back in your face, I didn't know you were dating Ashley. I've already upgraded and I won't be downgrading to an immature asshole like you. Have fun reaping what you sow."
And like the boss bitch Minnie was, she flipped her hair and strutted from the classroom as it erupted in whispers about what just went down.
HA! In your fucking face!
"Remind me to never get on your bad side," Ashton said in shock. "No wonder you made me drive all around this morning. Who would've guessed that you could be this fierce."
"I told you, everything I'm going to do has been coming to this person for a long time," I chuckled. "I wish I had recorded that, it was so cool. I just didn't think that I'd see my plans bear fruit so soon."
I bet it would've felt great to see his face look so angry and full of hate when it comes to me. By lunch time, the entire school was talking about how Vincenzo was a dirty rotten cheater, or how he uses girls so he can try to get his exs back. Even one rumor said that he was a simp that was pining after and stalking Minnie.
This would definitely follow him through my the rest of the school year.
A few days later I had noticed a picture of Vincenzo and I as kids hanging in the living room. I scowled at it because I wondered if his smile in that picture was as fake as he was. It wasn't the first time I had ever thought something like that.
I took it off the wall and broke the flimsy frame to take the picture out. There was zero point to this, but I wanted it gone, so I threw it out. Ashton's suggestion to throw out everything that reminded me of Vincenzo was actually genius!
What can I do to feel even better?
Sometimes Vincenzo smelled like cigarettes, but that's probably thanks to his dad. As far as I knew, Vincenzo didn't smoke, but I wish he'd get caught smoking somewhere. I should check his bag for some when no one was looking.
"Danny?" Dad called from the dining room.
"I'm fine," I took a deep breath recomposing myself and went into the dining room to join my dad, Vincenzo's parents, his brother Giacomo and his grandmother.
"Just how is this bambino being raised, Enzo?" Vincenzo's grandmother, Marcella, shook her head at Vincenzo's dad. "I was hoping he wouldn't turn out like a mafiosi, but even those people have enough manners to be there for dinner with their Nonna."
"Mamma, come on," Vincenzo's father tried.
"No! Enzo, how can Giacomo learn from his elder brother like this? If this is what he's like normally, it's no wonder that Giacomo doesn't want to come back home." Marcella continued. "If he wasn't-"
"Nonna, let me serve you some food," Giacomo got her to stop complaining much to everyone's relief.
"Of course sweetie! I shouldn't even be taking about this in front of you. You're so well behaved like little Danny over there," Marcella laughed and took the plate of chicken piccata.
"What's going on? Can you get a hold of him, Dan?" Vincenzo's mom asked me.
"I told him, but he says he's out with friends, so he won't answer me," that's a lie. Most likely, Vincenzo had no idea what was going on. See, Marcella DeVellis wasn't just a pit bull, she was the matriarch of her family and what she said usually went. No doubt she would get Vincenzo all the way together!
"That stupid kid!" Vincenzo's mom sighed in frustration. Ah, this feels amazing!
"Here, Nonna, have some Garlic Bread, it's on focaccia bread," I held out the bread basket to her. "I made it myself."
"Grazie, Danny!" She smiled back at me. "By the way, it looks like you've found a treatment that works. You look like you've come back to life after such a long time!"
"I do?" Was I looking better now? The only thing that's changed is that I've dropped the tumor that was Vincenzo.
"Si, let's toast to your improving health!" She held up her glass of wine and everyone followed suit. "ALLA TUA!!!"
"ALLA TUA!!" We all clinked our glasses to toast my health.
"What will you do about Vinny?" My dad asked Vincenzo's dad when Nonna was distracted.
"I'm cancelling his debit card as we speak. I swear there's no getting through to that boy," he shook his head.
I wish Ashton were here to share my victory. Either way once I got to school the next day, I gave him the rundown on everything. I even told him that someone said I looked healthier and he agreed with that.
"I have you to thank for this," I smiled at Ashton who now looked a bit shocked as a blush took over his face. "If I hadn't met you, I'd be alone and I probably wouldn't have the courage to do anything. I would've kept feeling sorry for myself. To show you how grateful I am, I've made a lunch for us both."
"Have I....well you're.....I'll take the food if you cooked it," Ashton was red as a tomato. I guess he's weak to flattery.
"I have another question about the memory stuff, if you don't mind."
"Shoot."
"I thought about it a lot these past couple days, but can memories really be wrong?"
"I wouldn't say wrong since we all experience things differently, but they can certainly be distorted."
"But how? Like remembering something that's red as blue?"
"Possibly."
"Bullshit, they'd have to be colorblind."
"There's plenty of examples of witness to crime giving incorrect information."
"That's because things happened so suddenly, Ashton. I meant like more personal old memories, things you can't forget," I clarified.
"Hm, well let me give an example. When I was six I remember getting in some man's car with my mother. I remember him as the guy my mom cheated on my dad with. I remember my mom and the guy taking a stop at the bank, because I was left in a hot car. After they got back to the car, he took us to buy some things.
"Very soon after that, my parents separated and I resented my mother for a few days for it. But when I finally talked to my mother about it, I realized that my memory was completely different from hers. The man in the car was actually a thief who had kidnapped us and tried to drain my moms bank account. They got back together after a month though." Ashton finished. "So, to my understanding, my memory wasn't wrong, just distorted."
I did understand his story now. I wonder just how much of my memories are distorted.
That night I dreamt about Vincenzo. He was a kid again and had hurt his leg. I felt pity for him because he was crying so I picked him up and ran back to our parents. When his dad asked him why he was playing in such a dangerous area, he just pointed at me. My dad was extremely upset and scolded me.
The next day, Vincenzo got to avoid all his school appointments because he hurt his leg, but I had to get the information for him, even though it wasn't my fault. That was one of the only times that Vincenzo genuinely smiled at me and made me feel something I might've mistaken for affection.
Tonight was the first night I realized my memory had betrayed me all this time. I thought he smiled because of me, but he was actively enjoying seeing me getting punished for things. And my realizations wouldn't stop for several days. When I fell asleep, I'd wake up soon after from the unpleasant dreams. My chest felt stuffy and my heart hurt with each beat.
I was quickly losing sleep over something like this. The dark circles had returned to my under eyes because of this new bout of insomnia.
"Isn't there a field trip coming up soon? Did you get your permission slip?" Dad asked me.
"Yeah, I've got it, but I'm not going," I told him.
"What? Why not? You get to hang out overnight with your new friend!" Things like this only made me nervous. Overnight away from home with Vincenzo in close proximity wasn't ideal to me. It's hard to breathe.
"Sign it or whatever, I just don't want to go."
"By the way, Enzo brought your moms old guitar over for you. You want it?"
"I don't want it," I told my dad while stealing a quick glance at the guitar case in the corner or the dining room. I instantly noticed it as Vincenzo's prized possession that helped him pick up girls.
Would it be wrong of me to break it into pieces?
"Danny, you look so tired these days. What's going on with you? What did you talk on the phone about with Nonna Marcella yesterday?"
"Oh yeah, she called. I don't remember what she said," I rubbed my temples. "Probably something about Giacomo, who cares? She's not my grandma."
"Dan!"
"Whatever you say now isn't going to make me start caring about what she said," I finally admitted. "I don't care and I don't really want to argue with you about this dad."
Dad didn't press my sudden lack of enthusiasm and let me leave for school with Ashton, who seemed just as worried about me. "Did you-"
"I made you lunch again," I told him before he could ask if I slept again. Obviously I didn't sleep, I haven't slept for a full night since Ashton held me and I cried on him.
"Thank you, I got you some melatonin. I think these will help you get a full eight hours or something close," Ashton showed me a bottle from the CVS.
"You didn't have too."
"I'm worried about you, just make sure you take them when I drop you off home after school. You won't tell me exactly why you're going back to how you were after a good week, but I want to at least help with what I can." Ashton told me. Why couldn't more people be lovable giants like him?
Maybe I'll feel better if I got rid of Vincenzo for good. When we reached our classroom, I was knocked back by one of Martins people's. Ashton caught me before I hit the ground and Martins people just glared at me.
"Aren't you going to apologize?" They asked me.
"Why should I? You bumped into me," I stated. It finally starts, my being ignored is officially over.
The guy started to laugh in my face. "Ha! Vinny, come check this little shit out! He grew a pair last night! What'd you say to me?"
"You bumped me first, why should I apologize?" I stood up and glared back at him. Whether it's Vincenzo or the people he enables, I just wanted to get hit so they can get in trouble.
"You want to get hit?"
"What are you doing?" Ashton snapped at him. The guy immediately stopped cocking his fist back. "You bumped into him! Why are you acting like a jackass to impress people? Stop picking fights with him!"
"Why are you suddenly on his side?"
"Never mind why, leave him alone and pick on someone closer to your size. Why don't you try it with me?" Ashton stepped in front of me and Martin's guy backed away immediately. "Pick on people your own size or drop it."
Ashton's intimidating size was a godsend. I almost really got hit by that guy. "Thank you," I said.
"No problem," Ashton ruffled my hair and we headed to our seats. Vincenzo and Martin seemed to be staring daggers at the two of us. I guess it made a lot of sense because, as of now, Ashton spent all his time with me instead of them.
Why can't everything just end right now. Some part of of me wanted to desperately put an end to Vincenzo once and for all.
Nothing about that guy will ever change. His friendships with less than reputable people, the report cards that I know he hides from his parents, his attitude toward his classmates and the football team he never joined. I should use everything I can, even if I have to make things up.
"Hey," a hand slammed down on my desk. I looked up to see a rage filled Vincenzo. "What're you? A bum or something?"
"Back off, Vinny," Ashton hissed at him.
"I let you off on a lot of things just so I wouldn't have to be an asshole, but then you go and get my debit card canceled and you take my guitar. When did I say you can take that? The more I think about it, the more I see you're a real piece of work!"
"If you have a problem with the guitar being given to me, take it up with your parents," I rolled my eyes. "Your dad is the one who handed it over."
"Why would my dad have a say in what happens to my things? Oh, lemme guess! You're going to tell me it was your mother's guitar to begin with, or you hate me so much now so you're going to take it back?"
Shit, why'd he mention that? "That's not the reason."
"Ok then let me ask you one thing! You've obviously been so rebellious because you want to get me in trouble, so why haven't you yet? And thinking about it, there's also the football team, are you planning on telling them everything at once?" Vincenzo tried. "I guess I'm dead if they find it all out, and my Nonna will be so impressed that she might just give you a reward! You'll have more money than me won't you?"
"No. I don't want to be involved with someone like you at all from now on. Please stop talking to me and leave me alone," I said matter of factly.
"Because of you-"
"But you brought all of that shit on yourself. You're being punished so your dad cancelled your card. You didn't join the team, so you're just afraid of what your parents will do," I added. "There's no one to blame but you for fucking yourself over."
"But you-"
"What did I ever do wrong to you?" I asked. Vincenzo's chest puffed up as I could tell he was searching for one thing I did. But as the seconds passed I could tell that he had nothing on me, because in reality, I was the one keeping him out of trouble. "I tried to help you get out of it and you fucked up my face! I'm done with covering for you and I'd hate to get involved with someone like you again. Now, leave me alone."
Vincenzo went from angry to just purely shocked. He was going to be desperate because everything he did wrong is closing in on him. "I'm going to let you reconsider-"
"Vinny, he clearly doesn't want to help you anymore. Why are you making it a big deal?" Ashton jumped in. "Leave him alone and don't force him."
"Why do you keep taking up for this fucking guy! It's not worth it if he'll just be dead in a week!" Vincenzo snapped loudly gaining everyone's attention. "Is that it? You're doing a good deed for someone before they finally kick the bucket?!"
"What the fuck is your problem?!" Ashton stood up so he was eye to eye with Vincenzo.
"What's your fucking problem? Don't tell me you've started liking this skeleton, you fag!" Vincenzo snapped.
"Who're you calling a fag?!" Ashton suddenly looked dead serious.
"You! I get it now! You've got the hots for the hospice boy! You're fucking disgusting! I knew you were when I saw you kissing that guy back in middle school."
"Big deal! I'm gay! If you've got a problem with my sexuality, then do something about it. I dare you to try me," Ashton face got dark and he started to crack his knuckles. The warning was directed at Vincenzo but was clearly for everyone who was listening. "If you're not going to do anything about it, then go sit down and stop making a scene."
Vincenzo and Ashton stared each other down menacingly until Vincenzo broke eye contact first to go back to his seat.
"He just outed you, are you ok?" I asked Ashton who went back to sitting.
"Yeah, I told you before that it wasn't a secret. If anyone has a problem with it, I dare them to do something about it," Ashton smiled. "Besides it's not like anyone really can do anything about my sexuality if they tried."
Ashton was exactly right. No one can do anything to him. After that day, I could practically feel through my skin that everyone was staring at me, especially Martin. I have to deal with seeing Vincenzo's face in class and Martins everywhere else.
I hate it, it's hell, just pure hell being this stressed out again.
"Something smells really nice," I pointed out during lunch break. Due to my paranoia about Martin, I started to have lunch in the counselors office. Since Vincenzo publicly went against me so aggressively, it was only a matter of time before I'm attacked by Martin again.
I just couldn't get over my dreadful Deja vu.
"This is an orange jasmine, not really a jasmine, but it's called that because it's fragrant."
"How do you know?"
"My mom makes me garden with her, so I know a lot about plants."
"It's not because you're gay?" I joked.
Ashton chuckled at my joke. Hopefully it didn't bother him. "No, you dummy! She makes me remember because of her work."
"I always feel like it smells so nice here. I'm not sure exactly where I remembered it from but by it's nice and calming."
"Is that why we've been coming here every break?" Ashton asked.
"I just don't want to stay in the classroom," I lied not wanting to worry him.
"Why don't you ever speak to the counselor then? Are you afraid of him or something?"
"No, it's because...." Because he wouldn't be able to help me with this. Even if the counselor was really good and highly recommended, even if he could help me cope with Vincenzo's existence, there was still Martin beating me up being a reality.
I thought it was just paranoia that day, even when I heard his voice behind me five times on my way home from school. I just kept telling myself that I was imagining it. But at a certain moment, it registered that this was my trauma triggering me."
Lately he's been hanging around the classroom when my classes end. I don't want to run into him, especially if Ashton wasn't around since we weren't in all of the same classes.
"Danny, can you follow me to the office?" The same teacher from a few weeks ago called out to me.
"I'll wait for you here," Ashton assured me. I nodded and followed the teacher about two hallways down into the office.
"I'll just get straight to the point. Remember when we talked about Vincenzo earlier this year? I called Vincenzo in later and he told me that his parents said that he won't be joining the football team. However when I spoke to his parents, they didn't seem to know anything about it," he rubbed his eyes in frustration. "If what I think is going on is actually going on, I'll have to call his parents. Do you know anything about this?"
Here was my chance to really fuck him over. "Can I use the bathroom before you call his parents?" I asked. The teacher waved me off and I quickly hurried next door to the bathroom to wash my face.
I could've just said it was none of my business. But I couldn't even say that? I just postponed Vincenzo's punishment unconsciously. Are you crazy, Danny? What business is it of mine if he calls Vincenzo's parents? Why'd you ask for a break?
What do I do? I said I wouldn't get involved, but this is a huge deal! Vincenzo had been lying to his parents about the money he was getting for attending football practices. Who knows how they'll react?
Vincenzo, as much as I hate you, good luck.
"I finally got you," I heard someone say from behind me. I lifted my head from the sink to see a smirking Martin in the mirror standing behind me. "So you're finally alone, faggot?"
"Long time no see, why the hell do you want?" I asked as rudely as I could. I don't know for certain that he'll hit me, right? He won't do it again just because, right?
"I don't see any other fags here besides you," Martin said.
"Martin-"
"So you do remember me? Even after I beat the shit out of you?"
"What? Wh-why would you say that...? I-I am-"
"You're still the same whiney faggot you've always been, so nosy," Martin rammed his fist into my stomach and almost immediately the contents of it spilled onto the floor with me close behind. "Disgusting. You always got on my damn nerves. I mean I had to watch your faggot ass follow Vinny around for years with that disgusting look in your eyes. I just didn't do anything about it because of him. How could he have put up with someone like you?"
"If you hit me again, I'll report you," I cried desperately. I expected this to happen soon, but I wasn't ready for it at all. I'm scared!
"You'll be dead before you can, but if you survive and you do, I'll make your life hell. The worst that'll happen to me is just a suspension, but you want to see what happens after everyone finds out you're gay? Everyone will believe it if it's about you. Now that I think about it, torturing you sounds fun! Report me!" Martin laughed. I'm really scared! I can't move and it's getting harder to breathe through the pain. "Why won't you answer me? You can't do shit but you're threatening me?"
A foot struck me across the face and my side. "STOP IT!" I begged between hits.
"You piece of shit! Stop pretending!" Martin rained down punches as I tried but failed to block my face and body. "You must think you're fucking untouchable because of Vinny!"
"I was disgusted too!" I screamed surprisingly landing a feeble hit on Martins chest.
"Did you just touch me?" Martin suddenly looked crazed. "Im going to kill you! You're definitely going to die today!"
I'm scared! I'm scared as fuck! I'm scared!
Martin cocked his fist back to hit me again and I closed my eyes, but the blow never came. I slowly looked up to see Ashton standing where Martin was and Martin on the floor.
"What the fuck? Why'd you hit me? You have no reason too," Martin snapped.
"No reason?"
"You should be thanking me for getting rid of that eye sore!"
"Don't touch him again!" Ashton picked Martin up by his collar. "If you do anything stupid like this again, I'll rip you apart, Martin!"
"So it's true! You guys are together!" Martin exclaimed.
"Shut up!" Ashton slammed Martin onto the ground as hard as he could to get his point across. He then turned to me and kneeled down beside me. "Are you ok? Where does it hurt, Dan?"
I sobbed harder in relief that he was there to help me. "Th-the teacher....and....then he...." I tried but my mouth wouldn't form anymore words. Ashton picked me up and ran from the bathroom as quickly as he possibly could.
I now realized that my nose had blood pouring out of it and I couldn't really breathe very well. It hurt to even try to breathe. My face hurt, my other eye was swelling shut and everything just felt broken. Everything hurt so fucking much!
"I'm taking Danny to the nurse!" I heard Ashton yell into the teachers office before taking off. I guess regardless of what, I was too weak to handle any of this on my own. In a way, I was doomed to fail from the start. So from now on, I should stop taking revenge on Vincenzo, because it would be the death of me.
It would be a pathetic death that everyone would celebrate. No one would care that I died, they'd all think I had it coming! They'd celebrate every anniversary of my death.! Vincenzo would probably praise Martin for succeeding in getting rid of his problem. I'm going to die sad and lonely and be forgotten! Everyone would feel that I just deserved it! I only feel bad for my dad, who will be sad for a while but at least he won't have as many financial problems.
I could feel my consciousness fading. "I don't want to die, I'm scared Ashton! I don't want to die yet!" It hurt to cry but I cried. "I don't want to die here because of them! Please don't let me die!"
"I won't let you die, ok! Danny! Open your eyes! DANNY!!!" I heard him yelling at me.