Chapter 11: Retrieving the Dragonstone (1) — Ver. 2.0

A rat jumps out from the shadows and snaps at my face. I swing at it with my axe. It gets chopped in half. Another jumps out from the shadows, but gets shot by Jenassa. A third squeals loudly as it jumps at us, but Uthgerd throws her dagger and pierces it directly into the wall. Hadvar walks around the staircase, before dropping the torch. A rat from below has jumped up and bit his arm.

"Shor's bones!" Faendal yells out, almost in fear. I look down and see why.

As the torch falls, tens to dozens of skeevers below us, all clamoring around a large, rotten corpse, scatter apart when the torch falls onto them. The corpse quickly burns, with the disgusting stench of burning shit. Once the corpse lights up, the skeevers explode away from it, running, scampering all around, in an attempt to escape. Lots of them try to come up the stairs, but I cast Flames in a high temperature, long-range, wide-spread torrent, reminiscent of a funnel.

My Flames stop the skeevers with lethal force, but it creates another problem. The old, dilapidated stairs quickly catch fire and burn up. Our only way down is now destroyed by my attempt to remove a greater threat.

"I don't know whether to say that was incredible or horrible." Faendal says, a look of abject terror on his face.

"Ah, shite. Well, now you've gone and done it." Hadvar says.

"Eh. We coulda handled them." Uthgerd says, confident in our collective battle prowess. Bror nods, in concurrence to Uthgerd's statement.

It seems Jenassa agrees with them, when she says, "That was not a wise decision."

"Look at how easily those stairs went up in flames. You guys really think that they would've held us up? I don't. Besides, we still have the rope from earlier." I defend my actions. They may have seemed inane at the moment, but a lot of things I do are carefully thought out.

Hadvar sighs, pulling out the rope I gave him and Faendal earlier, and ties it around a stone pillar with an empty brazier on it.

I check if it could hold my weight, before sliding down the rope, Uthgerd, Jenassa, Faendal, Bror, and Hadvar following after. I pick up Hadvar's torch when I reach the bottom. When Uthgerd comes down, she rips her dagger out from the wall, along with the corpse of the skeever. She's *damn* strong, but it's weird... Why wasn't she this strong when she fought me? Probably a lingering effect from the game, like I thought earlier.

We keep moving, continuing down the rest of the stairs, into an ancient tunnel with unlit braziers on the sides of the entrance and a low-hanging, fog-like appearance.

I light the braziers as we go through it, and we head to the opposite end. When we reach the other end, there's another wooden stairway leading back up, but only about to half as much as we lost when we went down the rope.

We climb up the stairs, and as we traverse to the next hallway, we run into more and more spiderwebs. I finally just hand off the torch to Uthgerd and blast Flames to clear the hallway. The Flames burn the thick spiderwebs away like water washing away cotton candy.

"Uhh... Drake? I'm thinking you should maybe stop that." Uthgerd said. And just like foreshadowing in some kinda novel, she was right.

The Flames start working too well. The burning Flames quickly reveal that structure is so old, and the spiderwebs have been there for so long, that the spiderweb is just about the one thing holding the Barrow together on the inside, which is made clear by rumbling, and dust falling from the ceiling.

I stop burning away the webs and start cutting them out of our way, using my new orcish sword. We eventually get to a small room. Natural lighting peeks through, along with the growth of a small fern. The warmth of this underground, the lighting, and melting ice from the hole must be what's allowing a plant to grow here. On the other side of the room is a doorway.

There's an half-crushed table in this room, with a rolled up parchment, and a minor potion of healing. At the top of the scroll in fancy writing are the words, Scroll of Fireball. Various shapes and runic letters on it glowing a fiery orange convinced me it was real. The paragraph at the bottom tells the reader, (me) how to use it, and what to say when I'm intending to.

"Is someone coming? Is that you, Harknir? Bjorn? Soling? Anyone?" The voice of the thief, Arvel the Swift, made me look up.

Bror laughs a gristly chuckle. "Ehehehe... There you are, you rat bastard."

Bror responding like that made Hadvar look to him, before walking out there with Uthgerd, Faendal, and Bror upon hearing his voice.

"This must be the dark elf those bandits from earlier were talking about." Hadvar says.

Hadvar's statement made me jump out from the room, yelling,"NO, WAIT!" Jenassa looks at me in suspicion before running out there as well. Alas, I was too late in stopping them. "No! Not again!" Arvel whimpers out in fear.

A giant white and black frostbite spider crawls out from a hole in the ceiling, causing dust and pebbles to rain on us. And when I say giant, I mean the size of a car, giant. It's fucking huge. When Bror sees it, even he says, "We gotta foight that bitch? Shor's bones!" before sighing, and saying, "Roight. Let's get to it, then."

As it drops to the floor, it spits out a big glob of venom at Uthgerd. She rolls out of the way, swinging her massive great sword off of her back. She hasn't gotten the chance to use that since the run-in at the inn, where I met her. I use that second to read the scroll.

"Ego te ad finem per Magnam potentiam incendam!" As I yell it out, the parchment burns away and the magic from the scroll crumples itself up, lights into flames, and implodes into a ball of holy judgement, (i.e. fire), in my hand.

"Get away from the spider!" I yell. Everyone dives away from the spider, or at least attempts to, before I chuck it at the damn thing. Pushing the Magicka of the spell away felt like pushing a magnet against another magnet, soft and almost fuzzy on the outside but when you do it you have to force it, but also strangely like clenching your jaw without touching your upper jaw. Those experiences combined, along with the fact that it was through my hand, makes it really hard to describe. That's just the best I've got.

Anyways, I cast it, and the blast from the fireball makes a very hot shockwave combined with a loud explosion reverberate throughout the air. Switching to Flames with both hands, I start lighting the spider up, and while I do, out of the corner of my eye I can see Jenassa helping Uthgerd up, who wasn't fast enough to dive to the ground. Uthgerd jumps immediately into combat, alongside Hadvar, who pulls out his sword, and Bror, with a dagger. Where he got the dagger from, I don't know. He probably got it from the one bandit at the trapped room. Jenassa melds into the background with her bow readied, while Faendal jumps near a wall, his bow out as well. Arrows fly out from behind my back and over .y shoulder, as I continue blasting it with Flames.

The spider isn't handling my Flames very well, while it deals with a more meaningful problem, that being Uthgerd. It's body is heavily charred, with it barely alive now.

I run out of Magicka, so I switch to my axe, and start slashing my axe into it's legs, chopping them off one by one. 8, 7, 6 legs remaining. Hadvar's taken the spider's aggro, holding it off with his shield. 5, 4, 3.

Uthgerd appears next to me, and slams her greatsword into the spider and nearly chops it in half with that one swing. 2, and 1 leg left. *Chop*. No more legs for the spider.

Hold up just one goddamn fucking minute! What was the point of me buying her a new sword and shield, or whatever, if she's not going to use them?!

What little stubs of the giant spider's legs wriggle about, and as Hadvar stabs his sword into it's head, it's definitely dead now. It stops twitching, and it's fangs fall still. This doesn't faze nor stop Bror as he starts kicking it's limp head, saying, "That's! Right! You! fucking! Arachnid!" Finishing that last statement, the head of the spider flies off, smacking the wall with a wet *ckck* and it proceeds to slide down the wall.

When the rest of our group looks at him confused, like he's got a personal problem with the spider, the only response he gives is, "Sorry. I, uh, I got a bit carried away. People sometimes tell me I've got anger management issues."

He looks away, and hugs himself a bit, before seeing Arvel's face, then smiling at him, grimly. Arvel's face only grows in terror from the point Bror said he's got anger management issues, to the point he realized that he's fucked with Bror one too many times, and now he can't escape. The next thought that floats his way, is that Bror is the one holding the dagger. Bror takes a single step forward, and that's enough to make Arvel literally piss himself in fear. The sound of leaking fluid attracts everyone's attention to him, embarrassing him. Not that it could get much more embarrassing for anyone else here. Just about everyone's faces blushes, except Uthgerd's, who laughs loudly, saying, "What a coward! Ahahahaha!"

Arvel looks at us, especially Bror, in a combination of horrific confusion, fear, and embarrassment, before wiggling around and trying to run away. With the amount of webbing he's in, he's not gonna escape, so the look on Bror's face changes again to a leering smile, before Hadvar whacks him on the back of the head. Jenassa and Faendal go to the corpse to retrieve their arrows.

"Sweet breath of Arkay, you did it! You killed that thing! Now, cut me down before anything else shows up!" Arvel cries out, still wiggling around. "Why did I say that?" His face locks onto a confused, and he turns his head.

"And why should we do that? And where's the golden claw?" I stop Uthgerd, Hadvar, and Bror before they can do anything. Our archers are still retrieving their arrows, so these Uthgerd and Hadvar, with their strong sense of justice, are the ones I've got to keep an eye on right now. If anyone lets him loose, he's just gonna run away. On the other hand, if Bror gets to him first, he's gonna kill him. That's not guaranteed, but it is highly likely.

Well, I can't say much. I'm gonna kill him too, but I don't wanna have to go far. Arvel the Swift is called, 'The Swift', for a reason. Reason being, he's a shit thief, but he runs away quickly enough that he earned the name.

"Yes, the claw. I know how it works. The claw, the markings, the door in the Hall of Stories. I know how they all fit together! Help me down, and I'll show you. You won't believe the power the Nords have hidden there." Arvel spouts some NPC-ass bullshit again. I don't know if he actually knows, or if he doesn't, because he dies on the way over there. Fuck it, I don't want to chase him. He'll die anyways. Let's not waste the energy.

"Really. Is that the case. Hand over the claw, first. " I ask dryly. I know they fit together, too.

"Does it look like I can move? You have to cut me down, first." Arvel continues, before saying again, "Why am I saying this shit? I don't wanna tell you."

"You do realize you are still both a thief and a bandit, right?" I ask him, checking if my Magicka's regenerated yet. It has.

"W-well, yes. B-but so's he." Arvel points with a finger he wiggled free towards Bror.

"See the difference between me and you, is that YE KILLED ME FUCKIN' DOG!" Bror vents loudly, before continuing in a calm tone. "Also, I joined up with them."

"T-that's a fair point, but c'mon man, I wasn't the one holding the knife. That was Bjorn, remember?" Arvel tried to keep Bror calm, but he clearly is an idiot. He looks over to me. "H-hey, you're gonna cut me down, right?"

"Yeah... Bror?" I call out to him.

"Mmm, Yeah?"

"Cut him down."

"Gladly." Bror smiles grimly, licking his frostbite spider-blood-covered dagger.

"Ooh, that's good." Bror's face perks up at the apparent flavoring.

Arvel whimpers.

"This is actually quite nice..." Bror continues to kick his dagger. "It numbth (numbs) my thongue (tongue), and thasthes (tastes) a little minthy (minty), like thome kind of pepper combined with a minth (mint). I wonder, if I eat thith with a thpithy (spicy) pepper, will it canthel (cancel) outh? Eh... Anywayth..." He takes a few more menacing steps towards Arvel, who whimpers even more. He teases his dagger at the edge of Arvel's throat, dancing it at the edge of his skin barrier drawing a miniscule amount of blood.

"The non-lethal kind." I quickly put in.

Bror sighs, then starts hacking away at Arvel's sides. Jenassa and Faendal have recovered their arrows, and are currently sitting around, waiting for us to finish up. Hadvar broods in the corner, like some kind of medieval Batman. Uthgerd has somehow found a butterfly, and is playing with it. I'm more surprised by the fact that the butterfly made it in here in the first place, what with all the spiderwebs.

"Haa, haha. It's coming loose, I can feel it." Arvel says. A smile breaks out on his face, but the stench of his piss makes it's way back around the room from a breeze near one of the walls, forcing everyone to cover their noses (discluding Arvel), breaking it.

Arvel eventually falls on his face into his own piss, when Bror finishes. Bror cuts him free, then as he gets up, he starts to run away, saying with a cunning voice and a glee to rival the movie, "Did you really think I'd share the tre-".

He didn't get to finish his statement. I throw my axe into his back as he was running away. He fell a second time, never to get up again. His weak hide armor couldn't provide even a little bit of protection from my steel war axe.

"Nope." I said. "I was expecting you to run away."

Uthgerd and Hadvar were about to yell at me, asking why'd I do that, etc. It was clearly etched on the frowns on their faces. But when they thought back to his words, the only possible word that could have fit would be treasure, meaning he'd have betrayed us, anyways, despite our kindness.

"What an idiot. He could've at least attempted to join us."

I search Arvel's body, finding the claw, his journal, a small sack of 15 gold, an iron dagger, and a small sapphire, besides his full suit of piss-covered hide armor.

Putting his treasure into my backpack and leaving the piss-covered gear on him, we move on. Going through the doorway Arvel was strung up in, we found a small antechamber where the bodies of ancient Nordic people were prepared. There were dozens of ancient gold pieces around, and we took them all, gaining us a net gain of 64 ancient gold coins. We also found a Minor Potion of Magicka, which I took, as I was the only capable of using magic.

We continued from the antechamber into a main burial center, which turns to our right. I ready my axe and prepare to cast Flames. Jenassa nocks an arrow on her bow, and Uthgerd has her greatsword out.

Various braziers are lit throughout the room, some are hanging, others are on pedestals, others are set next to doorways.

"If no one's been here since the ancient Nords, how're these lit?" asks Faendal, a little fearfully.

I suggest an answer, to dispel the fear as quickly as possible. Fear breeds weakness.

"Let's be positive. He's called Arvel the Swift, isn't he? He said he knows how the "claw, the wall, the puzzle" all fit together, or something like that, didn't he? He had to have made it to the end to figure it out."

Jenassa harrumphs at the thought.

The braziers provide a heat that fixes the dusty, breezy air in the catacombs.

Corpses lined the walls in their own separate niches, one above another, stopping past about three meters. The corpses in the lowest niches were the only ones even remotely capable of being draugr.

I see several corpses with their arms crossed, and I point them out to the group. I start sneaking over to the first one I think could be a draugr, but before I even make it within five feet of the corpse, it swings its legs out and stands up. It exhales a dusty breath, and its eyes glow blue. It's grey skin was looking pretty flammable, so I started spraying a high intensity, low spread, medium range spray of Flames at it. Seven other draugr stand up from other niches.

"How'd you like that?" I say as I spray it with Flames. It raises its ancient Nord war axe and tries swinging it at me, before falling over from taking too much fire damage. It's skin has finally caught fire, burning it from the inside out, and I stop spraying Flames at it. I chop at its head with my axe, and once I split it's dusty skull, the literal light from its eyes disappeared.

I check to see how the others are doing, and I see Uthgerd having some trouble with a draugr. Jenassa and Faendal are providing cover in the form a arrows blasting through draugr skulls. I run over to Uthgerd, yelling, "Uthgerd, DUCK!"

She drops to the ground and I throw my axe at the draugr. I don't get what I was hoping for, as it ricochets off it's pauldron, but I grab it's attention. It starts walking towards me.

"Shit! I'm casting Flames!" I curse and start spraying.

"'kay!" Uthgerd stays low and crawls up behind it, before standing up again. I stop casting Flames because I don't want to hit her, and pull out my sword.

Uthgerd slices it's legs out from behind, spins around it to face it's front, and once it's on the ground, stabs it through it's chest from above and kills it. Uthgerd looks damn powerful as she does it. It makes me remember what some kids at my old school used to say when they saw a girl do something independent, unique, or cool. 'Slayy, Queeeen!' in a high falsetto.

This time, yes. This is the only time I should be hearing those words. When a queen of arms and armor is literally slaying a beast, be it undead or otherwise. This is the acceptable time to say, "Slayy, queeeen!". Any other time pales in comparison, and the value of the words themselves are wasted.

Jenassa, shooting at a couple draugr, calls for help.

"These two aren't going down! Could use some help!"

I put my sword away, run forward, pick up my axe and ready my shield. I run over to the closest one to her, and chop at it's head. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that Uthgerd was heading over to the other one. The arrows in the one I was focused on almost get in the way, stabbing me by their nocks, as I swing my axe into the draugr's stomach.

It blocks my attack with its shield, and swings at my cuirass with its sword. I let the hit be taken, the armor on my chest is covered in steel and has leather padding all over the inside. All it's going to leave me is a bruise. Or so I thought. My armor gets severely dented, the bone cracks, and I writhe out in pain. I think the draugr broke one of my ribs, or maybe a couple. My armor activates as the draugr pulls his sword back and prepares to swing again.

After tanking the hit, I raise my shield, back up a couple steps, and ram into the draugr. I slam it into the wall. It doesn't have a lot of flesh left, as most of it has rotted away already, but what's left dryly splatters into my face as it gets crushed between my shield and the wall. It's ribcage splinters like a block of dry wood. The eyes fade to black.

I feel blood dripping down my face. A bone splinter seems to have gotten caught in my cheek. I try picking it out, but it won't come out, so I go to assist Uthgerd with hers.

She swings her greatsword around her head, and chops into the shoulder of a draugr, grunting as she does so. I skid my way behind the draugr and chop into it's neck. An arrow flies and lands between it's eyes, killing it.

It was Faendal's. Hadvar, the beast that he is, handles the last two with Bror's help. He slaughters the last one, and it falls back into the endless sleep.

We take a breath, and calm ourselves down. Jenassa retrieves her arrows from the bodies of the draugr. I sit down and take care of my axe, like Ulfberth had taught me.

After cleaning, sharpening, and oiling my axe, I put it in it's sheath. Now, I take out my sword and do the same. Ulfberth didn't show me, but I think I've figured out how to sharpen it. Since it's serrated, each curve of the blade is like a separate blade in itself, so when I clean it, I wipe along each individual curve, then sharpen it, and finally oil it, moving further up the blade as I do it. When I finally finish, I slide into it's sheath as well.

"Thanks for the help there." Jenassa says to us. "Any later and I might have been draugr flesh."

"Sorry I couldn't have been there sooner, it got a bit... uh... choppy there for a moment." I smile and gesture towards the dent in my armor. Silence ensued... I'd have heard cricket chirps if we weren't in a barrow on a mountain.

"T-tough crowd, huh? That was a bad pun. I'm sorry you had to hear that." I apologize and put my head down. I start picking at the splinter in my cheek.

"...oh...Th-that was supposed to be a *joke*. I apologize." Jenassa says, then she starts to fake laugh.

Hadvar puts his head in his hands, groans, and says, "Akatosh, help me."

'No, Akatosh. I need your help more than Hadvar right now. Arrggghhhh, it hurts...' Emotionally, that is.

That pretending to laugh hurt even more than getting chopped in the side with a sword. I should know, I just made a joke about it. I wince. Jenassa's fake laughing fades away.

"Some advice, friend. You are a good leader, and a fine warrior, but I do NOT recommend becoming a comedian." Uthgerd just cold stares at me as she says that.

"Yea... I fear your lead tongue more'n that draugr's steel axe." Bror quickly says. That gets them chuckling, which only spikes the pain. I wince further.

"Yeah... I think I'm just gonna - just gonna go over there and Heal myself." I point to a corner, and sit down. I put my head down. 'Damn. I'm not funny in either life.' I pick at my splinter, before Jenassa comes over to me, squats in front of me, and starts speaking.

"I know we don't know each other very well, but you're terrible at jokes. And you've only made one so far. That is... to say the least, difficult."

"... That's... not very helpful." I stop her, raising my hand.

"I'm not finished, yet. Like Uthgerd said, you are a good leader, and you are a better warrior. You've more than proven that to us, since the bandits at the top. That was a smart move you did, bringing Bror to our side, despite his... aggression. Now, you may not be good at jokes, but that doesn't mean you should restrict yourself from trying to become better at making them. After all, if you try a thousand times, and succeed only once, that still means you've succeeded, right? You may have fallen down, but it's the amount of times you get back up that matters." She continues, smiling a little. The gleam in her eyes make it obvious that she really tried to act like the joke was funny, and that makes me feel a little better.

I'm quiet for a minute or two, sorting out my thoughts and feelings. "Well, thanks, I guess. Thanks for at least trying to make me feel better." I didn't think I sucked that much at jokes, but if I'm not funny even in two lives... 'Damn.'

I stand up, and Jenassa follows.

"Wait just a second. Here," Jenassa says. She moves her face much closer. My cheeks and ears start to burn as she picks at my face. She reaches out for my splinter.

I can't help but to look at her lips as she does it. A light rosy pink in color, despite her grey skin. Her lips are also slightly chapped. It makes sense, as I imagine lip balms and such don't exist here. She plucks out the splinter with her nail.

"Now Heal yourself. If you have a splinter in there when you do it, it might ruin your face. Can't have that happening." She smiles seductively, resting her hand on my cuirass, reminding me of my broken rib.

I cast Healing as she's standing there in front of me, warming up the air between us, and speed up the rate at which both my broken rib and my cheek heal.

"You done playing kissy-face over there, lovebirds?" Uthgerd says, mockingly. She's smirking with arms crossed, leaning against the wall. From her point of view, I suppose it probably did look like we were kissing.

Jenassa and I jump apart after she says that. We both turn red and look away from each other.

"There- There was a splinter." Jenassa stammers out.

"Hehehe... Sure. I believe ya." Bror snickers out and says.

"L-let's just search the corpses," I suggest, drawing attention away.

"Too late, me 'n Faen'al already go' it, while ya two were kissing er what have ya."

Bror brings a sack of goods over to the rest of us, having found 60 more ancient coins, and several small potion bottles with a red liquid inside them, unlike any we've seen before. We also collect the several ancient Nord weapons. A war axe, four swords, a greatsword, and a bow, along with a set of 34 ancient arrows.

"Let's not drink out of those potions unless we have to," I suggest, before asking, "Speaking of, anyone else need Healing?"

Hadvar and Faendal raise their hands. Apparently Hadvar took a hit to the thigh, and Faendal was shot in the chest. As ancient as the arrow was, it didn't really impale him so much as it did explode when it hit his chest. After Healing them we move on.

We're all in agreement, so we're about to move forward, but then I spot a pressure plate to a trap that they're about to walk onto.

"Wait! Trap!" I call out to them. They stop, and look around until they see the large spiked-wall trap poking around a corner. I point at their feet, which are directly in front a large, raised, roughly circular stone on the ground. It's not exactly obvious but there's a dark line where the dust has fallen through around it.

I guide them around the trap, where we find another burial chamber. This one only has two draugr in it, but one of them is stronger than expected.

"There's a magic draugr here!" Calls Uthgerd. "Get it, Drake!"

"I'm no dog! But I got it." I respond.

It's aCkTsHually a restless draugr, a type of draugr that retains a little mental capacity and can cast magic. The blue glow and snowflakes floating in it's hand tells me it's going to cast Frostbite, the bread and butter of all restless draugr. I take control of dealing with it. Lanzádor mágico a lanzádor mágico. Magic caster to magic caster.

It attempts to spray Frostbite at me, but I blast Sparks at it. A certain property of magical Sparks is that it drains the victims' Magicka as it electrocutes them. It's more of a passive effect of the Sparks themselves, so you don't have to actively change anything with the spell to cause it.

This property leads me to believe that the reason magic is possible in this world is because it has some relation to brain chemistry and the electricity in a person's body. I don't know exactly how they're connected, but that's just what I figure, having an understanding of biology.

Speaking of biology, the skeleton of the restless draugr becomes visible as it gets electrocuted and soon bursts into flames. Man, I love Sparks.

The spell in it's hand flashes brightly as it spazzes out before falling backwards. As the restless draugr falls, Frostbite sprays the walls and ceiling in a beam of directed magical flurry.

After shocking it with my magical display (literally), I whip my axe out and split it's skull open. The glow disappears, and I put my axe away.

"You know Sparks, now, too?" Jenassa asks me, surprised. Hadvar and Uthgerd have tag-teamed the other draugr and killed it by now.

"I learned it last night. I might not be funny, but I'm pretty fuckin' smart, aren't I?" I put my fists to my waist, and stand up straight.

"Putting aside the inadequacy of your jokes, your arrogance is not misplaced. Learning a spell in one day is definitely impressive." Jenassa says, impressed. "But I'm sure at the Mages' College there are more than enough of Mages who learn a multitude of spells in a single day."

"Tch. Thanks for killing my ego before it could even grow." I grumble.

"You're welcome." Jenassa says, happily.

'At least let me feel *some* pride in myself.'

"There's that word you used again... 'Fuckin'? What's it mean?" Bror asks, curious.

"Might wanna sit down for this. We're gonna be here for a bit." I say, sitting against the wall.

"Fucking?" I echo, rubbing my chin. "The word 'fucking'... It means a lot of things. There are different styles of the word that can be used in different situations. There's fuck, fucking, and fuckin'."

I continue. "Let's see... When someone messes with you, like they're pulling a prank on you, lying to you, or pulling your leg, or some shit, then you'd say, 'Are you fuckin' kidding me?' You could also say, 'You've gotta be fuckin' with me.' Fuckin' and fucking are mostly interchangeable, but there's a few situations where fucking is better than fuckin' or vice versa. Then there're phrases, like 'Go fuck yourself', and 'Fuck me!'" That last one I enunciate like a pornstar.

I evilly smile to myself as I think about what I'm gonna do next. "As you may notice, that last one sounded something like you'd hear when you're being strained, physically, mentally, or emotionally. You'd use it then."

"When someone pisses you off, and you can't do anything about it, you might say, 'Fuck! You!', 'Fuck! Me!' in a fit of rage, or describe how you're going to violently dismember them and shove said dismembered bits up places that don't see the light of day before screaming 'Fuck you!'."

"Then there's phrases like, 'Fuck yeah!' which used in happy moments, like when you win a competition or contest, and 'Fuck no!' which is used to emphasize your displeasure to an idea, thought or decision. Then there's 'Fuck yes!' which is used during sex, and 'Fuck, shit.' which is used when you see someone or something you didn't want to, like your grandmother having sex. Alternatively, in place of 'Fuck, shit,' there's 'Ah, fuck.' which you can use similarly."

"Then there's 'Fuck him/her/them!' when you're talking about someone you hate. There's 'Fuck it,' which you use when you're going to make a decision that could end up going either well, horribly, or somewhere unexpected."

"There's, uh..., the questions. Right, the questions. When you wanna emphasize a question, you'll say, 'Who, what, where, when, why, and how the fuck did blank happen.' 'Who the fuck let you in, who the fuck are you?' 'What the fuck just happened/ What the fuck is happening,' You'd use either of those in confusing situations, 'Where the fuck did you come from' That one feels a little obvious, 'Where the fuck are we going?', 'When the fuck did this or that happen?' 'Why the fuck did you just...' You'd use that when you're trying to figure out why someone did something. Uh... What did I say, already...?"

I lost my place of where I was, trying to think back to what just happened.

Bror snaps his fingers, looking through his notes, ('he was fuckin' taking notes?') before saying, "Oh, uh, you w're at, 'Why the fuck did you just...?'"

"Right, thanks Bror. So anyways, who, what, where, why, how... Right, so there's how left. You'd use this one when someone or something you explicitly tell not get in somewhere, gets in somewhere. 'How the fuck did you get in here?'"

"Which brings to, 'Get the fuck outta here.'" When I say that, Hadvar looks confused, and Uthgerd even stands up to leave. "No, stop. Sit back down, Uthgerd. When you tell someone that, you're not actually telling them to exit the room. You're just saying that the information you just got is either really good, really bad, or really weird."

"You could also use it to... Express pain. When something hurts a shitton, like your arm got bit, or cut or something, you could just yell, 'Fuck!'. That's a clearcut way to show your pain. Oh! There's 'Fuck it/this,' which implies that you're done dealing with a situation and are going to stop it or fix it. It can also mean you resign yourself to the inevitability or finality of a situation, like there's absolutely nothing you can do to change it. It doubles as a way to say you don't care about a situation or problem anymore."

"Then there's 'Holy Fuck!', which is an expression of surprise or indignation. There's 'fuck' as an action, like you fucked someone, or fucked them over. The first one, in terms of fucking someone, means that you had sexual intercourse with that person, while the second means you gave them a problem that will occupy most of their time. You fuck people you like or love, and you fuck over people you dislike or hate."

"Which is where the phrase, 'Don't fuck me over,' comes into play. In that case, you're asking someone to not effectively ruin your day. Speaking of ruining people's days, you could also use the phrase 'fuck me' in reference to yourself, especially when you're frustrated or upset at yourself, like if you forget something that you need to do something else, like a key to unlock your house. After a long, hard day of work, you go home, only to find that you left your key at your workplace. That's the right time to say, 'Fuck me.'"

"And when you're at work, somebody'll eventually start goofing off, playing around. In that scenario, you'd tell 'em to stop fucking around."

"Is that the case?" Uthgerd asks. This is the first time she's shown an interest in my explanation about the use and uses of the word 'fuck'.

I smile, glad she's finally interested. "Yes, yes, it is."

"Oh, well then. Please, stop fucking around."

My face droops, alongside Bror's, who was my biggest supporter in all this so far. Jenassa nods, alongside Hadvar. Faendal got bored halfway through and was in the middle of searching the bodies.

"Did I... fuckin' use it wrong?" Uthgerd continues. Damn. Uthgerd spares no mercy for the weak.

"I- I- I'm not... I wasn't finished, but I suppose we should get back to work." I stammer out, telling Bror we could finish it later.

Faendal comes back, having searched the corpses and find 21 ancient gold coins this time. The normal draugr in this room carried an ancient Nord battleaxe, while the other had an ancient Nord sword.

We move on, and come up upon another room. As we approach we hear *schwingschwingschwing* sort of sound. The lighting from the lit braziers hanging inside shines flickering shadows over to us.

We look through the doorway and there are three giant swinging axes inside, on after another, separated by maybe a foot of open space. The doorway itself is extremely wide, around 15 feet across, but the axes are swinging at too fast a pace for us to walk through. The three axes are swinging one after another, in a  fast 123 pattern, instead of a slower, more spaced 1-2-3. After swinging to one side, they lock up there for about a second before swinging back down.

"Well, how do we get past this one?" Jenassa says, looking at me.

"Well. I figure I've got about 2-3 seconds to make it 6 feet with a bit of space to spare. If I sprint it, I can do it." I say.

"What? Look how fast they're swinging and size of the blades. You'll die." Jenassa says.

"Nah. I'll check if there's a lever or something on the other side." With that I drop my bag a couple feet off to the side and prepare to sprint across.

"If you die, I'm going to kill you," Jenassa continues. "How'm I supposed to get paid if you're dead?"

"You, my dear sir, are..." Bror says, looking at his notes. "Fucking crazy."

Hadvar agrees with the others. "Yeah, mate, you've survived a lot, but I don't think this one will cut it.

I back up a few steps, and stretch a little bit. I get into a sprinter's stance. I wait for the axes to swing to the left side, then as they come back down, I burst forward.

The axes lock in their positions at exact same time as I pass them. Except for the last one. It must have been slightly off from the other two, so instead of it going 123, it went 132, and the third came down right after the first, instead of after the second.

As it swings back down, it catches my right thigh. I'm thrown to the left. My vision turns black as I slam into the wall, then drop to the ground. My side is bleeding. I can feel it dripping out, soaking my legs.

"Drake!" Jenassa calls out to me. At least, I think it's Jenassa. My hearing has started to fade out, like the first time I died. I slowly try to get up. My head is shaking. I try to cast Healing but I can't. My magic sputters out before it even activates. Activates....?

My armor! Maybe my armor can save me! But there's a hole in my side... Too much blood is being loooooo..... I almost fall unconscious in that moment, but snap myself back. It doesn't hurt. Why doesn't it hurt? The blood. Is it my blood?

Someone slides something to me from the starting doorway. It bounces up, after hitting something on the ground. What is that? Is that a rock it hit? I can't tell, my vision's blurry. Too blurry. I open my eyes wider, trying to see what it is. It looks too big to be a rock. Too long.

Wait, why's it shiny? Is that armor on it? Is that a boot? Oh, no. No, no, no, nononononono..... I look back to my legs. No. My leg. That's what it is. It's my leg.

My leg is gone. My leg is gone. No, it's not gone. That'd be a lie. It's right in front of me. Just not... Connected.

I crawl to it. My hand barely reaches it, and I roll over, despite the throbbing in my side. If... Maybe if I reach it, I can reattach it. My head starts to fall. Maybe I caaaaaaaa———.....

Whoa... Whoa... Almost lost myself there for a second. My eyes almost went completely shut. I can't close my eyes. I'm so tired. I'm just.. so... tired.... NO!!! If I shut my eyes, I die. If I shut my eyes, I die. I can't shut my eyes.

I need to get to my leg, no, not my leg, I need to get to the thing. What was that small thing the person tried to get me? What was it? I think it's important. It must be. My leg is missing. If they think it's important enough for me to need over my leg... It *has* to be, right?

What's this loud banging noise I'm hearing? Thud-thud. Thud-thud. Thud-thud.

"I can feel it." I call out loudly, or at least, I think I do. What am I saying?  "My- myyy heeaart. It's pumping. Loudly. Thun-thun. Thun-thun. Thun-thun" I start giggling incoherently. "It sounds kinda funny. Wait, noooo, why's it getting quieter....? No, it sounded kinda nice, like a drum. Wait, why's my leg over there....? My leg? If that's my leg, why doesn't it hurt? Is it because it's over there? Issa 'your leg can't hurt, if iss not c-connecteddd, sor'a thin' riiight? Wait, who am I talking to? Why am I in a cave? How'd I get heeeerrreee...."

Wait, I was talking about my heartbeat, right? It's getting quieter. That's probably not good.

There it is. The thing they were talking about. Small. Red. A potion, like in a game? Why do I have a potion? It's-... I'm not in a game, or something, am I?

I giggle again. The sleepiness. It's coming back. It disappears easier, this time.

It's one of the tiny potions from the draugr. I held up to the light of the braziers. I thought it was a reddish color before, but in actuality, it was an reddish-orange amber sort of color.

"I~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ because it ~~~~~~That one's small enough~~~~~~~~. Drink the potion. ~~~~~~~ can't hear me!" Someone yells over to me from beyond somewhere. She said something else to someone, but I couldn't tell what it was.

While I look through the tiny glass vial something appears in front of me. A hallucination? Maybe. A fever dream? Probably. But I know what it is. It's a massive spinning coin, with pictures on either side. On one side was a shadowy silhouette over a crimson background, red dripping from a dagger the silhouette was holding. On the other, an emperor with a golden background sitting on a throne. On one side, a monster, no, an insane demon holding the world hostage. On the other, a beloved hero who saved the world from the greatest enemy ever known to it.

Then, a hand reaches out, a pale hand wearing a blood-red ruby reaches out and touches it. The second the hand touches the coin, it spins, spinning faster, and faster, and faster. It spins so quickly that the images mix, until there's not even a concept of the word "side" in it, until the coin stops spinning, and it falls over. On the side face up was an empty bowl. Then, a massive drop of black liquid drops from out of the sky onto it, filling it, splashing it out, and it covered the coin.

When the inky black liquid completely covers the coin, the entire world shifts, at least, that what it feels like. It flips over, and on the other side of the coin, was a pool of crystal-clear water, perfectly still. I look into it, and see not my current face, but the face I wore before receiving this new body. My old life's.

A voice reaches out to me. Feminine, yet deep. Powerful. British.

‡ Understand this. You have been chosen for a greater purpose. You must save this world, or end it. End it and everyone in this world, including yourself, will die. Save it, and you may live. Or, choose your own path. Just know that there are things in motion you cannot stop, and should you try to stop them... A lesson will be learned. ‡

What the fuck was that. I don't know how to react to that.

I pop off the tiny cork from the vial, and drink the liquid inside. The reddish-orange liquid is instantly gone. My eyes widen. I gasp.

"THE GAME?! I'M AWAKE! I'M BACK!!!"

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! What was the holy liquid I just put into my mouth? It tastes like ice cream on top of a hot fudge sundae in a cup made of cotton candy. That liquid is as divine as the Holy Bible. It's like all the best things I've ever tasted all at once. I now know why they're in such small vials. I slip the empty vial into a pocket, and get ready to move around.

My wound heals to some degree, my breath quickly clears, and my eyes superfocus, allowing me to see arguably better in the dark than before. I crawl over to my leg. I wipe off the dirt, and cauterize it a little with Flames, before sticking it in it's place. I now cast Healing with both hands. Only it wasn't the spell I expected. When I cast it, an aura of warm air emanates from the magic, and rays of golden glowing light encase me. Grand Healing. A spell of the Expert level in the game. You have to have at least level 75 in Restoration before being able to cast this spell. But I just casted it like it was lightwork.

I stare at my hands in wonder for a few seconds. The fuck was up with that?

After standing up, and looking around, I was able to spot a chain with a large metal ring attached to it.

I pull it and the axes swing one more time, then stay locked in position. My arms felt weak after swinging my axe and sword all night long, but now, it feels brand new.

Everyone runs up and hugs me. Except, it's not so much a hug as it is a tackle. I'm nearly knocked down, but manage to stand back up.

"Guys, calm down, calm down."

"Thank the Nine!" Uthgerd says.

"I- *We* thought you nearly died!" Jenassa exclaims. She's the majority of the weight that tackled me. Her arms are wrapped around my neck.

"What the fuck, man?! That was some crazy fuckin' fuckery ya pulled off there!" Bror freaks the fuck out. I'm glad he's explored a bit with the words I taught him.

"You're one crazy bastard, I'll give you that." Hadvar's much calmer than the others.

"First Camila, and now this. You are definitely full of miracles, my friend." Faendal says after.

"Hold on, guys. Let me grab my backpack." I say, trying to calm them down.  let go of me, and I walk back across the trapped room to where my backpack is. As I put it back on, it feels almost... comfortable and light.

I group back up with them and I was about to head forward to finish subjugating the Barrow, but then I hear, "No. You stay back there," when I tried to take the lead, like I had been doing.

For some reason now, they wanted me to stay in the back, where they can protect me. I don't understand why they suddenly think I need protection after saying that I'm a great warrior and all that not that long ago. But, whatever. Hadvar takes the lead of the crew, now.

Soon, we came to a room that was in the same design as the last couple of burial rooms, but this one was much more enclosed and had less breathing room. There were no draugr here, but there were many skeletons lying dead in the niches in the wall. Stairs lead us down and out of a cave, into a more glacial room that had a waterfall pouring from one side and flowing into of a gate-shut hallway. The walls were made of ice and a small terrarium-like ecosystem lived here.

Just like the room before the spider, nature had taken it's toll in this area. Grass is growing out of black soil and plumes of steam rise up from where an icicle drips onto the ground. Near a pile of rubble, a growth of ferns grew. This area right here is probably the cause of the dessicated and poorly preserved skeletons we saw throughout the ruins.

A large black sarcophagus leaning against the right-hand side wall nearly explodes open as a draugr with an ancient Nord greatsword walks out of it. Jenassa quickly fires an arrow at it, and Hadvar swings a diagonal cut at it.

As the grey draugr blocks Hadvar's swing with it's sword, Uthgerd cuts around it, chops it's legs out, and uses her rotational speed to spin in a circle and chop it's head off. Very flashy, and kind of strong, but altogether a mediocre move. Faendal searches the body and retrieves the gold off of it.

I lift the gate off of it's hinges and pull it away from the icy hallway. The rust cause by the water on the hinges would have ruined any turning this gate could have done. As we step into the cold water, my boots start getting soaked in a frosty, wet nightmare.

We follow the icy path around a bend and through a hallway to a large waterfall, and a path to our right. A draugr walks across a horizontal bridge in the middle of the room. Jenassa shoots it with an arrow. It falls to the bottom of the room, nearly 60 feet below us, into an icy pool of water.

I look over the edge and watch it fall, and notice a chest out of the corner of my eye. It's just under the lip of the waterfall, to my left. I climb up a rock to my left, and scramble my way over and down it, to where the chest is. I try opening the chest and realize it's locked. I reach for my backpack and dig around in the pockets till I find the 12 lockpicks or so I've been carrying around for the last 3 days.

I stick a lockpick inside and start poking around with it. I wait to hear a click, and twist in the lock. It doesn't open. I stick the lockpick back in and push slightly forward, until it's at the end of the space inside and pull it in. I flick it up, and try again. Then my pick snaps. I try a few more times, but just end up breaking more lockpicks.

I stick the last lockpick in my pack and say, "Damn it." That's all I can really do. Bullshit. I cast Flames, and burn that shit open.

A scroll of Blizzard I was lucky I didn't catch on fire, an elven bow (like I use those), a quiver of 12 elven arrows, and a sack of rubies are inside the chest. That's a lie, they're now inside my backpack.

I climb back up to where the girls are, and continue moving forward. We follow the path that travels to the right of the waterfall, and it reveals itself to be the bridge the draugr was on. We move across it, and the cave tunnels turn back into the catacombs of the ancient Nordic Barrows.

We reach a doorway with iron doors firmly shut on it. These appear to be the doors to Bleak Falls Sanctum. We open the doors, and they creak loudly as they turn. Dust flies into our face and we cough.

Beyond the door is a lit brazier, providing enough light for the next 10 feet. It showed us that ahead of us was another axe trap. The schwingschwingschwing sound echoes throughout my ears once again.

This time, however, only the first and third axes are on time. The second swings left everytime the other two swing right. This will certainly be different compared to the last experience.

I start taking off my gear. Uthgerd crosses her arms and frowns, and Jenassa looks away. Hadvar gets to his knees and starts praying, while Faendal covers his eyes.

"Y-you all are fine with me doing this again, right?"

"So long as you don't get hurt..." Uthgerd starts quietly. "It's pretty difficult to continue if we can't even reach you, too."

"Then how about this? I'll tell you what I plan on doing this time around, because this time will be different from last time."

That got their attention. I point to where the axes are swinging.

"Look at the space between the axes. That's enough room to stand in. If I go through it one axe at a time, I can make it without getting hit." 'Well, probably.'

That being said, the girls look at where I point, and Jenassa says, "Then why don't I go? I have a smaller, skinnier frame and my leather armor will allow me to move faster."

"That's exactly why. Your armor is *leather*. If you get hit even once, you're not getting back up." I point out.

"Then why don't I go? I'm the most used to the armor I wear. I might be the slowest, but if I get hit I'll be fine." Uthgerd volunteers this time.

"Again, your armor is also the reason. Steel plate is heavy, but if you get hit, that thing will either dent and break whatever got hit, or split in half, and besides, I won't be able to Heal you if there's steel plate curled up in your organs. Not only will you not be able to drag yourself over to us, but even if we did make it past, how are we supposed to continue if we can't set your bones? It's still too risky." I raise against Uthgerd's going.

"How are we going to live with a suicidal Healer?" Hadvar says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Eh, that's the fun part. The trick is in not getting hit." I suggest, snarkily.

"Says the person who got hit the hardest." Bror says, eliciting another chuckle from the group.

"Has anyone considered that there might be more than way of going about this?" Faendal says.

"Oh?" I say, preparing to jump into the far right side of the first gap between the first two axes. When it swings to the left, I jump forward.

I nearly lose my balance, and fall into the second axe, but I catch myself.

"Well, whatever you had, too bad." I turn around. "I'm already in here."

"You! You bastard!" Jenassa yells out to me. Uthgerd frowns, and shakes her head.

"We're all going to die. That's it. We're dead, and we don't even know it, yet." Hadvar's positively pessimistic about me. I am not suicidal. I am simply living-challenged.

When I feel the wind of the second axe swinging to my right (I'm facing the girls, so from the girls' perspective, the left) I take a step backwards.

I make sure to step only enough so that I'm not getting cut into by the axe. I turn back around (facing the same direction as the girls), and prepare for last one. I wait for the axe to go past me one more time, and I step forward, clearing the axe trap.

-----------------

Funds: 982 septims, 205 ancient Nord coins

Weapons:

💠 - Fine Steel War Axe (+15 extra damage)

💠 - Nordic Daggers

💠 - Quicksilver Throwing Knives {x5}

- Fine Hunting Bow, Unstrung/Wrapped {x25 arrows}

💠 - Orcish Sword

- Elven Bow, Unstrung {x12 Elven Arrows}

Apparel:

💠 - Refurbished Steel Helm (15% more armor)

💠 - Steel Armor (HP Regen. Injury Heal Rate 25%↑, Light Wound Heal 50%↑)

💠 - Spiked Iron Gauntlets (+15 extra H2H damage)

💠 - Refitted Steel Boots (15% more armor)

💠 - Custom Quicksilver buckler (18% more armor)

- Winter Cloak (20% Cold Resistance)

Potions:

- Minor Potions of Healing {x3}

- Minor Potion of Stamina

- Potion of Magicka

- Mysterious Potion x6

Food:

- Basket of Fruits and Vegetables; {onions x4, apples x8, leeks x5, potatoes x8, head of cabbage x2, carrots x6, loaves of bread x2}

Ingredients:

- Giant's Toes {x10}

Books:

- Stack of Stormcloak notes and letters to family {x15}

- Letter to Thrynn & Torturer's Ring

- Spell Tome: Sparks

Scrolls:

- Scroll of Blizzard

Supplies:

- Backpack

- Bedroll

- Cooking pan

- Waterskin

- Metal Bowl

- Torches {x3}

- Tent

Miscellaneous:

- Lockpicks {x1}

- Vial for Mysterious Potion

- Golden Claw