today I wanted to be free and feel happy
all the while working and getting myself busy , I tried to push his thoughts away but the more I tried , the more I wanted him .
I kissed a total stranger today and lord have mercy on me , I hated it the next very second .It was like I was cheating on myself.
And to make the night even worse I didn't get my periods yet .It was supposed to be yesterday and I thought it will happen but no .It didn't.
Birth controlling pills might not work .Tina got pregnant likely but me ?
The thought about pregnancy is ripping my mind .What if Edward thinks I'm doing this on purpose to make him stay .He left and I don't know when he will be back .
Will he be back ?
I don't know
What will I tell him ?
He will think I'm an con artist , gold digger anything.
It's my fault .
I should check, what If its positive.
I should go get the kit first , oh god please .
I don't want this , what if he hates me if this becomes true ?