You don't care

Danica

I didn't know what to say to Jerome when he got back in so I went with my guts.

I winced when I remembered how unfair it had been to hear from another person about how my mother had died. He had looked hurt, but concealed it well.

"Why are you still up? Did you change your mind about leaving? Are you having a breakdown about how today went?"

"No," I answered him "I just want you to give me time."

"Time for what?" He asked, opening the bathroom door and picking a towel from one of the hangers.

"You know, when my mother died, I lost faith in the world, I was a little girl with no hope of ever surviving and suddenly three rabbits appeared, telling me how they were created from magic and were a gift from my mother, I had been stealing from shop keepers, changing into my leopard form to steal from camps, and I enjoyed doing it, there wasn't a limit to what I didn't steal, I stole money, stole food, all sorts of things. So you have to understand, when the rabbits came I didn't believe them, I even tried to kill them twice, I was very sure they came to take me to Thanos, very sure they were trying to trick me, and the fact that they could talk cemented the belief, cause you know, rabbits can't talk. But then one day, I was going to steal a man's purse, and because I had no idea the man was a shifter, I got caught and apparently the man knew who my mother was, there by in fact, know who I was. That was the first time I got scared after my encounter with Thanos, I mean the wolfish grin that overtook the man's face nearly did me in. He knew my worth, he was going to kidnap me"

Jerome was now taking of his clothes.

"The rabbits suddenly appeared, telling me to look the man in the eyes and made sure he was lost staring into mine, then I should say, with confidence, for him to let me go. I didn't believe them at first, I was very convinced it was all still a trick. But then they told me to choose, either go with the man or save myself. During this entire conversation the man was very focused on dragging me into his car without calling attention to himself, so he had no idea I was communicating with the three rabbits who followed behind us."

I averted my eyes when Jerome started taking off his trouser, even though I had no problem staring at his pecks and down to his crotch a moment ago.

When I was sure he was done tying the towel around himself I turned back to look at him and swallowed. The man looked tantalizing, and his scent didn't make it any better.

And to think just hours ago he didn't affect me as he did now, sure I've always admired his looks, but other than that there was nothing else but attraction. I wondered what happened to make me crave him now. It probably had to do with whatever Tara did to me.

"I decided to trust them because, I wanted to save myself," I continued as he stood staring back at me. "You know it took weeks before I let them anywhere near me, I slept in alleys at the outside of a shop and the rabbits were with me the whole time. They thought me all sorts of things, how to fight, how to read a person's mind, and when I trusted them enough, I told then about my mother's cottage and we teleported there. It was then decided that I had to go to school. They made sure I did and the whole situation with the councilor changed everything again. Everyone my mother trusted betrayed her, everyone I ever trusted betrayed me. look at the situation with the rabbits, they told me my mother made them, I thought my mother and father made them because that was what I remembered, finding out it was the man I feared my whole life was who they belonged to was like a betrayal.

I thought myself not to trust anyone, not to harbour any feelings, to make sure no one could be used to hurt me, to not decipher between emotions, to take everything that life throws my way without an emotion involved. To take it as nothing. I want you to bear with me, I'm really trying, I'm used to keeping everything to myself so it's going to be hard to let someone in."

"I understand." Jerome said.

"You do?" I coughed, "I mean, thank you."

"You've been through so much, but that doesn't mean you get to act like you don't care."

"I care."

"No you don't." He growled, "if you did, you wouldn't have rejected me over and over again, you wouldn't have gone without informing me, you didn't care about how I'd feel reading the letter you left, you would have thought about what it would look like to my pack when you kept rejecting me, you would have cared about what they would say behind my back. But you don't care, you only think about yourself, you are selfish."

"But I care Jerome, I just don't know how to show it."

"Would you leave me if Thanos threatens the pack because of you?"

"I would." I answered without hesitation.

His laugh was humourless. "You didn't think about how your living would affect me did you? You didn't even stop to think about how instead of running You should stand and support me, and let me do the same for you. All you thought about was how guilty you'd feel if anything happened, you don't want any guilt on your conscience, so tell me. How do you care?"

He didn't wait for me to answer, he just walked into the bathroom and closed the door hus face blank.