What do I do?

Julian's POV

" What's happening Julian? Why is Iona here?" She demands looking hurt and irate and I look over her head to check if the door was locked. I regret not going to answer the door.

" Julian? I thought you were business partners? " She asks calmly and I walk over to her to pull her closer but she steps away from me.

" Don't touch me. Just answer the damn question" I run a hand through my hair slightly frustrated with the way she's acting. How do I respond when she's doing all the talking?

" Iona approached my mother a few days ago after I left Ireland. She had a little boy with her.. "

" And she's insisting he's your son?"she finishes for me. I furrow my brow when she said that. She says it so casually. Has she met Iona? If she did then why hasn't she said anything? And she doesn't look peeved about it.

" Yes, Mom conducted a DNA test and it came back positive. I'm not thrilled about it but I need to see him " She narrows her eyes at me while I continue" I told mom to send for them. I wanted to tell you. I guess I freaked out " I tell her truthfully and she hisses.

" I get it but why are they here? Can you just pay her off? I don't want to see her. Her bastard son isn't welcome in our home " she says and I furrow my brows. She isn't seeing things from my perspective. I can't pay her off just like that. I haven't thought of the possibility of him being my son but what if he is? Will Lena do this too?

" Lena, I can't just dismiss them. The DNA results came back positive and...."

" I don't care. Spare me the lecture. There's no way I'm accepting a child from another woman let alone the girl you are in love with " she says and I gasp.

" You think I'm still in love with her? " There's an edge to my voice and I don't mean to sound like that but I can't help it. Not when she's accusing me of being unfaithful to my face this time.

" Are you not? Why is she here then? Is she going to be living with us because she bore you a son? A son she hid from you for years" she accuses and I can see the bitterness in her voice. I guess I haven't thought about her reaction when she finds out about this. I didn't because I am going to solve it quickly cos the election is a day away. I guess she doesn't see it that way.

" No, I'm not. Lena, this isn't easy for me "

" It seems easy for you to bring your ex into our home after you fucked me the whole night. You made decisions without me and I'm supposed to listen to you? You're not bringing him into our home and that's final " she says while holding my gaze and I grit my teeth in disappointment but I'm not surprised because this is how Lena is. She hurts others when she's hurting. Typical Lena.

" It's not up to you anymore. I'm going down to see them. You can stay here if you want " I tell her because I'm tired of going in circles over this. It's obvious she's not going to listen to reasons and I'm done convincing her. She shakes her head, turned around, and walked out on me. no, she's not going down there to embarass me or cause ruckus. so, I follow her.

" Lena, Lena. Where are you going? " I call after her as she exits our room and she's sauntering to the living room. I walk faster until I catch up with her then I grab her hands gently but she yanks them off. My heart breaks when she turned around and she was in tears. She wipes it off with the back of her palms and I take a step closer to her.

" Don't. So, this is it? You're choosing them over me? I thought we had five years together. The woman you love shows up with a child and you're all righteousness about it. I have been such a fool for loving you. What was all the sex about? Goodbyes? I'm known for being ruthless but you, that was a little low even for you. Why will you do that to me? " She's asking me all these questions but all I can think about is her knowing about the ultimatum regarding our marriage. She knows. She's known all this while and she said nothing? My chest tightens at the words coming out of her mouth. The most painful part is that she believes these things.

" Doing what Lena? Will you listen to me before you jump to conclusions? "

" Did you buy me from my parents to get back at me or did you not? " She poses a question and I'm suddenly lost for words. I open my mouth to defend myself but nothing comes out. She takes it as a yes and then she continues.

" Aren't you responding to your illegitimate child and your first and only love? Did you not have sex with me last night because you wanted a last taste? Funny because while all you wanted was my body, I was thinking about us. I was willing to ignore your deception because I love you, Julian. You made me feel things I didn't know I could feel. You brought hope into my life and I have felt this way right from the moment I met you in that diner and my feelings have intensified ever since. I have been telling myself that you'll forgive me, Deep down you still feel something for me and I didn't mind giving you my body because I wanted you too but there's so much I can tolerate. This is my limit. I'm done putting up with your shenanigans" she says sniffling and I reach for her but she doesn't push me away this time. I cup her cheeks and use my thumb to wipe her tears away. Lena said she loves me. It's hard to keep up but I know she puts in a lot of effort to tell me this and I feel like shit for making her cry. I wonder how many times she's cried herself to a pup because of me. I'm not choosing anyone over her. She's overreacting to this.

" Lena, they're not staying here and I'm not in love with Iona. I loved her once and that was a long time ago. I know you're saying this because you're scared my feelings might end up resurfacing but that's never going to happen. I don't know what you were told but that wasn't how it happened. I didn't buy you... I just.. last night with you was the best night of my life like every other night we have had together regardless of how few it was. I know my heart is guarded right now but I want you to know that you're all I think about and I'll never choose anyone over you. I promise " I emphasize every word as calm as I can and I wish I can open my heart to her again but I'm still hurt and have just started healing. I'm scared she might crush it when I hand it to her . Don't get me wrong I feel for Lena. I always have. I need to trust her and she has to prove it to me that if I give my heart to her again, she won't crush it. I know I'm able to heal because we're together now but I need time.

"But you don't love me" my eyes roam all over her beautiful face dying to tell her those words but I didn't. She looks at me in disbelief and tears keeps spilling out of her eyes which I wipe off subconsciously but it just keeps spilling.

" Mr. Leon, everyone is waiting for you" Dede says behind us but we don't look her way because the intensity of her words hangs between us mostly because Lena was eager for an answer and I am scared to confess my feelings for her. We stare at each other for the longest time until her eyes drops to my lips then she looks away. I feel her warm hands on mine as she entangles herself from me leaving sparks wherever she touched.

What happened to us? Last night we couldn't keep our hands to ourselves and now she won't let me touch her. This is all Iona's fault. I can't wait to have another DNA test and from my personal doctor this time. I know my life has been miserable and something tells me it's about to become worse with her absence. I'm not ready to give her up yet . I can't.

" I'll be there Dede. Give us a moment" I say still looking at Lena's hurting face. She's not looking at me neither is she saying anything which is disturbing because I prefer to hear her thought than having to guess.

" What are you thinking about? Just tell me baby. Please" I urge yet she won't look at me. I place two fingers under her chin to lift it ,so that she'll look at me. My chest tightens when I stare into her tearful eyes with swirls of emotion reflecting in it but what hurt the most was that she seems heartbroken, disappointed and sad. How do I fix this? Why can't I tell the woman I love my feelings? Why can't I trust her? I want to. I really want to Lena but you're not helping when you are keeping things to yourself. Bottling your feelings like that. you found out about the ultimatum and said nothing. It explains her urge for sex these days. Its like she's making the most of it.

" My makeup is smudge so... I need a retouch. Go and see them. I knew I was unlovable anyway so thank you Leon for letting me get a glimpse of it. It's time I accept this. We're both using each other for profit. I know that now " I narrow my eyes at her as she begins to wipe her face and I clench my fist. She's giving up on me. It takes Iona's reappearance for her to make that decision. It hurts so much to know she is willing to give me up . You see, this is the reason I will never tell her I love her.

" Go and see your son afterall I mean nothing to you. I don't understand why you said those things in the car about trying for us. A son does mean alot . You're just like my father. Thanks for tolerating me though " she says and I frown watching as she turned around and walked to our bedroom.

There are times I wish I'm like my father; wise, enigmatic and kind . I tried those attributes when I court Lena in Sweden before all this happened mostly because I wanted to understand her and it helped but now I can see my effort go to waste because of a stupid decision my mother made. I should have spoken to Lena when I learnt about it but I chickened out because of how close we have become over the past few days and I didn't want to jeopardize that for something as trivial as Iona. It turns out it wasn't trivial after all. Lena ended up making a big deal out of it without waiting for my judgement. I hadn't accepted him yet and she wants nothing to do with him and now me.

What do I do?